Moody Mondays

I am exhausted today, hurt my back over the weekend some how and now basically feel useless. Feeling guilty b/c I am supposed to go to a reunion of previous CORRA coworkers this evening and don't have the energy to face the Tech Center traffic with the back thing and sit at a restaurant for 3 hours. So I'm backing out and feeling like a shit in doing so. Chance is madly scrambling to prep for his finals today, which I know he'll do fine on but he is essentially on another planet until he is done with them all. He then starts class again the week of April 1st, so he'll have a few weekends to chill...but it's Spring and time for yard work, no rest for the wicked!

I could deal with all these things, except for the following 2:

a) My Pumpkin kitty had some sort of episode on Saturday night, something that appeared to be similar to a seizure. So I spent Saturday night snuggling her and crying and trying to face the reality that I must take her to the vet and the possibility that the vet will want to put her to sleep. I am still pretty much not dealing with it, so I can't go to much more into it except to say that the complexities of this situation are enormous and it truly challenges my spirit. And it is quite painful.

b) My clients are giving me a pretty hard time when I try to take time off, as if they some how own me or can make that decision. When I contact them with an update about my schedule...I'm not ASKING. Hello! I alerted them to the fact that I'd be off this week to spend time with my Aunty (2 weeks ago I told them) they are pouting and being difficult....I also gave them a heads up about my trip to Mexico in July 2007. They've basically said a firm "No" unless I can find a back up, which like so many jobs I've had before....there is NO back up for my position. Not to this extent. I understand, both of these scheduled time off periods are around close out...but I've always worked very hard to accommodate their close out periods and the corresponding reporting that is needed. I have 2 close outs each month, both of which take up several days before and after to finalized. So about 2 weeks out of the month I work very hard not to schedule time off. But in this case, it cannot be helped. I'm sorry, but I call bullshit! If they were charged for every night and weekend hour I've worked for them, to meet their time frames which are often completely unreasonable and usually totally based on a lack of proper planning and decision making....if they'd been charged for all that extra stress....they would be complaining about billing more and more and I would have gotten a much bigger raise this past review period.

And again...I'm not ASKING.

Nancy is my boss, not them. Problem is, this puts me in a quandary with her as well because she needs me to do the job. Period. That is why I am hired, at some point...I may be promoted and moved off these projects, but for now...I am assigned to these clients and I know she looks to me to be on the ball for them. She really needs me to handle these guys, because she doesn't have time to. She knows I work hard, she knows I am on the ball. I know that I am and she knows they are often unreasonable, but the client is generally the one you want to satisfy. Nancy is also on that list, she is an excellent boss. Not to mention that Nancy is a no-nonsense kind of player, if the answer is "No" the answer is "No" to her and that's the end of it. She is reasonable, which I appreciate...but if the client throws a fit, her hands are going to be tied and she may not be able to do anything about it.

I call this the "Don't Ask, Don't Take PTO Policy" wherein I have PTO, but am not really encouraged to take it or allowed to use it. I get the idea that vacations must be planned in advance and all bases covered, historically I've been very responsible about this (I've only take one week long vacation in the 2 years I've been here) and am always sure to wrap up any loose ends...but dang, at what point does this become unfair to me and inappropriate of the client?

So, I'm feeling a little cranky at the moment...I'd rather be with my kitty.