Monday, March 30, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
It's Fun To Ride The Waves, Especially The Really High Ones!
This weekend was incredible. I am at that fun part of moving where you get to start unpacking pictures and nick nacks and the little trinkets we surround ourselves for whatever reason. It’s amazing what you find that you’ve forgotten about, things that make you smile or bring back memories. And since we are mostly “functional” at this point (as in the kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms and main living area’s are mostly put together) I can slow it down a little and focus on arranging my home in a manner that suits me. The relief I feel about having found such a sweet little place to call home has given me a pretty big buzz at the moment. The Universe gave me so much to work with and so much opportunity in this situation that it’s hard not to feel overcome with gratitude. And something like victorious, in fact I’m achieving a series of minor victories as of late on many fronts and it’s pretty satisfying to feel the flutterings of confidence again. Right now, life has a new light about it. I find myself feeling less selfish for living for me; for making decisions for myself that are in my own best interest, in spite of what others might say or think. I am sure there is a balance I must strike here to avoid becoming self-absorbed and narcissistic (ugh, someone shake me if that comes about please) but at the moment I am exploring the days to days of making healthy decisions for myself, including how I interact with my own son. Even with him, I find myself putting down boundaries and making attempts to more effectively communicate with him. It seems to go a long way with him and in turn, comes back to me. Like all I things I suppose, someone recently said to me “I think the least amount of shit you’ll put with is what will come to you.” I see this as a very different thing then the concept of intolerance, to me this says “put out to Universe what your limits are as you discover them and they will be respected” or something along those lines.
Indeed, another great phase of introspection and personal development for this little duck. I keep trying ride the highs and just enjoy them, try to avoid creating unnecessary drama and take this as an opportunity to start anew. And what better timing with Spring and all? Wow, how lucky am I?
Indeed, another great phase of introspection and personal development for this little duck. I keep trying ride the highs and just enjoy them, try to avoid creating unnecessary drama and take this as an opportunity to start anew. And what better timing with Spring and all? Wow, how lucky am I?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Worn Out
We ran into a slight snafu Monday night when we the entire septic system backed up in my bathroom because we flushed the toilet and had the washer going. What a mess. Plumbers came out yesterday and fixed it. Apparently there’s a trend of rentals that have been vacant for some time flooding as of late because they sit vacant for 3 or 6 months and with how arid it is in CO right now, everything dries out and settles. Then a new tenant moves in and starts using the hot water and what not and all that nastiness expands very rapidly and causes all kinds of problems. Plus, the plumber said that septic system probably hasn’t been snaked in at least 5 years. Ew.
But it’s over now and it all really turned out to be a blessing in disguise because since I had to stay home yesterday and deal with all of this madness and clean up after it as a result, I ended up getting quite a bit done around the house. The living room and office are at least functional now. As it his bathroom thank goodness. I got the kitchen put together Monday night before we discovered the flood in the bathroom, so things are moving along well.
Not surprisingly, I’m exhausted. My leg/ankle is letting me know it’s there, it’s swollen and sore. Iced it last night along with 3 ibuprofen, that helped a lot. Plus, I keep going at that bathroom with a bottle of bleach, I’m not even going to give any of that an opportunity to fester or mold.
We also did a little work on the lawn last night, started watering and raking. I feel bad for that grass, trying to so hard to survive. If our summer is anything like our winter, we are in for a long, hot and dry summer. I can’t stress again how concerned I am about the fire danger in CO. Probably because my mother has almost lost her house twice to forest fire and it’s pretty freaky stuff. We’ve already had like 3 fires in Boulder and surrounding area’s where it gets a lot of wind. This little girl knows better then to play with fire, it’s a delicate force. I hope my mountains make it through the summer unscorched.
Max is going to his Dad’s for Spring Break soon. Sean called last night. He makes me cringe, have I mentioned that? I’m like on instant alert second his presence is felt. Can anyone say post traumatic stress? Max and I had a heart to heart last week about some issues that have recently stemmed from his interactions with Sean. Max is forming his own idea’s about who his dad is and who I am as well. He’s at that age where parents start to become human and boy is he in for a shocker. I rmember that moment with my own mother, except I was well into my 20’s before I ever gave her an inch. At 16, I see some signs that Max gets it that parents are people too. Good stuff. Except, he’s not *quite* there yet. I am not sure what kind of feedback he gets from his father about me, but it’s quite clear that Max has some interesting idea’s about how child support works and how much money his father has given us. He also hasn’t quite put the facts together about timelines and that fact that has dad has mostly been absent up until recently and this isn’t ALL my doing. Max is trying not to pick sides, I can see that. But he sometimes feels the need to defend Sean and his choices. It’s very sad. Harder still is that more often then not, all his defenses and even attacks at times are all directly squarely in my direction. I realize this is natural, I’m his mom after all and I’ve been the solid for as long as he can remember. So it makes sense that he’ll lash out at me. He knows in his heart that I love him unconditionally. But I think he also feels a sense of alliance with his father when he defends Sean. As if it somehow unites them. Naturally, this tickles my sense of justice and momma bear protectiveness, but I am able to see that it will pass. Sean will only hurt himself in the long run by talking negatively about me to Max. My son is confused about many things as are to be expected for a child in his situation, this is tough stuff. But he is protective of his momma. It’s that whole idea of “I can talk as about much shit about my mom as I want, but when YOU do it, it’s really not ok.” I often wonder how Max would feel if he heard how Sean talks to me on the phone when he knows Max is out of earshot. It’s pretty shoddy to say the least. I’ll leave it alone, but I do wonder sometimes because I get the sense that it might give Max insights into his father that he doesn’t know. But I would never do it of course because Max needs to make his own decisions about his dad, he doesn’t need my help. I have a completely biased opinion of Sean; Max never needs to know why. It’s best I just stay out of it and give them all the space they need to figure out their relationship. It’s not easy. At all. I’m already feeling some panic about taking Max to WY and leaving him there. There is a lot of deep breathing going on regarding the whole subject, but I know it’s all going to be ok in the end. I just wish Sean at 40 years old could act as maturely as his own 16 year old son. Sigh.
Well, I should get to work I suppose. We have a luncheon at Zen Café today which is DA BOMB so I’m looking forward to that. They have pretty decent sushi so I’ll be all over that for sure. Tonight when I get home I really need to work on my room so I can get up in the morning and not bang into boxes. You should see the bruises; I look like a mi tai fighter kicked the crap out of me.
But it’s over now and it all really turned out to be a blessing in disguise because since I had to stay home yesterday and deal with all of this madness and clean up after it as a result, I ended up getting quite a bit done around the house. The living room and office are at least functional now. As it his bathroom thank goodness. I got the kitchen put together Monday night before we discovered the flood in the bathroom, so things are moving along well.
Not surprisingly, I’m exhausted. My leg/ankle is letting me know it’s there, it’s swollen and sore. Iced it last night along with 3 ibuprofen, that helped a lot. Plus, I keep going at that bathroom with a bottle of bleach, I’m not even going to give any of that an opportunity to fester or mold.
We also did a little work on the lawn last night, started watering and raking. I feel bad for that grass, trying to so hard to survive. If our summer is anything like our winter, we are in for a long, hot and dry summer. I can’t stress again how concerned I am about the fire danger in CO. Probably because my mother has almost lost her house twice to forest fire and it’s pretty freaky stuff. We’ve already had like 3 fires in Boulder and surrounding area’s where it gets a lot of wind. This little girl knows better then to play with fire, it’s a delicate force. I hope my mountains make it through the summer unscorched.
Max is going to his Dad’s for Spring Break soon. Sean called last night. He makes me cringe, have I mentioned that? I’m like on instant alert second his presence is felt. Can anyone say post traumatic stress? Max and I had a heart to heart last week about some issues that have recently stemmed from his interactions with Sean. Max is forming his own idea’s about who his dad is and who I am as well. He’s at that age where parents start to become human and boy is he in for a shocker. I rmember that moment with my own mother, except I was well into my 20’s before I ever gave her an inch. At 16, I see some signs that Max gets it that parents are people too. Good stuff. Except, he’s not *quite* there yet. I am not sure what kind of feedback he gets from his father about me, but it’s quite clear that Max has some interesting idea’s about how child support works and how much money his father has given us. He also hasn’t quite put the facts together about timelines and that fact that has dad has mostly been absent up until recently and this isn’t ALL my doing. Max is trying not to pick sides, I can see that. But he sometimes feels the need to defend Sean and his choices. It’s very sad. Harder still is that more often then not, all his defenses and even attacks at times are all directly squarely in my direction. I realize this is natural, I’m his mom after all and I’ve been the solid for as long as he can remember. So it makes sense that he’ll lash out at me. He knows in his heart that I love him unconditionally. But I think he also feels a sense of alliance with his father when he defends Sean. As if it somehow unites them. Naturally, this tickles my sense of justice and momma bear protectiveness, but I am able to see that it will pass. Sean will only hurt himself in the long run by talking negatively about me to Max. My son is confused about many things as are to be expected for a child in his situation, this is tough stuff. But he is protective of his momma. It’s that whole idea of “I can talk as about much shit about my mom as I want, but when YOU do it, it’s really not ok.” I often wonder how Max would feel if he heard how Sean talks to me on the phone when he knows Max is out of earshot. It’s pretty shoddy to say the least. I’ll leave it alone, but I do wonder sometimes because I get the sense that it might give Max insights into his father that he doesn’t know. But I would never do it of course because Max needs to make his own decisions about his dad, he doesn’t need my help. I have a completely biased opinion of Sean; Max never needs to know why. It’s best I just stay out of it and give them all the space they need to figure out their relationship. It’s not easy. At all. I’m already feeling some panic about taking Max to WY and leaving him there. There is a lot of deep breathing going on regarding the whole subject, but I know it’s all going to be ok in the end. I just wish Sean at 40 years old could act as maturely as his own 16 year old son. Sigh.
Well, I should get to work I suppose. We have a luncheon at Zen Café today which is DA BOMB so I’m looking forward to that. They have pretty decent sushi so I’ll be all over that for sure. Tonight when I get home I really need to work on my room so I can get up in the morning and not bang into boxes. You should see the bruises; I look like a mi tai fighter kicked the crap out of me.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Sore, bruised, exhausted and lacking sleep....but Oh Happy Day!
I couldn’t have asked for a simpler move. Sans the Washer/Dryer drama which Rhy & Nick spent about 3 hours cussing, getting totally slimed with washer water and frustration beyond even both of their mad patience levels….it really went amazing. The bulk of the move took all of 3 hours, with four trucks and 8 people. Then some straggling items throughout the rest of the day, but for the most part it all went quite smoothly and though we are far from being settled in, we are at the very least, considered “moved.” Shew, I’m glad for it fo shizzle.
Max has been so helpful, I just don’t know what I’d have done without him. What a great kid he is, I’ll file this little nugget for the next visit to the principal’s office or ER
Pumpkin is fairing well with the move for the most part, she’s been through several moves in her 20 years on this planet, and surely she’s not new to this game. I am quite impressed other then how incredibly needy she is. If I’m sitting down anywhere in the house, she has to be on top of me. Drooling. It wearing a little thin on my own patience level at the moment, but I know it will pass with time. She really is a sweet old girl, I sure do love her.
Gaia on the other hand, is having a harder time with the transition. For one, she’s really unhappy about something in either my room or Max’s because she spends a lot of time snooping around back there. In fact, most of her time since we moved in. She also seems to require constant reassurance, she barks and mewls and is making more noise then I’ve heard from her in the past 4 years combined. Max and I figure she may not remember the last move as she was only a few months old and she’s gotten a little older and more set in her ways since then. She is clearly quite unsettled and I really feel for her as this must all be really traumatic. That said however, the humor of her behavior is not lost on anyone in the house. She walks around with her tail poofed up half the time for no apparent reason. The French doors in the back have become an area of great interest as she has the perfect view of the back yard and any critters that might wander through there. She also loves the front window sill and we’ve decided to get an “Attack Cat” sign as she is on high alert for any intruders or anything out of the ordinary. There are also A LOT of dogs and young children in this neighborhood. That’s going to be an adjustment but she really seems pretty pissed about the whole affair. The big joke is that perhaps Gaia see’s something supernatural in the house that us silly humans cannot and trying to warn us vehemently OR she really is just wigging out and big tough scary Gaia is a softie little kitten underneath all that growling and cussing and hissing. Poor thing, I suppose laughing her apparent sense of injustice over the whole situation isn’t very nice.
I have yet to sleep a solid night in the new house, but it’s only night 2 and I know me, it takes me a while to get settled whenever I move. I will say that I feel more comfortable in this house then I expected and nary was a tear shed in saying goodbye to the old place. I think I cried enough tears to fill a swimming pool about the whole situation long ago and once one accepts their fate, one can begin moving on. And I’ve been ready to move on for some time now, something about this move feels like an indicator on the scale of healing for which I am grateful. The new house certainly is a different environment. The building itself and all of its internal appliances are considerably older then my condo. The hardwood floors are going to be an adjustment and I haven’t quite figured out yet how we’ll manage a smaller fridge. But something about the simple and lived in feel this house has is appealing to me. It already feels like home, I love the back yard. I love the character of the place as a whole. I love all the wood and that we have an office now and that it’s an actual house, no shared walls and plenty of room around us. I am looking forward to meals on my back patio, planting vegetables in the back and flowers in the front. I can’t wait to have company and a bed to offer the various friends and family who make there way to or through Colorado in any given year. I don’t mind that the floors creak and that there is one bathroom and it’s small or that all the drains drain verrrrry slowly or that the dishwasher/washer/dryer set up were all obviously after thoughts in the over all kitchen design. Don’t really mind any of that because perhaps there is a part of me that feels good about these things being MY decisions. I feel slightly victorious that we found such a cool place to live and that I’ve come out of this thing finally on top. Not to mention that I can live with challenges when they are totally 100% my decisions and not decisions I felt forced into under duress and or stupid head. So I’ve been feeling a little braver and confident ever since we stepped into this house and for whatever reason that is, I’m running with it and there’s no need to shed tears over the past when I feel more able to embrace the future then I have in some time.
I did find myself crying though over how many people came to my rescue all in the name of pizza and beer. Truly, I was totally overcome with how many people offered to help and actually showed up. Even better, everyone got along very well and I felt a glimmer of true happiness witnessing the various groups of people in my life come together. I also came to the conclusion that I am quite literally surrounded by beautiful people in my social groups, we are all a bunch of hotties! I really don’t’ have the words right now to express how grateful I am for all of them and their help this weekend, including Max’s buddies who came to lend a hand. Everyone busted some serious ass getting this thing done and I appreciate that.
So in spite of the fact that all the dust being kicked up over the move has tickled my allergies a little, that I have bruises all over my legs and arms, that my upper body aches because it is normally lazy and how totally exhausted Max and I both are, we are in high spirits and life is good. I will post some picks after every room isn’t filled with boxes and I get to work on the gardening. I’m thinking we might grow some pumpkins behind the shed come Aug/September. Perfect spot for a little pumpkin patch back there. I’m also thinking that while I’m in no hurry for my own little Pumpkin to find her way to kitty heaven, that is when we will most likely begin thinking about dogs so it will be sometime before that happens unless two little Pugly Uglies just happen to fall in my lap somehow.
Happy Monday kids, love to you all!
Max has been so helpful, I just don’t know what I’d have done without him. What a great kid he is, I’ll file this little nugget for the next visit to the principal’s office or ER
Pumpkin is fairing well with the move for the most part, she’s been through several moves in her 20 years on this planet, and surely she’s not new to this game. I am quite impressed other then how incredibly needy she is. If I’m sitting down anywhere in the house, she has to be on top of me. Drooling. It wearing a little thin on my own patience level at the moment, but I know it will pass with time. She really is a sweet old girl, I sure do love her.
Gaia on the other hand, is having a harder time with the transition. For one, she’s really unhappy about something in either my room or Max’s because she spends a lot of time snooping around back there. In fact, most of her time since we moved in. She also seems to require constant reassurance, she barks and mewls and is making more noise then I’ve heard from her in the past 4 years combined. Max and I figure she may not remember the last move as she was only a few months old and she’s gotten a little older and more set in her ways since then. She is clearly quite unsettled and I really feel for her as this must all be really traumatic. That said however, the humor of her behavior is not lost on anyone in the house. She walks around with her tail poofed up half the time for no apparent reason. The French doors in the back have become an area of great interest as she has the perfect view of the back yard and any critters that might wander through there. She also loves the front window sill and we’ve decided to get an “Attack Cat” sign as she is on high alert for any intruders or anything out of the ordinary. There are also A LOT of dogs and young children in this neighborhood. That’s going to be an adjustment but she really seems pretty pissed about the whole affair. The big joke is that perhaps Gaia see’s something supernatural in the house that us silly humans cannot and trying to warn us vehemently OR she really is just wigging out and big tough scary Gaia is a softie little kitten underneath all that growling and cussing and hissing. Poor thing, I suppose laughing her apparent sense of injustice over the whole situation isn’t very nice.
I have yet to sleep a solid night in the new house, but it’s only night 2 and I know me, it takes me a while to get settled whenever I move. I will say that I feel more comfortable in this house then I expected and nary was a tear shed in saying goodbye to the old place. I think I cried enough tears to fill a swimming pool about the whole situation long ago and once one accepts their fate, one can begin moving on. And I’ve been ready to move on for some time now, something about this move feels like an indicator on the scale of healing for which I am grateful. The new house certainly is a different environment. The building itself and all of its internal appliances are considerably older then my condo. The hardwood floors are going to be an adjustment and I haven’t quite figured out yet how we’ll manage a smaller fridge. But something about the simple and lived in feel this house has is appealing to me. It already feels like home, I love the back yard. I love the character of the place as a whole. I love all the wood and that we have an office now and that it’s an actual house, no shared walls and plenty of room around us. I am looking forward to meals on my back patio, planting vegetables in the back and flowers in the front. I can’t wait to have company and a bed to offer the various friends and family who make there way to or through Colorado in any given year. I don’t mind that the floors creak and that there is one bathroom and it’s small or that all the drains drain verrrrry slowly or that the dishwasher/washer/dryer set up were all obviously after thoughts in the over all kitchen design. Don’t really mind any of that because perhaps there is a part of me that feels good about these things being MY decisions. I feel slightly victorious that we found such a cool place to live and that I’ve come out of this thing finally on top. Not to mention that I can live with challenges when they are totally 100% my decisions and not decisions I felt forced into under duress and or stupid head. So I’ve been feeling a little braver and confident ever since we stepped into this house and for whatever reason that is, I’m running with it and there’s no need to shed tears over the past when I feel more able to embrace the future then I have in some time.
I did find myself crying though over how many people came to my rescue all in the name of pizza and beer. Truly, I was totally overcome with how many people offered to help and actually showed up. Even better, everyone got along very well and I felt a glimmer of true happiness witnessing the various groups of people in my life come together. I also came to the conclusion that I am quite literally surrounded by beautiful people in my social groups, we are all a bunch of hotties! I really don’t’ have the words right now to express how grateful I am for all of them and their help this weekend, including Max’s buddies who came to lend a hand. Everyone busted some serious ass getting this thing done and I appreciate that.
So in spite of the fact that all the dust being kicked up over the move has tickled my allergies a little, that I have bruises all over my legs and arms, that my upper body aches because it is normally lazy and how totally exhausted Max and I both are, we are in high spirits and life is good. I will post some picks after every room isn’t filled with boxes and I get to work on the gardening. I’m thinking we might grow some pumpkins behind the shed come Aug/September. Perfect spot for a little pumpkin patch back there. I’m also thinking that while I’m in no hurry for my own little Pumpkin to find her way to kitty heaven, that is when we will most likely begin thinking about dogs so it will be sometime before that happens unless two little Pugly Uglies just happen to fall in my lap somehow.
Happy Monday kids, love to you all!
Monday, March 09, 2009
Satisfaction and appreciation
My feet are swollen. My ankles, knees and back ache. I am covered from head to toe in a grime I can only describe as "moving stank" which is a combination of dust, dirt and who knows what else that seems to explode on me every time I move something big or make any attempt to organize things that have been sitting for a while. It doesn't seem to wash off. Also because we are literally having THE driest winter on RECORD in Colorado, essentially any and all fluids have been sucked from my body by the arid conditions. Therefore, I am prone to paper cuts, box/cardboard cuts and a lot of static electricity. We are living in a shantytown of boxes, garbage bags and absolutely nothing is in its place. And Max and I are both absolutely exhausted.
The really good news? The REALLY REALLY good news? In spite of all the standard unpleasantness that accompanies moving, I am notably happy and positive. So is Max. We make a pretty stellar team as it turns out and I can't even express how grateful I am for all of his help and with such a patient and cooperative attitude. A strong and willing body goes a long way in these situations, you know?
Additionally, Randall came Saturday to help with some of the bigger preliminaries and get Mary's bookshelf to her and trade her out the one she gave me in return. Thanks Mary:) Back to Randall though, can I just say what a joy it is to work with a competent, patient male who can problem solve and get things done without talking to me like I am stupid or just a “silly woman?” I realized from those few hours of working with Randall and my recent experiences with Richard that I really have a strong appreciation for it. I guess I’m just so used to doing so much on my own that I feel almost overwhelmed by it all. I am so desperately grateful for their help that I think they are both tired of my “thank you’s” and would just prefer I shut up about it already. These are the kind of guy’s that simply see it as their responsibilities as men to help a girl in need out. And not because either of them want anything from me either. THAT's the real dig for me, it's taken me a long long time to get it that this is how guy’s who are really your friends are supposed to be. It's taken knowing Howard and Nick and Bryan and Matt, amongst others, for me to really get it that. This might sound sexist in nature, but understand that this externalizing of my thoughts is just part of my over all figuring out what adult men are all about for me and what my relationships with them are like, historically, in the present and in the ideal future. Its pretty fascinating stuff. And I have to say, even the my kiddo has his days where we’ve both had just about enough of each other, I see the glimmers of a pretty amazing guy behind all that hormonal machismo and I am proud of him for that.
Safe to say that Sarah is learning a lot right now. The move is liberating and empowering and feel’s like something of a relief. Once again, I am overcome by the number of really amazing people in my life and how I am forever gaining insight from my relationships with them.
Good stuff.
More to come as time permits. I ended up taking some time off of work to get everything done so I am going to be pretty focused at work the remainder of this week to get caught up. It’s all a cycle isn’t it?
Anyway, love you all. Big X’s and O’s!
The really good news? The REALLY REALLY good news? In spite of all the standard unpleasantness that accompanies moving, I am notably happy and positive. So is Max. We make a pretty stellar team as it turns out and I can't even express how grateful I am for all of his help and with such a patient and cooperative attitude. A strong and willing body goes a long way in these situations, you know?
Additionally, Randall came Saturday to help with some of the bigger preliminaries and get Mary's bookshelf to her and trade her out the one she gave me in return. Thanks Mary:) Back to Randall though, can I just say what a joy it is to work with a competent, patient male who can problem solve and get things done without talking to me like I am stupid or just a “silly woman?” I realized from those few hours of working with Randall and my recent experiences with Richard that I really have a strong appreciation for it. I guess I’m just so used to doing so much on my own that I feel almost overwhelmed by it all. I am so desperately grateful for their help that I think they are both tired of my “thank you’s” and would just prefer I shut up about it already. These are the kind of guy’s that simply see it as their responsibilities as men to help a girl in need out. And not because either of them want anything from me either. THAT's the real dig for me, it's taken me a long long time to get it that this is how guy’s who are really your friends are supposed to be. It's taken knowing Howard and Nick and Bryan and Matt, amongst others, for me to really get it that. This might sound sexist in nature, but understand that this externalizing of my thoughts is just part of my over all figuring out what adult men are all about for me and what my relationships with them are like, historically, in the present and in the ideal future. Its pretty fascinating stuff. And I have to say, even the my kiddo has his days where we’ve both had just about enough of each other, I see the glimmers of a pretty amazing guy behind all that hormonal machismo and I am proud of him for that.
Safe to say that Sarah is learning a lot right now. The move is liberating and empowering and feel’s like something of a relief. Once again, I am overcome by the number of really amazing people in my life and how I am forever gaining insight from my relationships with them.
Good stuff.
More to come as time permits. I ended up taking some time off of work to get everything done so I am going to be pretty focused at work the remainder of this week to get caught up. It’s all a cycle isn’t it?
Anyway, love you all. Big X’s and O’s!
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Lock the doors and close your curtains.....it's on like Donkey Kong
Crystal is coming to Denver for Memorial Day weekend. She’s staying with me all but one night and there’s going to be much fun. All the way from Texas, Peck will also be joining us to assist in the shenanigans. It will be the first time we’ve all been together in at least 5 years. Holy crapamoli batman, get ready to rumble!
I can’t wait!
I can’t wait!
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Cheers To A Better Day
My walk with Mary produced the expected out income in that she always helps me to put things in perspective, especially when I am not able to do so myself. Plus the exercise itself and walking along the beautiful parkway where she lives I think added to a bit of stress relief. I promised myself after our visit that I’d walk half an hour at least 5 days a week OUTSIDE in the sweet Colorado sun that I hold so dear. Surely it’s an important aspect of stress management if I learned anything from previous stressfull situations, it’s that taking care of myself physically during those time periods is a pivotal aspect of conquering the blues or excessive stress or what have you. I’ve been sleeping wonderfully and eating quite well, I’m sure this will also aid in helping me through this transition as well. I was hoping to begin therapy sooner rather then later, but I can’t afford it until after we move, so it’s one of those things that gets put on the back burner until I can, but I am motivated to not let it stay there.
Well, the packing/moving situation is going to be in full swing from this evening on I suspect. I think I may feel a little less burdened once I get that basement completely sorted and packed. There’s so much junk that accumulates, you know? Its nuts!
CHEERS to a much better day and housecleaning, in every sense of the word!
Happy Wednesday!
Well, the packing/moving situation is going to be in full swing from this evening on I suspect. I think I may feel a little less burdened once I get that basement completely sorted and packed. There’s so much junk that accumulates, you know? Its nuts!
CHEERS to a much better day and housecleaning, in every sense of the word!
Happy Wednesday!
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Black Tuesday
It’s a moody Tuesday for sure.
I waxed my eyebrows this morning and one rogue eyebrow resisted. I finally got the little bugger only for it to turn out to be a bleeder.
Much to my dismay, when I went to power up my laptop it wasn’t at my desk. Duh! I forgot it in the car. Out the front door, past the smokers once (how I’ve been craving cigarettes lately, those things are the devil I tell you!) to the car, grab the laptop again and then past the smokers again through the front door. Damn you smokers, can’t you tell a girl is feeling weak over here?
Upon reviewing my work queue for the day an issue has come back to me from the ITC (again) and I don’t know how many different ways I can explain this scenario to them to help them understand that this report IS populating according to the requirements. The requirements need revision before I can adjust the report. And since this particular ITC is in Chicago, getting him on the phone is close to impossible so most communication is done via email, which as well know can leave a certain amount to interpretation. And frankly, I’m interpreting his tone as a little snarky this morning and I don’t appreciate it.
For the last several weeks I’ve had this overwhelming urge to confront my nearest and dearest friend about something that has really been bothering me as of late, but I don’t know how to go about it because I know confronting her won’t resolve a thing. This is who she is, we are different people and this is often celebrated in our friendship, but sometimes it’s a challenge as well. I am that girlfriend that talks on the phone, hangs out, likes to be active with said friend. She is much more introverted, leaves the house only for the nessisary reasons and I cannot tell you how long it’s been since my phone rang and her number came up, at least not without me calling her first. I know this probably sounds very childish to the reader, but it’s been close to 20 years of me feeling like I am putting far more effort into the friendship. She knows me better then probably anyone and I will always love her, sometimes I get tired of being the one to call, the one to try and get her to spend time with me (which is almost impossible, literally) and frankly, why should I put so much effort into someone who seems to care very little about my presence in her life. I’ve even wondered at times if she is merely being polite to me because she cares for Max very deeply. Then I get sweet birthday cards that tells me how much she appreciates me and loves me and so on. Rarely, but on occasion, I am acknowledged as an important part of her life. But I still feel hurt that there seems to be very little, if any, attempts on the other party to call, hang out, jeesh even spend an afternoon with me. This is all probably very silly, like a silly high school scenario, but this situation wears on me at times and I am experiencing a phase in my life where I’m evaluating my relationships and this one in particular seems to keep popping up in the lime light as one that I am not always sure I feel I am being met halfway.
Sigh.
It’s 8 AM and I am tired, bloated and moody. And overwhelmed with the move and all that needs to be done. I want to smoke cigarettes, drink coffee and go home and pack my basement. I know this is a total bitch session and my apologies for spewing all this poo poo out to the world, but I have to get it out or I’ll cry and I’ve avoided tears now for quite some time. I’m getting pretty capable of holding them back these days, I like it.
My saving grace at the moment is that I will meet Mary for a walk this afternoon. I will put a smile on my face, try to stay positive and plug through the day. Then I will get out in the sunshine and spend time with a much wiser woman then myself. That will help :)
I waxed my eyebrows this morning and one rogue eyebrow resisted. I finally got the little bugger only for it to turn out to be a bleeder.
Much to my dismay, when I went to power up my laptop it wasn’t at my desk. Duh! I forgot it in the car. Out the front door, past the smokers once (how I’ve been craving cigarettes lately, those things are the devil I tell you!) to the car, grab the laptop again and then past the smokers again through the front door. Damn you smokers, can’t you tell a girl is feeling weak over here?
Upon reviewing my work queue for the day an issue has come back to me from the ITC (again) and I don’t know how many different ways I can explain this scenario to them to help them understand that this report IS populating according to the requirements. The requirements need revision before I can adjust the report. And since this particular ITC is in Chicago, getting him on the phone is close to impossible so most communication is done via email, which as well know can leave a certain amount to interpretation. And frankly, I’m interpreting his tone as a little snarky this morning and I don’t appreciate it.
For the last several weeks I’ve had this overwhelming urge to confront my nearest and dearest friend about something that has really been bothering me as of late, but I don’t know how to go about it because I know confronting her won’t resolve a thing. This is who she is, we are different people and this is often celebrated in our friendship, but sometimes it’s a challenge as well. I am that girlfriend that talks on the phone, hangs out, likes to be active with said friend. She is much more introverted, leaves the house only for the nessisary reasons and I cannot tell you how long it’s been since my phone rang and her number came up, at least not without me calling her first. I know this probably sounds very childish to the reader, but it’s been close to 20 years of me feeling like I am putting far more effort into the friendship. She knows me better then probably anyone and I will always love her, sometimes I get tired of being the one to call, the one to try and get her to spend time with me (which is almost impossible, literally) and frankly, why should I put so much effort into someone who seems to care very little about my presence in her life. I’ve even wondered at times if she is merely being polite to me because she cares for Max very deeply. Then I get sweet birthday cards that tells me how much she appreciates me and loves me and so on. Rarely, but on occasion, I am acknowledged as an important part of her life. But I still feel hurt that there seems to be very little, if any, attempts on the other party to call, hang out, jeesh even spend an afternoon with me. This is all probably very silly, like a silly high school scenario, but this situation wears on me at times and I am experiencing a phase in my life where I’m evaluating my relationships and this one in particular seems to keep popping up in the lime light as one that I am not always sure I feel I am being met halfway.
Sigh.
It’s 8 AM and I am tired, bloated and moody. And overwhelmed with the move and all that needs to be done. I want to smoke cigarettes, drink coffee and go home and pack my basement. I know this is a total bitch session and my apologies for spewing all this poo poo out to the world, but I have to get it out or I’ll cry and I’ve avoided tears now for quite some time. I’m getting pretty capable of holding them back these days, I like it.
My saving grace at the moment is that I will meet Mary for a walk this afternoon. I will put a smile on my face, try to stay positive and plug through the day. Then I will get out in the sunshine and spend time with a much wiser woman then myself. That will help :)
Monday, March 02, 2009
NannerPuss
Has anyone seen that Denny’s commercial with the “NannerPus” on it? Well if not, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kK6F7t-x6E
NannerPus has become the newest catch phrase in my house. I can’t even recall the last time I ate at a Denny’s (Crys, I think it was that night we went with Peck after Vinyl’s? Do you vaguely recall that? Seriously, I think it’s been that long) nor do I expect to actually breakfast at Denny’s any time in the near future sober (extenuating circumstances would include: starvation, at gun point or if it was the last place on earth that served eggs Benedict) unless of course it’s at 2:30 AM and I’ve found myself there under the exact same circumstances as my the last 3 visits in the last 10 years: late night intoxication that requires immediate sustenance. I assure you, everyone else in that restaurant is just as tipsy, tired or otherwise ready to pass out (especially if it’s the one off Federal, yikes!) as you think you are and no one cares what they are eating, saying, drinking or how loud they are being. No one! Its like “Animal Farm” up in that joint for the after hours crowd all across the nation. Luckily, I believe those days are (mostly) in my past and now if I am out late I just want to go home and go to bed.
Moving on, NannerPus. Yes, it’s really caused a certain amount of similar after hour’s behavior as mentioned above in our house as of late. When Max is being crusty to me, I just shout “Look everybody, it’s NannerPus!” and that catches him off guard, makes him laugh and he sub sequentially shuts it without further comment. Additionally, I will occasionally, throughout the day, test him simply “NannerPus!” For which I receive this response: “no” or “No” or “NO!” But I know it gets a giggle out of him, I can just feel it and if not, I definitely do. I think it’s all out hilarity on all accounts and a true testament to the fact that while I would never eat at Denny’s again unless I’d been clubbed over the head and dragged in by my future caveman husband OR I wasn’t the DD and it happened to be where the girls ended up after a long night of dancing and partying and fried animals parts of unknown origin slathered in ranch dressing or extra salty/spicy hash browns with a Diet Coke and a pitcher of water sound absolutely delicious; I can still laugh at a stupid ass commercial, make it my own and not even find myself remotely interested in consuming the product.
Merry Monday kids, it’s going to be a fun week. My fruity senses are already tingling……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kK6F7t-x6E
NannerPus has become the newest catch phrase in my house. I can’t even recall the last time I ate at a Denny’s (Crys, I think it was that night we went with Peck after Vinyl’s? Do you vaguely recall that? Seriously, I think it’s been that long) nor do I expect to actually breakfast at Denny’s any time in the near future sober (extenuating circumstances would include: starvation, at gun point or if it was the last place on earth that served eggs Benedict) unless of course it’s at 2:30 AM and I’ve found myself there under the exact same circumstances as my the last 3 visits in the last 10 years: late night intoxication that requires immediate sustenance. I assure you, everyone else in that restaurant is just as tipsy, tired or otherwise ready to pass out (especially if it’s the one off Federal, yikes!) as you think you are and no one cares what they are eating, saying, drinking or how loud they are being. No one! Its like “Animal Farm” up in that joint for the after hours crowd all across the nation. Luckily, I believe those days are (mostly) in my past and now if I am out late I just want to go home and go to bed.
Moving on, NannerPus. Yes, it’s really caused a certain amount of similar after hour’s behavior as mentioned above in our house as of late. When Max is being crusty to me, I just shout “Look everybody, it’s NannerPus!” and that catches him off guard, makes him laugh and he sub sequentially shuts it without further comment. Additionally, I will occasionally, throughout the day, test him simply “NannerPus!” For which I receive this response: “no” or “No” or “NO!” But I know it gets a giggle out of him, I can just feel it and if not, I definitely do. I think it’s all out hilarity on all accounts and a true testament to the fact that while I would never eat at Denny’s again unless I’d been clubbed over the head and dragged in by my future caveman husband OR I wasn’t the DD and it happened to be where the girls ended up after a long night of dancing and partying and fried animals parts of unknown origin slathered in ranch dressing or extra salty/spicy hash browns with a Diet Coke and a pitcher of water sound absolutely delicious; I can still laugh at a stupid ass commercial, make it my own and not even find myself remotely interested in consuming the product.
Merry Monday kids, it’s going to be a fun week. My fruity senses are already tingling……
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