Yes, It Really Can Be THAT Overwhelming For Some People

I realize this is an extreme example, but considering my current circumstances, it caught my eye this morning while skimming the local news for weather and events.

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=80169

Thank goodness there are people in the world educated enough on how stressfull this kind of financial difficulty is and are alert enough to be more proactive than to wait for something awful to happen.

There are so many people with no support, no one to help them make these difficult decisions, no one to wipe their tears. Those who reach out to others in need during times of crisis are definate beauties in my book, they do, very literally, save lives.

I am surrounded by love, support and a wise group of individuals who I trust to counsel me when my own head is totally out of whack.

These are people who can truly understand the absolute seriousness of this situation and can treat it as such, VERY VERY VERY SERIOUS!

VERY SERIOUS!

Except Crystal. Damn her. Last night, I called her up hysterically bawling after my meeting, ranting and raving about how my life was going to hell in a handbasket, how could I be so stupid? Beating the living crap out of myself and carrying on about woe is me and what have I done and so on and so forth. Do you know what she had the nerve to do? She made me laugh! Not just a half-assed, forced giggle. Har Har. Nope, it was FULL ON belly laughter. I mean, like buahwhwhwwhawaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and then I cackled my standard Sarah cackle and it was over. And more than once too.

;-)

And then....I felt better. At least the hysterical crying stopped. Not just because she did listen and essentially mommied me while I was on the verge of breakdown (plus I know I am rather pathetic when I cry, like Puss N Boots from Shrek I've been told, so she probably was tired of hearing that) but also because she reminded me that I AM going to get through this, I'm not the first woman on the planet who loved the wrong guy and did stupid shit for love, no one hates me and pulling up my big girl panties and getting a plan in order is really the only thing left to be done at this point. Then, in only the way that Crystal & I can during a private conversation, esablished the perfect euphemism for my current situation, except that it is not at all Blogger.com freindly, so I'll leave that to your imagination.

Then I was able to compose myself long enough to talk with Howard with some sense of calm exterior, though doubtful it was totally convincing. We have the beginnings of a tentative plan and like all plans, that means getting an outline of what your options are, having a meeting with all your experts and getting action items in motion.

I realized I can no longer be married to specific outcomes, that flexibility in my decision making and my ability to problem solve must become my shield and sword as I begin this new journey. The shock has finally worn off, now I can start getting it together. All the while, keeping that north star shinning bright in front of me.

So what if today is "just gotta get through the day" days? Who cares? No town has ever rebuilt in the aftermath of a torndado in one day or one week or one month.

Rebuilding takes patience, time, forgiveness.