I talked at length with my Aunt Marcy last night, it was neat. I feel so open with her, my Conlee's sure do rock! Their all so loving, accepting...like what families do right? I was in a mood last night I tell ya, Aunty got to see me in a prime state of mind. But hey, everyone has those days where they cuss too much and are angry at the world. I think it was the combination of the pain pills and one too many cigarettes. I don't smoke any more - remember! Danget, busted.
Anywhoozle...it feels good to get to know my fathers family, I like finding out where I come from and it never hurts to have one more person out in the world to love! I talked to my GramE for a few minutes last night too, I love her voice. It makes me feel good.
I am miserable today though, those freaking pain killers are killing ME! They make me feel worse than they are worth, which really is a bummer because it hurts today. I won't lie, I'm feeling pitiful about it kind of. I'm exhausted by the whole thing...hurting takes a lot out of a girl. It's safe to say I am completely drained at this point. So, I'll be going home soon I think. Going home to look at my Hello Kitty fun things from P and snuggle my Max and water the dog. Yeah, I have to water my dog. She LOVES water. It's hard to deny her.
The motorcycle people are calling me, luckily I know what to say. I'm getting more and more nervous about it....it's unbelievable to me how much a person can deny their irresponsibility and how it's adversely affected others. The strain this situation has put on me, Max and Mary & Howard is so painful. My life has suffered, my relationships are suffering and I end up left feeling like all of this for a guy? Wow. I'll know better next time, that's for sure.
On that note, because I am left with huge furniture payments that were supposed to be paid off in trade for my credit helping him to buy the bike....blah blah blah..(I'm not bitter) blah blah blah...I'm bidding on contract work. I can't under cut myself on this one, but it is non-profit so I have to be as minimal as possible. If it pans out, I should get a little closer to not going bankrupt.
Other news....Max starts soccer camp Monday and he's gigantic. I am going home now to snuggle him and forget about money and work and soccer practice for a few hours and then sleep!!!!
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