OH BROTHER!

Max's father called to wish him a happy birthday yesterday evening. Funny thing, he requested a DNA test just to "be sure" that Max is his son, though he's never denied that Max is his child and everyone under the sun can tell that Max his Sean's child. Just look at him for cripes sake. That humiliation aside after Max gets off the phone with Max his mood was visibley changed. Not up or down, just...different. Anxious? He started getting very bouncey, sort of reminded me of when he was small and couldn't control himself physically.

Then the story comes spilling out.

A little background for those of you who don't know Owen. Owen is a child that became involved with Max's side of the family through a series of strange and rather unfortunate events. Max's Aunt S was married to a man much older than herself, this man had a daughter and this man's duaghter was Owen's mother. Max's Aunt S had children with this older man, and eventually their children and Owen were all taken into state custody for neglect and suspected abuse. During this time, the older man passed away and another strange series of events occurred and somehow, all of the kids ended up with Max's grandparents. For about 3 years they had these kids while their parents worked to get their lives together and the stated deemed them fit to care for their own children. During this time, Owen's mother simply dissappeared.

So since, Owen has essentially been passed around the family between Max's Aunt S, the grandparents (he was even left in foster care at one point) have been playing pass the kid for about 15 years now. He's a nice boy mostly, but clearly, he's going to have issues.

Anyway, the last big shift was that Max's grandparents got tired of trying to work with him and essentially stuck him on a bus to Mississippi (by himself at age 13) to live with his mother. The scenario could've had a happy ending, except that Owen's mother is newly remarried and has new children with this man and as I understand it, every bit as nasty as she was when Owen was a baby. I remember and she was NOT a warm or caring woman in any way. In fact, after only one visit I wouldn't allow Max to be around her. Ever.

Moving on. As predidcted, she couldn't handle Owen either and sent him back to CO. This past weekend. Literally, stuck him on a bus to Denver and told the grandparents he was on his way, AFTER they'd put him on the bus. What the hell is wrong with these people?

As it turns out, Max's grandparents can't committ to his care either. Guess where he's living. Just guess.

WITH MAX'S DAD! That's right folks, Sean is 'adopting' Owen and they will live together as 'room-mates.' A 15 year old boy and a 38 year old man who's never been able to care for his own child in any way is now suddenly capable of caring for Owen. Owen who is perpetually in trouble, at school and with the law even. Owen who's been passed around like a hot potato. Owen who had sex already by the time he was 12 and brags about it.

Yeah, I know.

Sean then proceeds to tell Max how much money he's making and how much fun he and Owen are going to have living together. That Sean should have his car fixed, so he can come to CO around the holidays to see Max for the "few short days your mom will let me see you." ugh.

It took every single ounce of energy in my body to restrain myself. I just stared at Max. Finally, I said "Max, your dad plans to support Owen?" and he said "Yeah, isn't it cool. They'll be like brothers or something! Besides, he just got this great new job and will be making tons of money so they should be fine."

I couldn't help it. I mumbled under my breathe:

"Great. Then he can finally send us some freaking money."

I feel terrible about it. You should have seen Max's face, he was a little taken back by it obviously. I generally keep those comments to myself. I was totally out of line, it was one of those came-out-of-my-mouth-before-I-could-think-it-through things. yuck.

Max doesn't get it at all, he seriously doesn't. He really has this thing in his head that Sean shouldn't have to pay child support and his rationale has always been because his dad can't afford it. But he can afford to bring in a wayward kid? How the hell can he take care of Owen? But he can afford to buy new motorcyles and go on vacations to CA for 3 weeks? But he's going to make us PROOVE that Max is his child through DNA sample before he'll even bother to drop a dime on his own son.

A$$hole. Call my son up on his birthday to what? Rub this in his face....somehow get Max to think he is a "cool" guy? WTF? Are you KIDDING ME! Sean sent Max $50 for his bday, as you can imagine Max was excited and that's great. But you know, $50, once or twice a year isn't jack SHIT. Does it make you feel like a good dad to throw your own son a bone once in a while? Yep, freaking dad of the year. That's you Sean. Nice going!

I am so angry about this today (obviously) and let me tell you, this little encounter has gotten Max thinking and I can tell. Since last night, he's been so snippy with me. He's acting out. He doesn't understand why a simple conversation with his dad could cause such tensions. And it's not fair to him, I know...but none of this is fari. I guarantee he's not puting 2 and 2 together yet about this thing with Owen, he's mostly just thinking about how cool it would be to live in WY with them. Like "room-mates" with no school, no responsibility, no accountability. Certainely not some strict mother who makes him go to school every day and checks his homework at night and insists he keep his room at least picked up and makes him take out the garbage and won't just let him rot in front of the TV and talks to him about the hard stuff and takes care of him when he's sick and worries about money and how to meet his every need.

My love for Max and our life together can never be undone. I know that. Max has every right to know his father and have a relationship with him. To find out how who his dad is and make his own decisions. I know that too and embrace and accept it if it was Max wants and I will help him any possible way I can.

But damn you Sean. Damn you for every time you pop up and confuse this boy. Damn you for being so irresponsible, so selfish! Damn you for hurting my baby. Damn you for making me feel so hateful toward you. Damn you.