Babies & Bumpkins

Max and I spent Wednesday evening with the ever lovely Kim and her boys. Yet another reschedule from my birthday weekend, I was eager to get over there and see how much that baby has changed in the month since he was born. Guess what? He’s still a baby, he still poos and coos and needs constant attention and has two parents who are handling it all pretty amazingly. Yay baby, month 1 was a success as we all knew it would be.

Nick and Max made tempeh taco’s for dinner (really good, so easy and I needn’t even discuss the nutritional value of such a meal) while Kim and I took baby Quinn for a walk at Cheesman park. Like a dumbass, I wore the wrong shoes and now have two very red and angry blisters on my heels, but it was worth it. Had to break those shoes in eventually. During our walk, Kim filled me in on what it’s like to be the mother of an infant; how they are fairing as a couple; How Dylan, Gus & Amigo (2 year old black schnauzer, 3 year old lab collie mix, 3.5 year old orange/cream long haired feline) are adapting to the new critter in the house and finally, how she’s healing up from the c-section. Poor thing, think leeeetle teeny tiny momma and big big baby head – voila c-section to go.

After our walk, we sat down and did dinner family style with baby Quinn being passed around and man handled by all during the meal. When Max was asked if HE wanted to hold the baby he said “Ha, no way! Toooo little for me!” FYI, Max has a seemingly prevalent fear amongst males that he might drop the baby or be to rough and hurt it some how. I explained to him that babies are really resilient and he’ll squeal if you are doing anything wrong (no pressure there huh?) and that I highly doubted Max would ever hurt a single living thing. Na huh, not happening. No dice. We had a wonderful meal and as we sat and visited after dinner dishes were done and dessert was on it’s way out (OMG Pete’s butter crunch ice cream? HELLO!) I felt so warm in the presence of this family, truly and honor to be included.

First, I need to say how striking it is that these two really seem to have this whole infant thing under control. As is to be expected, they are a little frazzled as they learn how to make the baby happy because we all know if baby isn’t happy, NO ONE is happy. So that’s always the first order of business of course. But besides that, they just seem very matter of fact like this is the baby and this is what he needs and we’ve got it covered. They are total naturals at this. No one seems overwhelmed or stressed or freaked. Just really tired.

Second, how they interact with Quinn is a true testament to their partnership. They have that weird unspoken telepathy thing I’ve seen with other couples (achem you know who you are) and do seem to be capable of working in total tandem with one another without much effort at all. How does that happen I wonder because other then with my girlfriends, I’ve yet to have that experience with a male. It’s fascinating to watch.

Finally, there is one more kid in the world who is wanted and going to be loved and nurtured every day of his life as such. Which also means there is one less kid in the world going hungry or being mistreated. It moves me to tears to see a child born into such love and passion and goodness. Quinn is really lucky and so are the Kim & Nick because they’ve got a brilliant start to a beautiful and happy life together.

On a more personal note, I will admit to being brought back to a time when I was the mother of a newborn baby and I felt a tinge of something (not sure exactly what) as I watched Nick actually parent his son. It might’ve been something like a retroactive jealousy? Or sadness? Or even maybe even a little pride. Max’s father did nothing to help when his son was born. In fact, Sean made things harder. Besides the obvious things anyone who knows me or has read this blog long enough knows that little bit of information, I don’t think Sean ever even once changed a diaper, got up with Max in the middle of the night, fed him, burped him or bathed him. No wonder I was so overwhelmed. I always just thought I was a horrible mother or that maybe I had no business having a baby in the first place. I always say “there’s a reason it takes two people to make a baby” but I am not sure I ever really listened to myself and acknowledged what that has meant for Max and I. It’s crazy how time and experience and watching others live their lives can really give your perspective on your own.