Weekly Update

Hmm hmm, let’s see where to begin. I’ll skip the 5+ days I spent with what I now suspect to be the flu b/c it involves a lot of unplesasantness and besides, it is behind me now so who cares? Let’s just say this: I lost 5 lbs, Dave and I bonded over the great almighty porcelean god and questions about whether it was food poisoning aside, I will never eat at a certain salad buffet chain again. Blech.

Spring is most definitely in the air in Colorado. After a few mentionable snow storms in March, April promises to be a glorious example of the beauty that is the cyciclical rebirth of Spring. We could, in theory, still get a ton of snow in April…it’s been known to happen. I remember one in particular, on my mom’s birthday about 5 years ago that snowed us all in (literally) for about 3 days. So it does happen. It is, however, unlikely and even if we do get any snow it will be welcomed (by me at least) because not only does it help to keep this arid climate a bit moister, but it also melts within 24 to 48 hours of the storm b/c it’s rarely cold enough to stick around for long.

Side rant: I don’t understand people who moved to Colorado or choose to live here that bitch about the snow. Its Colorado people, it SNOWS here. Every year, at least 4-5 months out of the year, on average 65+ inces and it is critical to our eco-system. We are already being swallowed by the dessert slowly but surely, if I were these people, I wouldn’t be in to big a hurry to see the snow come to an end. Not to mention the ski dollars that flood our state. Besides, in between the snow it’s typically very mild and I’m sorry, but the occasional inconvenience is totally worth how absolutely wonderous a snow storm is. I’d challenge these people to live in Wisconsin for a winter. Get over it whiners! Suck it up.

Anyway…yes Spring is officially here and it always brings with it such a notable shift in mood it’s hard to ignore. Maybe it’s the playing in my garden (I already have a slew of determined wildflowers poking there ways out of the soil) or it being sunnier later at night so I have more time to walk Bailey or the sitting on the back patio with Dave, sipping wine and bbq-ing food (that’s on the docket for this weekend) or the warmer weather allowing the windows to be open and airing out the house. Mostly, I think it’s the growing stuff. I am all sorts of green-thumbed orientated these days (perhaps it has a little something to do with Farmville, which I am thoroughly hooked on thanks to Paula and my mother) and have all kinds of idea’s about what to grow and there actual for-sight to begin planting seeds now. I am working on an herb garden in 2 containers and will most likely do a few upside down tomato/strawberry plants and if I get real ambitious, I might try to a container full of peppers. The other big project is getting grass to grow consistentily in the back yard. My back yard is enormous, it needs a lot of love but right now I just want to get the grass growing and the lilac bushes in a manageable state. I need some more basic gardening tools, specificially a good pair of clippers, something with an extendable handle will be in order for the lilacs, they are enormous. I have most everything else, though I would like one of those little foam things you kneel on, my knee’s get wrecked after a few hours of kneeling. I also need new gloves, mine from last year are absolutely worthless at this point, there’s a huge hole in the thumb so dirt gets in anyway…what’s the point? Other than of course the fact they have little lady bugs on them and they are adorable. Oh that’s another thing, we have to spray for the wiggy wiggy bugs ASAP. My house was practically infested with ear-wigs (pincerbugs) and of ALL the bugs in the world…this just so happens to be the kind I have a serious aversion to. I won’t be dealing with them in droves again this year, it’s not an option. Neither is the spider problem…that has to be addressed as well, and soon. It was 78 degrees out today, perfect weather for those little buggers and their larvae. Luckily, I got over my whole “oh they are living things and we shouldn’t ever kill a living thing” issue from last Spring. After spending a summer with those little wiggy wiggy bastards literally swarming my kitchen and the suspected brown recluse bite, it’s every man for himself. I highly doubt there is a lack of pincer bugs in the world, based on what I saw last year so I have no qualms whatsoever. As for the spiders, well…I do kinda feel bad about those guys b/c they are really a functional aspect of any good home, they eat all kinds of bugs and it all works out nicely. But when the spider is a real bad ass like a brown recluse or a black widow, it’s time to act. Sorry fella’s (or in the black widow’s case, ladies) but I’d rather avoid an ER visit or a poisoned pet or worse….god, there are a zillion children in my neighborhood and both of my immediate neighbors have very young children, I’d better do my part in protecting them and myself. And Bailey!

Spring and all of its perks really are on the forefront of my mind these days. At work, in between the fires, I daydream about playing in the dirt and helping things to grow. The moist cool soil in between my fingers, the sound of the kids playing on the play ground, Bailey “helping” and watching it all slowly poke up out of the dirt and grow into something colorful and bright and vivid and pleasurable to the many senses. Purrrrr.

I day dream a lot at work lately I’ve found. Maybe it’s b/c Nancy announced last week that she’ll no longer be managing my team and she’ll soon be replaced by someone who is to be her “clone” – which is a totally ridiculous idea. That anyone could fill her shoes, but whatever….it’s a good business move and technically, it’s a promotion for her and it’s not like she’ll be that far away and blah blah blah…all that political correctness aside, I think it sucks big bug butt! I feel totally abandoned, I am having a lot of anxiety about what this means for the team and I know I’m not the only one that is so fiercely loyal to Nancy that it’s difficult to even fathom being managed by someone and then I had the MOTHER of all “this sucks” epiphanies…what if the new manager is a man. Oh dear GOD. It’s very likely, she’s the only female manager out of the 10 or so at our location and she kicks ass at it, but there aren’t that many Nancy’s just laying around you know. Crap. Then I soothed myself by considering that Nancy will be a key factor in the hiring process and she’ll take care of us, she’ll make sure our needs are met b/c on top of having all of her wicked skills and experience, this person will have to embody a certain vibe to manage this motley crew of misfits. No doubt, it takes a “special” kind of manager to look after a group like us. I promised Nancy I would be nice, and I will. Scouts honor. Doesn’t’ mean I have to like it. Hurumph!

I also find myself lately having a really sour puss over the fact that I have all this new responsilibity and yet no one seems to really acknowledge that I’m doing development still AND all the build management, nor has anyone made mention of the fact that everyone now treats me like a manager but here it is, a month later and not a single word about whether my position will change officially OR if I will be compensated accordingly. This week in particular is rough b/c my co-worker R, whom I often work with closely on development projects because basically I back filled her position when they promoted her (5 years ago on March 14th) and I am slowly but surely working up to the same level she’s at in terms of development, is on vacation so I’m getting all of her development issues on top of my work which is fine except there have been 2 production hot fixes to manage in 2 days AND a boat load of issue management tasks to complete, not to mention I’m trying to get this data converted into the new issue management software but am bumping heads BIG time with our 24/7 guys about getting the correct plugins installed with I am totally capable of doing, but process says they are supposed to do it but they are dragging their feet on it big time so I feel a little stuck in the water and damn annoyed by it.

Shew.

That’s when I retreat internally and fantasize about my garden and bbq’s and playing with my puppy and watching the sun go down with the man while sipping wine….Calgon, take me away.

Max news? Not much, we don’t talk much about anything of substance. We talk, in the technical way, a few times a week…but mostly it’s just about this or that or not much of anything and I’ll take it. Makes sense, everyone is settled into their routines and kind of moving on with our lives. Funny how that happens huh? Either I am getting better at managing changes or it’s just what humans do, we go on. Plus, it be stupid of me not to enjoy this time…I feel a little like a kid just graduating high school or something. I want to play and travel and not be responsible for much of anything, I want to try new things and cook and dance and eat and be with the people I love but have time alone too. And I’m doing it. Some days, like last week, I was feeling a lot of resentment toward work and responsibilities, b/c I have this little squeaky wheel of a voice that says “Max is gone, you should do whatever you damn well want!” which if it were up to me, it would mean taking about a year off of being home with my puppy and playing in my garden and taking cooking and dance classes, focusing on my yoga and my body and sleeping. Resting. A lot. just ME ME ME ME….but guess what kids? Life doesn’t work that way. So, I just scowl at my job on those days and get through it and go home and spend my free time doing those things I mentioned and that feels just about perfect. It took me a while, but I’ve finally opened up to the fact that I am adult, for the first time ever, without a kid, happily involved with a great guy, with a decent job that affords me some small luxuries (like seeds and soil and dance classes) so why not just enjoy what you have and mold your life into what you want it to be and still go to work every day, like everyone else….(cuz I don’t want to be like everybody else?) and be happy with it. I’ll get there, some day. Who knows, maybe I should be carefull what I wish for.

Back to the grind cats and kittens, duty calls. More soon, love to you all.