Monday Meanderings

Friday was eventful at our house. Max ended up in the ER with a concussion after a tackle football injury. Gave us all a good scare, I keep trying to chalk it up to the experiences of having teenage sons but I am pretty sure I grew a gray hair that afternoon. The look in his eyes, his breathing, that he wasn’t recalling things as quickly as normally and that he had some memory loss was scary. But CAT scan came back ok, no neck injury and so far, nothing seems out of the norm. I kept him in bed all weekend and am monitoring his behavior accordingly. He knocked his noggin pretty good, if it were cartoon land he’d have little yellow birdies circling his head.

In case I haven’t shared this with you all, I cursed Max about 2 years ago to have a girl for every gray hair he puts on my head prematurely. He’s up to 3 girls now since I started counting. I hope he gets a good job. He thinks I’m joking about this and convinced he’ll have all boys. He wont’ think it’s so funny when his partner starts popping out adorable little chumpkins ALL of the female persuasion.

Buwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (that’ll teach him.)

Sigh, I’m so glad he’s ok. Narrowly escaping yet another potential traumatic injury isn’t exactly how either of us would’ve liked to have spent Friday afternoon.

In other news, we go to pick up the keys this Friday for the new house. I’m so excited and am slowly packing books, knick knacks what nots and what have you’s. A little at a time feels less stressful then all at once. Although, I’m already feeling eager to get moved in and get it over with. I’m never satisfied, I swear.

Also slow in coming is the realization that perhaps the person I’ve put out to the universe in my “non domestic” hours is not necessarily the person I wish to be. Or be portrayed as. I’ve always walked the fine line between trying to identify who I am outside of my responsibilities and accountabilities that keep me in check, i.e…Max, my job, my family, etc…There’s long been a streak of rebellion in my blood and I’ve never apologized for acting on it within my own self inflicted confines, which I am forever testing because that’s who I am. I test life’s boundaries. Whether intentionally or not, I can now see that it’s how I’m built. However, as I mature or have more experiences, perhaps I can now see the importance of self-discipline on a level other then my domestic responsibilities and it’s causing a mild identity crisis at the moment. It could easily be said that I don’t really know who I am right now and I am in the process of redefining myself and all that comes along with doing that, which includes accepting ones past self as part of the self I am today. This is probably pretty confusing to the world outside my own head, but I know what it means and it’s kind of complicated and a journey only I can take on my own. It’s good stuff, trust me…I think what I wonder is if I’m strong enough to actually do it. Maybe not just yet, we’ll see.

Though, what am I waiting for?