I feel better this morning, mood wise. Physically, I still feel like butt. Sinus thing kinda kicking me in the head, but considering all the people I know with health problems I feel I really can’t complain about a sinus headache and creepy all over feeling that won’t quite go away. I also realize this could be due to all this emotional work I am doing right now, it’s been pointed out to me that emotional stuff can manifest itself into physical stuff (which I know, but forget sometimes) so I’m focusing on taking really good care of myself and getting to work every day. Last night I went home, made grilled cheese and soup for dinner, did crosswords and snuggled my dog. Was in bed by 9 and asleep by 9:30 or so.
I am having some wildly vivid dreams. Last night’s was about Chance. At first in my dream, I was kind and tolerant of him. Overly so, to which of course he was receptive and began taking advantage of very quickly. Then I completely went off on him, accusing him of ruining my life, which he responded to by deflecting it all unto me (typical, no accountability) and acting as if I’d said nothing at all. Then I beat the living hell out of him with my little fists. Rather violent for me, so this woke me up and I was breathing heavily and everything. Hmmmm, no unresolved issues there huh?
Max and I spoke for about 30 minutes yesterday. Babble about nothing really, but it’s the longest we’ve spoken since he moved. He was receptive and actually participated in the conversation. It was good enough that I didn’t hang up and cry after, so that’s something.
The weekend looks quiet, girls night maybe on Friday night if everyone is up to it. Based on how I feel at the moment, that seems unlikely but we’ll see. I wish it was next weekend, Micheal Moore’s new movie comes out and I can’t wait to see that. Love him or hate him, no one can deny that he makes these issues palatable for the average consumer, which helps to both inform and motivate. It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
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