Worn Out

We ran into a slight snafu Monday night when we the entire septic system backed up in my bathroom because we flushed the toilet and had the washer going. What a mess. Plumbers came out yesterday and fixed it. Apparently there’s a trend of rentals that have been vacant for some time flooding as of late because they sit vacant for 3 or 6 months and with how arid it is in CO right now, everything dries out and settles. Then a new tenant moves in and starts using the hot water and what not and all that nastiness expands very rapidly and causes all kinds of problems. Plus, the plumber said that septic system probably hasn’t been snaked in at least 5 years. Ew.

But it’s over now and it all really turned out to be a blessing in disguise because since I had to stay home yesterday and deal with all of this madness and clean up after it as a result, I ended up getting quite a bit done around the house. The living room and office are at least functional now. As it his bathroom thank goodness. I got the kitchen put together Monday night before we discovered the flood in the bathroom, so things are moving along well.

Not surprisingly, I’m exhausted. My leg/ankle is letting me know it’s there, it’s swollen and sore. Iced it last night along with 3 ibuprofen, that helped a lot. Plus, I keep going at that bathroom with a bottle of bleach, I’m not even going to give any of that an opportunity to fester or mold.

We also did a little work on the lawn last night, started watering and raking. I feel bad for that grass, trying to so hard to survive. If our summer is anything like our winter, we are in for a long, hot and dry summer. I can’t stress again how concerned I am about the fire danger in CO. Probably because my mother has almost lost her house twice to forest fire and it’s pretty freaky stuff. We’ve already had like 3 fires in Boulder and surrounding area’s where it gets a lot of wind. This little girl knows better then to play with fire, it’s a delicate force. I hope my mountains make it through the summer unscorched.

Max is going to his Dad’s for Spring Break soon. Sean called last night. He makes me cringe, have I mentioned that? I’m like on instant alert second his presence is felt. Can anyone say post traumatic stress? Max and I had a heart to heart last week about some issues that have recently stemmed from his interactions with Sean. Max is forming his own idea’s about who his dad is and who I am as well. He’s at that age where parents start to become human and boy is he in for a shocker. I rmember that moment with my own mother, except I was well into my 20’s before I ever gave her an inch. At 16, I see some signs that Max gets it that parents are people too. Good stuff. Except, he’s not *quite* there yet. I am not sure what kind of feedback he gets from his father about me, but it’s quite clear that Max has some interesting idea’s about how child support works and how much money his father has given us. He also hasn’t quite put the facts together about timelines and that fact that has dad has mostly been absent up until recently and this isn’t ALL my doing. Max is trying not to pick sides, I can see that. But he sometimes feels the need to defend Sean and his choices. It’s very sad. Harder still is that more often then not, all his defenses and even attacks at times are all directly squarely in my direction. I realize this is natural, I’m his mom after all and I’ve been the solid for as long as he can remember. So it makes sense that he’ll lash out at me. He knows in his heart that I love him unconditionally. But I think he also feels a sense of alliance with his father when he defends Sean. As if it somehow unites them. Naturally, this tickles my sense of justice and momma bear protectiveness, but I am able to see that it will pass. Sean will only hurt himself in the long run by talking negatively about me to Max. My son is confused about many things as are to be expected for a child in his situation, this is tough stuff. But he is protective of his momma. It’s that whole idea of “I can talk as about much shit about my mom as I want, but when YOU do it, it’s really not ok.” I often wonder how Max would feel if he heard how Sean talks to me on the phone when he knows Max is out of earshot. It’s pretty shoddy to say the least. I’ll leave it alone, but I do wonder sometimes because I get the sense that it might give Max insights into his father that he doesn’t know. But I would never do it of course because Max needs to make his own decisions about his dad, he doesn’t need my help. I have a completely biased opinion of Sean; Max never needs to know why. It’s best I just stay out of it and give them all the space they need to figure out their relationship. It’s not easy. At all. I’m already feeling some panic about taking Max to WY and leaving him there. There is a lot of deep breathing going on regarding the whole subject, but I know it’s all going to be ok in the end. I just wish Sean at 40 years old could act as maturely as his own 16 year old son. Sigh.

Well, I should get to work I suppose. We have a luncheon at Zen Café today which is DA BOMB so I’m looking forward to that. They have pretty decent sushi so I’ll be all over that for sure. Tonight when I get home I really need to work on my room so I can get up in the morning and not bang into boxes. You should see the bruises; I look like a mi tai fighter kicked the crap out of me.