Oatmeal With A Fork?

Sans Friday evening with my girls, which was a blast, this has not been the best of weekends. Actually, mostly just Sunday was upsetting and frustrating. Because I got absolutely nothing done on Saturday, I spent my Sunday morning working. Doing dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping and trying to get some level of organization back. Our house is small, one little thing out of place makes the whole house look like a disaster. This made me grumpy, I wanted to sleep. I wanted to lay in bed with CMan and snuggle. No dice.

My Grandma Barbie (Mom's Mom) is in the hospital. Has had surgery to implant a pace maker and her body is rejecting it. She spent a full year getting off of the Morphine she's been taking for chronic, debilitating arthritis which she's suffered from since her early 20's and they pumped her full of it again yesterday after the surgery. I could just strangle that doctor, what an insensitive jerk. She didn't even have the option to protest and was not given an option otherwise. He has no idea what she has been through in terms of withdrawal with this drug, everyone knows how addictive it. She is not doing well, they had to reinsert her chest tube twice (cringe) as they are trying to open up the air waves to her lungs. The pacemaker is squishing her lungs basically and since her body is rejecting it as well, her lungs need all the air they can get. I really don't know how to feel right now, neither does my Mom. What do we do? The idea of my Grandfather having to go through this on his own (no immediate family there) and the image of my Grandmother laying in that hospital bed alone is unbearable. They live in Tennessee, Mom and I already talked about going if the need arises. My job will understand, I have to be there for them if necessary. All we can do now is wait and that's the worst.

CMan and I had an ugly fight last night. I am hurt and frustrated. Besides my child, he is the closest person to me. He is my best friend and when we are hurtful to one another it resonates to the very core of my being. I said mean things, so did he. He was grumpy all day yesterday and I know he is upset about something. But he is choosing not to share with me, this hurts me, though he keeps insisting it has nothing to do with me. Maybe not, but it still hurts that I am being excluded from whatever it is that's going on internally, yet feeling all of the impact externally. I understand the need for space and gladly give it to him as we are both very independent individuals and need a lot of personal space, but this isn't about space.....sigh....I love him, he'd better know that and not be sitting at work fuming, which he probably is. He is upset about our fight, he is probably as sad as I am about it.

I am sad today. And now I am eating oatmeal with a fork cuz I don't have a spoon. Where's a spork when you need one? Can I get a spork over here????

The good news is that Max is home and I am so grateful to see his sweet smile and get some of that warm 12 year old kid hug love:) He is such an outstand person, he truly is. The other good news is that two of my girls are about to mommies for the first time, I am thrilled. I can't wait for these babies...both are due this week, so expect to hear more details on that. I cannot wait to have those little ones in my arms.

Spork?