The Nerve Of Man

Max's father is contesting parternity. Meaning, he's making Max PROVE that he is his child (which is Sean's right) before Sean will even proceed with court ordered activity child support activity. Ok, fine...like I get it, probably some one advised him to do so. Fine. Except, Max is like almost 15 years old and Sean has NEVER denied that Max is his son. And, it's only when it comes to dollar signs does Sean suddenly want to get serious about weather this kid is his or not.

The endless nerve that men in my generation seem to have is apalling. There seems to be little, or none at all, sense of accountablility or moral ground for them to say..."Hey, what I does might actually affect someone!" Like his child, or his ex-partner, or even is current wife. I totally give up.

Next Tuesday, at 9 AM...Max and I have to report to DNA testing at Jeffco Social Services. Hrm...how to discuss this with Max. Well first of all, when I spoke w/ my case worker and she informed not only did Max have to swab his mouth I also had to, to prove that I was his mother. I know I shouldn't be insulted...but I WAS. I asked her if she'd ever seen a picture of my son....she said "Yes, I have it right here." I didn't have to say anymore, we both just laughed.

I thought to myself, after all this time that I've been the one changing his perverbial diaper and feeding him and worrying about him...someone is going to question whether I am his mother or not. Screw that junk. I know it's a formality...but HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Back to how to discuss with Max...so I've thought about it for a few days, and I thought the best thing was just to give him the facts and see what he says. He asked, "Why would we have to go get our DNA tested to prove that Sean is my dad?" I gave him some mumbo jumbo about how it's his dad's rigbht to ask and he just wants to be sure before we enter into a child support order....Max interrupted with "He wants to be sure that I am his son?" I said yes and monitored carefully.

If I ever have to see my child's face like that again, I will take care of Sean's attitude problem myself. The heartbreak was obvious and as if I've not had to mend his heart enought b/c of a man who was irresponsible with his heart...here, let me pick it up off the floor for you again.

He asked if I knew why he was doing this. I told him b/c he just wants to be sure. Max said "Because he doesn't want to have to pay to help me if I am not his son?" And I said..."Yes, he's probably trying to get out of paying child support." Max looked at my like puppies do when they are curious.

I held him and told him there was no doubt that he was Sean's son and that it was about time for his dad to start helping out. Max said "Your right Mom, and if Sean doesn't think I am his kid...what about my adam's apple? Or my teeth?" I told him he was right and I was sorry if he was hurting. He denied it, but immiedately wanted to go outside and hang out with his friends. Clearly, he's hurt and pissed.

Honestly, there's a part of me that is glad he's pissed. I hate having to be the one to explain to my child that his dad is a total jerk-weed, but I've been kind long enough. I can no longer protect Max from the facts. And that is that his father is forcing us to go to a DNA testing cetner and verify that Sean is the father of my child, and tha tI am the mother, even though his name is on the birth certificate and he has never ever EVER denied that Max is his son.

Freaking losers. How it is that people like this cannot see outside of themselves enough to realize who else they may be hurting is beyond me. We were all vulnerable once, we were all children once....how does that get lost in people? How do they forget and then loose sight of how their selfish actions might hurt others?

I don't get it.