Monday Creeps

There is a song by Massive Attack entitled "Inertia Creeps." The mood of that song is my general mood today, sort of funky and bluesy but not sad or down - just sort of in between it all.

This weekend I spent too much time on the couch, in which Max promptly called me out on that. I told him he might understand more when he's grown and has a job, family and house of his own. That mostly just made him mad, like I'd some how disrespected him by pointing out the facts. I had a rough week last week, I didn't feel the need to explain that to him or anyone else. Sometimes, I just want to lay on the couch, watch chick movies and take naps. What's the big deal?

Chance worked on his first photographic project all weekend and his pictures turned out amazing. I'll post them on the SnapFish account for your viewing pleasure. We did a lot of brainstorming and he seemed to go out of his way to include me. He was also being extra attentive, sweet, courteous and gentle this past weekend. Perhaps we made an unspoken pact to just be a whole lot nicer to each other and see how that works out? In reflection, I am laughing at this because it seems quite simple but sometimes, it is not just that simple. Chance is a good egg, and I am a good Mango...no one ever said this would be easy right? Someone told me recently it was harder sometimes to stay together than walk away...I think she's right. Not in terms of commitments, but in terms of living life day to day...dealing with it all, allowing yourself to be happy and fulfilled by it all.

Kasha has fully acclimated to her new surroundings and has no qualms about making it perfectly clear that this is her house and she should be the one in control at all times. Her love for Chance is only exceeded by her instinctual need to try and eat the hamster if given an opportunity to get within a foot of it. Anyone want a hamster? I feel bad for him, I am rather fond of him but we simply cannot have him in the same room with her or her tunnel vision kicks in. Note to self: Next time you bring an animal home, think of what it's instincts truly are. Jack Russel Terriers are bred to hunt small rodents. Mr. Wiggles is a small rodent. Obviously I've erred on this one. Ah well, Mr. Wiggles is generally happy just running on his wheel and stuffing his cheeks full of whatever is available. Not a very complicated life.

I am happy to report that since Jan 2 2007 I've lost 5 lbs total. This may not seem like very much, but it's a big deal to me. The reason for this is because I don't feel like I am on a diet and THAT is a fantastic thing to me. Granted, I must carefully read and reread every ingredient of almost everything I put into my mouth, much like many of the past diets I've attempted. Luckily, this feels more like a lifestyle change and THAT in and of itself is the best part of all of it. Not a diet, I am basically having to learn how to eat again. Being a vegetarian off and on most of my life gives me an edge here so I am grateful for that, but it's still a huge step. I feel so much better, attitude and energy increase every single day. Next is getting my 30 - 60 mins a day of exercise, that has been a bit of a challenge. Not sure why, probably b/c I've gotten lazy and love to claim "I don't have the time" even though I really need to figure out a way to "have the time" or else I'll keep shaving years off of my life. Which is totally not in accord with what I am hoping to achieve by changing my eating habits. All I can say is thank the good green Mother Earth for all the plentiful opportunities given to us to be healthy, let it shine unto me and let me be thankful in my acceptance.

Birthdays coming up. Matty and I. Happy Birthday Bratty Matty! I am having a get together lunch with a few family and friends at PFChangs (Yum!) and later that evening Matt, Helen, Chance and myself will probably hit a local bar for a night out. I'm not quite sure where yet, my problem is that loud, obnoxious and pretentious club environments are no longer interesting to me. It's all so fake...not to mention overpriced. So, we'll see...but a night out is long over due for this Mango...it's been MONTHS!

I should be wrapping up, I have a rather busy week ahead of me at work (and at home) if I wish to spend my Birthday weekend doing as I please. I know it's selfish, but hey....I'm learning that 'selfish' is not the same as 'doing things for myself'

peace