Star Dust

Yes, boys and girls the wondrous day has arrived and little baby Evan Cain Mundt was born at 1:55 PM, Saturday, August 6th 2005 to Justin & Colleen Mundt, proud parents of the a most precious little pink bundle of sweetness.

Here's a little detail:
Momma was due August 5th. Momma went into labor about 10ish Friday night (August 5th) and went to the hospital about 3 AM Saturday morning (August 6th) after her water broke on the potty, for any of you WHO don't realize the truly magnificent aspect of this little detail, just take heart in knowing that this is a miracle and a very lucky one at that. I am sure she doesn't want me sharing this with the world, but I couldn't help it. Pretty lucky for her and Dad! Anyway, Momma and Poppa made their way to the hospital (which is gorgeous BTW and totally state of the art) and she went into hard labor about 11:30 and the little dude was right on time at 1:55 PM! It sounds like Colleen did great and had a bit of a hard time during part of the delivery, but over all did wonderfully. I am not surprised, she is a steadfast one if I say so myself, ornery as hell but damit if she doesn't put it down when necessary. This child is going be VERY clear about where his boundaries are;)

I went to the hospital about 4PM, imagine...holding a 2 hour old infant! Astonishing. Certainly, I've held my share of infants (Max was defiantly the pinkest and cutest with his big ole blue eyes staring me down) but each and every time I get one of those little souls in my arms I am completely shocked at how EVERY SINGLE time I see a brand new baby I am overcome by the experience. The tiny little everything, the eyes registering the light and detail, the squeals and squeaks, the warmth of their little swaddled bodies, the very newness of their existence. It's so overwhelming, it's like you have the answer to every quandary and conundrum in your very hands and it comes from the body of The Goddess Mother. 'We are all made of the same stuff, star dust.' I don't remember who said it, but it was a quote used during a Planetarium show we attended a few months ago. Breathing in this new little life form reminded me of that quote, he is made of the same stuff as I am and that you are, we all have the answers within us and we all come from the same place, made of the same stuff. I saw The Goddess Creator that was Colleen in that moment, I saw her often very stern and determined face soften considerably and the brightness of her eyes in holding her baby. Mother and child, bonding, staring at one another, learning every intricate detail of one another. I saw Love and how it moved me, Love in it's most complete and purest form.

As always, the birth of a new baby also brings my experiences with Little Man to the surface. That in spite of great adversity, this child came to be and we flourished. Maybe I will pull together the entire story some day, it would likely be a painful but rewarding endeavor, but there is one detail that stands out to me when I think of my child's birth. I became very ill after having Max, within hours I had a temperature exceeding 103 and was basically delirious from pain and medications. It turned out to be a Staph infection. I remember the hospital staff taking Max to clean him up after I had a moment with him, then a very fuzzy flash forward to trying to see him in the nursery and the nurse escorting me back to my room because I was in no condition to stand. I remember being very upset, I wanted to see him so badly. The nurse said she'd bring him to our room. Flash forward to the next morning, I woke up and was in such pain, my body felt like it has been split open and everything in my middle section felt like it was on fire. My body knew that something was missing and some thing about that was very unnerving. I was laying on the hospital bed, IV's and fluids pumping through me. I was laying on my side, something like a fetal position and I opened my eyes. I opened my eyes to these two enormous brilliant blue eyes just gazing at me, we stared at each other for a very long time. It seemed like hours, it may have been. I don't know. Neither of us moved or motioned, just stared. I believe in that moment Max and I had some sort of telepathic experience, even if only in a very core manner. The intensity of that experience and his sweet sweet eyes are very strong memories, ones that are so completely engrained my mind, carthedic in nature. I had no idea at all, what this child would bring to my life. Not a clue, in any way could I even begin to comprehend.

And then I think of the challenges this new Momma and Poppa are facing. I am so proud of both of them and my heart swells with adoration as they face the challenges and embracing the gift. Parenting is confusing stuff, it has moments that are so trying it's a wonder people continue to populate and submit themselves to that insanity, but it's all the other moments when you see the Universe in your child's eyes and are completely soothed by their laughter and want nothing but to dry the tears and comfort their sadness. When you think of it like that, it's no wonder at all. The financial struggles, the moments of utter frustration, the days when you want to pull your hair out, it is all very real, but I have a faith in these two and their abilities to love this child. Kids that are loved grow up to give love and succeed, they have a head start, Justin & Colleen are giving him that head start just by being the wonderful people that they are. All children deserve this 'head start', I wish there were more I could do to see that each and every one of them have it.

And I think of Colleen and wonder what shifts will occur in her spirit as this child grows and her inner Momma Bear grows as well. Motherhood has a way of changing a girl, I am always fascinated by the transition, however subtle. I suspect Justin's colors will also transform and change with this experience, I believe they will be fantastic parents. I think of me and wonder if I will be sane after Max's teen years. I think I don't want to think about it right now:)

And I think of how all Women are The Goddess Creator, physical birth does not define this. Our wombs and warm hearts make us Mothers. Our spirits and ability to nurture and give make us Mothers. Our gorgeous bodies, designed to not only give and sustain life, but equally designed to give and sustain great pleasure and knowledge, this makes us Mothers. And Creators. And Goddesses.

'We are all made of the same stuff, star dust.'