Yes and at Warp Speed Lil' Captain.
The Little Man started Junior High today. I am anxious and a little nervous, but equally excited for him and eager for this to be a positive educational experience. I can't imagine how he must be feeling. He's been bouncing around the house all weekend, seemingly calm and collected about the whole thing but I know he's feeling a little antsy at least. I think the new cell phone, clothes he picked out and hair cut pushed the confidence factor up a bit, that's always a bonus.
He seemed so small getting out of the car with that huge back pack full of books and loose leaf paper and 24 #2 pencils. I keep thinking of lockers and PE, and how many more kids there seems to be and the work load. I am a touch worried about the demands of his class schedule and am hoping it will be managable for him, I remember being overwhelemed by Junior High in those first few days, but it doesn't take long to acclimate. I wish to ease that sense of being overwhelmed, clearly identify the expectations in terms of performance and give him the appropriate freedoms to enjoy the onset of young adulthood.
The Little Man is an exceptional child, he continues to shock and astound me with his natural sense of compassion and humor. As he ages I expect he will turn more inward and move through the motions of self-exploration that occurr during the teen years, I hope that in that process he will maintain his warm heart and sensetive mind and find his own balance in how he will approach life.
My heart sheds tears in reflection of the years that have past and cannot be recaptured, when he would jump into my lap and still loved to snuggle. The time we spent gazing at one antoher when he was born and his first trip to the park where he could crawl on the grass and then tried to eat it. The years in which we spent many hours bonding, reading together and walking through the wilderness. The moments when I needed him just as much as he needed me and the comfort we provided one another during the hard times, even if he didn't know they were 'hard' times. I hope not. I am allowed to have a selfish moment and let the tears flow for the memories, I am a mother and mothers feel for their children in a manner that a word like 'love' cannot truly capture.
My heart rejoices as I bear witness to his metamorphasis. His mind is keen and open, his spirit is curious and wild, his body healthy and strong, his heart full of empathy and determination. He seems to change almost daily, bigger feet and squeaky voices. Much like a baby learning to crawl and then walk, he is growing into his physical self and experimenting and testing it as he catches up with his own body. He eats and sleeps more and more. He is becoming a Little Man at lightening speed, it's really quite amazing. He makes me laugh alot, I think he enjoys making others laugh. I think he likes to be helpful and busy with his hands. Quite outstanding.
I cannot know what is it come for the Little Man, but we are fortunate in the discovery of his personal experience together.
I am very quickly learning to be happy and content in hanging out on the sidelines until he needs me and letting him play the field. As nature would dictate I suppose, I am learning to breathe and trust in his ability. It requires a lot of silent worry and biting of the tongue. This is the Mother's Mantra I suppose.
Best of luck on your first day of Junior High Maxter and don't worry, everyone else there is new to. You'll find your classes ok. Don't fret, just run and be free and take the opportunity to learn while you are young and your mind absorbs everything. Stay safe and be patient with others. I love you Little Man, you are a blessing and I got your back always, no matter what.
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