Friday:
After several interesting phone calls, a lot of errands and at least two failed attempts to get my ass motivated enough to take the dog for a walk, I finally just gave up and started making dinner for Tammy. She showed up about 4:15 and we got to chatting, eating and hair cutting! Almost 6 inches of those long blonde locks ended up on the floor that night and while I'm still adjusting and it is shorter than I'd plan to go, it is totally liberating. Sort of like shedding skin. Metamorphosis. Like sunflowers and butterfly's:)
Update:
My Aunty made me post some pics, this is the best I can do at the moment with my camera phone, at work in the bathroom so my coworkers don't have funny thoughts about me.....
Saturday:
Ran errands all morning with Max. Correction, chauffeured Max around all morning to and fro all over town. After all that hubbubb, we spent the remainder of the day at Kristen's. First working on her resume. That was pretty fun actually, I was happy to help remind her of what a valuable individual she is. "Rock Band" became to distracting and we played for 5 straight hours! I foresee this game being in most homes across the states with families, it is a blast to play with others and addictive in the way that only a video game can be. It's not simple either, it's an actual game that requires a certain level of commitment when you start it to actually complete the levels. Kristen played guitar, Max was on drums and I sang. I now know why vocalists loose their voices often and have to take great care with them. 5 hours of belting out tunes pretty much wiped me out. Max was impressive on those drums, he may very well need his own kit. I may consider it for his bday this next year. Matt & Helen came over after and we spent a pretty mellow night just chillin' after all that.
Sunday:
Up bright and early to meet up with Helen's folks for the Christmas Town event in Georgetown. Our first year, a lot of fun! Sans the frigid temperatures and strong winds, it's something I'd like to do again next year with Max. Helen's family is very sweet, just good people and you can't deny that when you engage with people on that level. The interaction between her father and his family was quite moving for me, he has a smile that lights up a room, is soft spoken and clearly is a gentle man. Sometimes the sadness of not having had a father of my own to love me in that way is quite overpowering. I sometimes wonder what I might be like now if I'd had a kind and compassionate man to guide me through this life and help to shape my views on men and love. How I may be a different person and who she might be? I learned long ago that wondering about the past is mostly futile, rather I'd expend my energy in the direction of healing from the voids than focusing on them. What I can take from the interactions I see between fathers like Charlie and their children is the love that radiates from that and the incredible happiness I feel for the kids out there who are loved and cared for so deeply by their fathers. And mothers. Children are such a blessing, they deserve all the light life can offer them.
Speaking of blessings, my own son and I have been nit picking with one another off an on a lot lately. Last night however, he seemed more interested in snuggling and eating candy then bickering with me. Ah the gift of quiet time with your only child. We both fell asleep for a few hours as we were extremely physically drained from the day, with Kasha in between and our favorite warm blanket, it was a lovely nap. To which we were awoken to the bang bang bang of a distinct knock at the door. The "cop" knock is what most of you will know it as, the one where they bang on the door with their flashlight. The kind that will startle you right out of your skin if it is silent in your house. I went to investigate, only to not find an actual police officer (of which I've had my share recently) but rather a tall (and good looking) man at my door with a tow truck idling loudly in front of me house. Looking for you know who of course. I explained (again) the situation. In an obviously irritated voice, I asked this guy why he needed yet another explanation of this situation as I've given at least 7 different people the same information and back ground scenario many times that I may cough up hairballs if I have to go over it one more single time. He didn't have a good answer for me. I question just how coordinated this effort is, but it is out of my hands and I am so over it. Ready to move on. The tall, cute repo dude handed me a card and made me promise to give him a call if I heard anything he gracefully excused himself and bid me a good night. Meanwhile, Max had been holding Kasha, who seemed threatened by the entire situation, and was standing behind me giving this poor guy the stink eye the whole time. Max is protective of his momma, that's for certain. He directly asked me the other day if you know who had ever laid a hand on me, I told him of course not. That while it IS true that Chance's behaviors resemble that of some alien form of slime, probably related to the bottom feeder, pond scum variety, but that he was never violent with me physically. And if he had ever been, he'd be rolling around on the cement of our front walk way in agony from the precise and effective groin kick I'd deliver the moment he touched me in that way and begging me to call off the troops once they arrived. That made Max laugh, which was kind of the goal. He needs to feel confident that I can take care of myself and would NEVER allow that sort of thing, but I wondered what prompted that question from him. It seemed to take a lot of energy for him to even pose the question. How I'd wish to spare him from these kinds of drama's so young, somehow I thought I'd make better decisions than these and might be able to protect him. My hope is that it will help him to realize that life simply doesn't allow for utter and complete irresponsibility, that you ARE accountable for your actions and how they affect others. No matter how much I may try to convey to him this message in all my motherly glory, he is 15 after all and mostly thinks I'm completely full of it. Maybe from this he will have learned something valuable, at the very least he is learning about boundaries and limits. We are learning that one together I'm afraid.
Please take a moment to look through this site:
http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/planet.in.peril/
While I'm generally unimpressed with CCN as it reeks of Fox-Lite, I was pleased to see this program last night on The Animal Planet. It's painful, to watch and absorb this information and we all know it's happening, but my hope is that the more infromation that is shared with the masses, that maybe it is possible for a difference to be made. I have a strong urges often to quite my job, sell everything and join Green Peace or the Peace Corps so I can stop feeling like so helpless. I know though, that first I must raise my own son and start with the changes at home while trying to affect change globally. Some how. I don't know how yet, I struggle with it b/c it never feels like enough. Anyway, please see the above mentioned link and consider the ways in which we can all commit our internal environmentalists and animal rights activists to something greater than ourselves.
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