A Sadness....

The title of this blog may be misleading, life is great. Truly, I feel like maybe I've bounced back from a period of difficulty and it feels great. I enjoy the idea that perhaps life continues to bring more upswing and positivity and less downtrodden difficulty. But I will take each day as it graces me for I feel lucky just to be alive today, something I sense I should hold closer to my heart when I am having drama over irrilevant issues.

I learned today that I couple I've been friends with upwards of 8 years is seperating. This couple has experienced many an up and down and recently married, within the past 2 years. Now they are seperating and apparently divorce is inevidable.

This news is incredibley saddening to me, I can't stop thinking about it. I am rather close to them both in different ways and I know my friendship with them as individuals outside of their couple-dom will not cease. But my heart aches with the idea that it's just not working out for them. Through all adversity and obstacle, I thought they would be the ones to make it. If only because they'd only come through some much already. I know it is a painful split for them as well and one is moving out of state, so I think that may help a little where in years past they were not able to have real difinative (sorry no spell checker at the moment) space from one another. But honestly, I have shed tears over this news and it's difficult for me to understand why I am so deeply and profoundly rocked by this information.

I care for them both very much and have known them long enough to know that this is a case of love that is real, but perhaps not meant for this life time or time in each of their respective lives. They are both incredibley strong and I know they will come through this having learned a great deal about themselves, I also know that this may not be the 'end' for them as I've seen it happen off and on now for the entirity of my friendship with them.

Possibely my heart mourns for the very idea that a love I've always seen as a triumphant one, has faltered and leaving it's pariticpants in the dust. It has burst my happy little bubble a little, made me say to myself...this CAN happen to all of us at any moment and while taking each day as it is and being greatful for it, I can't help but feel a bit forlorn about the fact that some of my closest and dearest friends are facing this after all they have been through and all the potential within their future.

I totally respect this decision, I do not want it to come across as if I am somehow laying blame on either of them. I know them both well enough to know this decision has not come easily and only after much thorough thought and meditation on the issue.

But it still makes me sad.

Feeling myself wondering alot about 'love' and how people like my Grandparents who have been married for over 50 years make it that long and then people who you KNOW have an undeniable connection have to leave it after only a few years of marriage.

Don't mean to be a downer....I fully subscribe the idea of fate and that destiny is an actual thing. I do not believe in a single 'soul mate', however, but that there are many we might cross paths with that we find a connection that may last a life time, it may not.

I also know better than to let this totally burst through my own happiness with Chance, I am often easily influenced by the world around me and can let it mold my emotional state. I cannot do that in this particular situation because Chance and I have reached a place that feels very good to me, and even though I don't believe in a single soul mate...I'd say Chance is as close to one as I've ever found in a man and for this, I am happy. I like being happy, I like knowing this man and sharing our lives. I like that life feels good for us. Nothing is perfect, neither are we...nor are we any better from any other couple...we are just us, for now and in this place and that's ok with me.

I will stand and support my friends through this time and I will learn what I can from them. Mostly, and this is my ultimate bottom line, I love them both very very much and will be whatever I can be for them...my own issues aside, what matters to me now is letting them know that they are supported through whatever means are nessisary at this point. Somehow I suspect it will not be any time soon, but after the dust of summer chaos settles and moves have been made...I sense I will have to be strong and hold my faith in love for all things firmly within myself.