Someone Asked Me Today....

I was asked today if I consider myself a feminist. I sort of laughed, I thought it was obvious but apparently if someone felt so inclined to ask then perhaps I should ponder my response more carefully then staring at this person like he just landed from Mars.

Am I a feminnist? It's a good question, I've really never put too much thought into labeling myself in such a manner...I think I've inherantly thought of myself as such. If being a feminist means having concern for the treatment of women of all ages world-wide, then yes. I'd say, yes, most definately that I am a feminist.

If being a feminist means I have to discount the value of the male species to promote the value of the female gender...than I can't do that. As much as I have my days where I find myself thinking that most men are almost totally and completely worthless and that sure, it really IS pretty unfair. The way things have panned out, how many men in my generation are getting off way easy and not having to committ themselves to their children, their wives, their partners, their jobs, their families....how I find the double standards about sex, morality and general conventional thought about what is deemed acceptable for a man to do versus the same for a woman. What about the manner in which females are treated and portrayed in certain cultures that have now become Americanized and the concept of feminie power and beauty is no longer at play, it's just about exploiting and making a dollar off of a beautiful womans body, voice, talent or otherworldly qualities? It's totally disgusting and degrading.

Or the fact that I am still making less than my male counter-parts and especially because I am a single mother. I am most likely to make even less than a woman without a child in my field b/c being a mother often must tend to needs of her child completely on her own, thus are more apt to miss work. But last I checked, no matter the method, it takes sperm which comes from a MAN and an egg which comes from a woman to make a baby...in my case I became pregnant by a man who does absolutely nothing to assist in the care for this child, yet I am still punished by society for being a single, working mother who works hard to care for the child his own father has abandoned.

Talk about some bullshit, for sure!

But, I know woman do all of these things too....it's not a gender thing, or a judgement thing. It's an individual position. It is who YOU are. I would never be able to discount anyone for the mere fact of their gender, it would be the same as we are accusing the American culture of doing to us a woman since it's inception. Men are beautiful, interesting and complex individuals. Many of the kindest people I know come to me in the form of grandfathers and fathers and brothers. My Grandpa John and Comer, Howard, Bryan, Dane and Matt. And my sons, Max and the many young boys in my life I care for. They all loving, giving, capable, concious, honorable, good men. Good human beings. I love them all very deeply and appreciate what they bring to my life and the world they live in. So, I don't believe in 'hating' on men as a means to an end in the message and potential outcomes of the feminist movement.

However, I have to be perfectly blunt and let me not stutter...I see about a 10 to 1 ratio of guys behaving poorly versus their female equal acting in the same manner. It's sad to say, but I must point it out only for the mere fact that while I do believe it IS personal choice to be who you are and it not is defined by your gender...where I think the problem lies has more to do with what culture/communities condone versus the inherant nature of a male/female. And that, more than anything I feel...is what makes me a feminist. Is to support the message of equality, freedom, opportunity and empowerment for women.

Ultimately, what I'd like to see is communities supporting all of us. Every gender, color, eye & nose & lip shape, young, old and in between...I'd like to see our communities supporting us ALL equally, fairly and justly. That's where I would have to start.

Now I'm not sure how to answer this question, perhaps I could consider myself an 'equalist?'

EDIT:
Read this, it is a reminder as to why we should be fighting for all of our rights...not just amongst the genders. These guys, that go over there and serve 2 and 3 and 4 duties...its so sad. The woman fighting over there, right along side those men...it makes me cry and cry. It's just not right and for any of the misgivings of our current political and cultural climate in America, I can deal with that...where we have to start is with changing the global impact. It's too scary.
http://www.alternet.org/asoldierspeaks/55921/