After some discussion, thought and welcomed wisdom...I'm able to put this thing in perspective with Max's dad. Understand that these emotions are strongest when the situation first occurrs, I am then able to breathe a little more and know that Max and I can work through it and life soon will present new challenges to meet, greet and solve. It's just what it is and I'm sure everyone can understand the emotional aspects of this, Max is my only child and we've been through a lot together. I'm not always strong or totally capable and half the time have zero clue about how to mother a teenager, but I'm getting there and I've had alot of support.
Sometimes I get childish about it, I will admit that. I'm still learning how to be a grown up. I know none of this is fair and I know whinning about it doesn't change it, fix it or somehow make it better for Max. I also know that it's ok for me to vent it out and say what I really feel and why I feel it and that's not always easy to do either.
Maybe I'm just having a crappy day. Nothing I say comes out right today and my head is all weird. Actually, I think I'm getting sick. Which isn't totally surprising, everyone (including Max) around me has some kind of stupid crud and it's that time of year...kids go back to school, everyone starts getting sick. Sounds like a waiting room at the height of flu season in my office right now.
Till I can make more sense and formulate thoughts that are coherant...
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