What I Learned This Week

What I learned This Week

· There really is no excuse for being impatient and/or short with others just because you are having a particularly foul moment. Sincere apologies and a very real effort to avoid reactionary behaviors is the only option. Being hurtful, disrespectful or sarcastic is not a behavior I wish to propagate.

· Genuine interactions with everyone in ones life goes a long way. A simple and real “Thank You” or “I Understand” may be all it takes to make another persons day, in turn, I have found that an authentic compliment or warm hug from another is all it takes to make my own.

· Reminiscing on your experiences and what you’ve learned from those who have profoundly touched your life and making time when you can for those who have influenced you and that you love is important, it speaks volumes. It says to that person, “I value you, I appreciate you and I am thankful for your presence in my life.” We all need to know that about our relationships with others at least some of the time.

· You don’t have to be 100% present in the lives of others to share in their experiences and to let them know that they live in your heart with every moment.

· An image of a woman who has become a dear friend to me sleeping with her newborn son brings such complete warmth and love to my spirit that I am overcome. The beauty of that moment captured portrays the very gift of the journey they are about to embark upon together, not only as Mother and Son, but also as a bonded unit in the face of the world.

· While mundane and excruciatingly boring and obnoxious some days, domestic chores are a necessary element in daily life. I am slow to accept that the dishes must be done every day, that the laundry will pile up and require washing again once again and that tidiness is a fundamental aspect of organization that must exist in order to function. This is not only a minor irritation, it so completely boggles me that I must submit my energy and time to this ridiculousness when I’d much rather be writing in my blogg or journal or playing outside. The feminist voice in my head screams at the idea that no matter how far the concept of what women personify in our very existence, it falls on us to create a home and maintain a household, even when working a full time job. Then I look at the opportunities I have, the love and color of my environment and realize that much of it is what I create and that if I wish for it be, I must make it so. I really have no room to whine or complain, life has been good to me and when I consider what it is that I give out to the Universe and the grandness of what it gives to me, I hardly feel I can get snippy about scrubbing the bath tub or picking up socks. Not to mention it is a gentle lesson in humbleness, I certainly am above no other and what makes me so special that I should not be subject to such things? Nothing. I could be working in a Brothel of the Red Light District of Calcutta, or forced into submission because I was born into culture that says it is so. This is not to say that I do not respect other cultures and belief systems, it is not for me to judge, only to reflect on and know that when I wake up in the morning, my life is not a struggle to simply exist or feed my child. So I will continue perform these duties with love in my heart and a smile on my face.

· Formal education does not begin in Kindergarten or end upon the completion of a University degree. It is a life long process and requires ongoing effort. If I am to further my career and excel in who I am, it is my responsibility to pursue additional skills and information out side of my existing knowledge base. Formal education is not the basis of who I am, nor do I praise it as being the be all-end all to an educated mind, I do not choose it because it is expected of me or because it is a trophy of ones achievements. But it is a tool and it is something I have the opportunity to explore. I must do so, much as I see others in my immediate surroundings do so. I am proud of them and eager to see the fruits of their labors as the years pass.

· Engaging a soon to be 13 year old boy in every argument, power struggle or clash of wills that presents itself in any given day is hardly something worth expending one’s energy on. Nor is it healthy for either one of us. Besides, I will not “win”, it’s not about winning. My stubbornness does not need to supercede his need to grow. He has to know what it is to succeed and make his own choices out side of me and my opinion. He has to know WHO he is out side of me. I cannot control his growth, experiences, nature or choices. I can only guide and be there when he thrives and when he falls down. I must trust in who he is and who I am and know that his own voyage is only beginning and I cannot protect him from it or inflict my irrational fears on him. This is a hard lesson, I want so badly to protect him and know that he is safe. I feel selfish in it. That selfishness is not going to propagate his success, only push him into a very unhealthy cycle. Walking outside of my own selfish need for this child is my only option as an individual and as his mother.

· The individuals in my life are so totally outstanding in there very being that I often marvel at their ability to just be who they are. I love them all with such fever that I can hardly express it with words. We are all so fortunate, in our encounters with one another.

· Worry about much of anything is completely useless. Holding anxiety internally does not change something that may or may not be. I have the ability to change some things, but not all things. Even if I could, what would I do with it and would I want to? That is doubtful. Really. It is not how the cycle is intended to work. If I truly believe that you create your own existence, I must live this in my thought and heart songs without making attempts to control the minutia. I have made remarkable strides in doing so, but am still fighting a beast that was born before I was. The negativity that is anxiety and worry is not something I choose.

· Somewhere along the line the idea that I am unworthy, that others are peering down their noses at me and that I am a lesser being wormed it’s way into my thought process. I could easily name the sources and lay all sorts of blame, but know that ultimately, it is my choice to perceive myself in this manner. This, in itself, creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have let go and healed through of much of the rage and pain that once existed in my spirit, but it I know my ability to envision myself, as a lovable, capable and unique individual is not something that comes naturally. Again, a self-fulfilling prophecy. Gaining this does not come from external realms; no matter how much I am loved, nurtured and cared for the change begins with me. It is a change I strive for.

· When my body speaks to me, I must listen. This is not rocket science. If my tummy tells me I am full, I no longer need to eat. If my internal clocks says I am tired, it is time to sleep. If my ankles cry out to be stretched and back aches from sitting in cube-hell all day long, perhaps some Yoga is in order. If my mind speaks of solitude and nurturing of my spirit, I cannot feel guilty for doing so or wonder if others in my life will abandon me or feel anger toward me for caring for myself. If my soul begs for nutriment, I must willingly yield to that need. I’ve spent a lot of my life seeking instant gratification of mental, spiritual and physical well being. It cannot be gained from food, or sex, or alcohol or drugs or because I read a book. It is a combination of internal dialogue and thought, openly giving and receiving love, practicing the teachings of my belief systems, physical exploration of my body and nature and supplying myself the nutritional foundation to do partake in all of these activities. It’s so easy to identify the fundamentals here, but much more difficult to practice.

· Stereotypes are ugly, ugly notions. For every label we put on one another, one is being forced unto us and this pattern of judgment upon one another is so completely horrible and hostile to me. From a sociological aspect, stereotypes exist to identify how we participate in society and what each of our perceived “roles” are. These identified “roles” are also designed to not only group us into classes of some sort BUT also segregate us from one another in the process. Be it as it may, I am a firm believer in many Sociological ideologies and principals in many ways as it addresses the world society at large on a macro level and this is critical in the very fact that we cohabitate with millions of people and the science of this is fascinating. Not to mention the spiritual implications of macro level thought and how it pertains to all of us in its process. We are all but busy bee’s in the grander hive. Many see this as cold and or callous. I don’t think so. It is reality. At least to me. But the practice of purely Sociological thought does not account for individuality, unique thought or the sacred entities that exist within each and every one of us. I am shocked at how quickly I see people cast a stereotype unto one another. Fat, skinny. Ugly, gorgeous. Intelligent, stupid. Silly, elegant. Promiscuous, chaste. Black, brown, yellow, white. Wealthy, middle class, poor white trash, redneck. Straight, bi-sexual, fag, dyke. Social drinker, alcoholic. Casual drug user, drug addict. Homeless. Republican, Democrat, Libertain, Green Party. Horrifying or not, our culture openly and willingly jokes about these labels and for whatever reason, take great satisfaction and pleasure in calling each other names. But we all identify with this game playing because stereotypes call to all of us, whether we engage in it willingly or not. It is forced upon us. A word is taken and applied it to an aspect of our personality, physical being, lifestyle choices or even worse, some aspect of who and/or what we were born to be and then mocked quaintly to the rest of the world. What do we do about it? If we even care enough to notice? I know to many this may sound overly idealistic or impossible or even impractical, but I can’t help but feel that much of the hate and frustrations built into a burning fire in our culture would subside to some degree if we all took a second look at one another and moved past the images created and fed to us from external sources. It starts with us. It is up to us to remember the uniqueness and value of all and not give into the stereotypes.

I guess I didn’t learn this all on one week, but this is my week in a nutshell.