Life is relatively quiet at the moment and I am thankful for this. Max is wrapping up soccer and other than the standard teen-age testing, he seems relatively stable and happy at the moment. All the animals are healthy getting ready for winter. Pumpkin and Kasha are forever engaging in a battle of wills and territory over who is Mom's 'favorite' which is a loosing battle because I don't have a 'favorite' but I can't seem to articulate this into kitteh/puppeh language.
Speaking of winter, it is definitely on it's way. Typical Colorado falls look like very cool mornings, with warmer afternoons in the 60's and 70's and that's how the rest of the week is supposed to go. Today however, it is very chilly out and cloudy. I expect more and more cloudy and cooler days, which I don't mind. If and/or when I move to another location, I will miss Colorado Spring/Fall so.
I have letters to write, aunties to call and friends coming to visit. I've lost 5 lbs (w/o so much as any effort) and have successfully revisited meditation in the past week on 3 different occasions. That vein in my forehead no longer throbs and pulses to it's own beat, there have been no headaches for over two weeks. I no longer feel bloated with grief and disappointment and am able to begin seeing the svelte, beautiful unique and lovely fruit within blossoming.
I miss that girl, the confident, happy and content person who's outside match her insides. It is possible she may experience another metamorphosis, even grander than the last. Time tells, no?
My dreams are regularly about the one we won't speak of though, actually more than ever these past two weeks. Yesterday morning, after a long night of awkward and strange dreams, I awoke half expecting him to be there, next to me. Except before my eyes opened I silently prayed to my angels that he wouldn't be, that I was free from months and months and months of confusing emotions and difficult mental spaces. Perhaps it is my subconscious finally allowing itself to explore this recent situation more indepthyly, while the conscious Sarah begins to move forward.
Who knows, but this morning I am snuggly in my sweater and have a nice warm cup of white tea ready for drinking.
Happy Monday friends, there is work to be done.
Till next time, love to you all.
xo,
S
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