A Few Random Thoughts While My Report Queue Job Executes

• For the first time EVER, I have highlighted my hair. Sure I’ve played with reds and maroons and even black (oh those angsty teen years, weren’t THEY fun?) but I’ve never actually added blonde highlights to my already naturally blonde hair. Why you might ask? Because as I’ve aged, my hair has become more dishwater then blonde and finally my vanity stepped in said “Sarah, you are far too young to be looking so haggard! You can do something about it you know?” So, after careful research I found a product that would highlight my existing highlights and supposedly give my lovely locks and all over gorgeous shine. And guess what kids? It worked and now my hair is the same sun kissed color I remember from my 20’s. Now, if I could only get the rest of me to appear as youthful, I’d be quite please. Next is the weight and I’m considering a new piece of body art to signify my next transition.

• Realizing that I rarely spend money on creature comforts, I purchased a very cozy white cotton hospital blankie to go under my comforter because I find myself colder at night then I’d like to be. Very unpleasant side affect to a quickly deteriorating heating system. Whoever moves in there after me will definitely have to have that looked at. I also purchased a cool mist humidifier for my room. I am in heaven in my bed, it’s like my sanctuary and I’ve decided to make it as such from here on out. I’ve also decided to stop denying myself such things as warmth and feeling pretty for whatever reason it is that I do that to myself. Perhaps I feel I have to punish myself right now because no one else is. THAT’s something to take with me to the therapist’s office.

• Speaking of, I’m “interviewing” at the moment. I’m sure I’ll find the right match; I wish I didn’t have to pay a co-pay every time. After all, you have to kiss a few couches before you find the perfect one in which to be analyzed on.

• We are very eager to move. Don’t expect much communication from me in the coming weeks. For those of you who don’t know, moving makes me an insane person. I get worked up, really worked up about everything being out of place. My OCD kicks into high gear and I end up feeling like a basket case during the entire experience. At least, that’s how the last move went. Maybe this won’t be like that, surely it can’t be. I’m not facing the same situation, which included well intentioned friends who pretty much planted themselves at my house for 5 days straight and frankly gave me no room to manage the whole thing, a broken toe oh and Chance. Who could forget. Luckily, I haven’t forgotten (or quite forgiven yet) but we are almost there. Clearly the move represents transition on many levels. Kristen thought I might not be sick as often, let’s hope she’s right. Maybe I can begin shedding skins that are weighing me down like you wouldn’t believe.

• Max has been wonderful recently. As I said to Mary, let’s not jinx it. But we are in a good place at the moment, he’s working hard at school (with a certain amount of hand holding from mom, but whatever, you do what you have to do with your children) and he has a friend that is a girl, though they aren’t actually dating yet, but they like each other and “hang out.” Swoon. Young love, it really can be sweet can’t it and not screw up your whole life because you ran off with a guy 6 years your senior with long hair and a car and could buy beer and wanted to get you out of your abusive home life. Oh wait….that’s not Max. Duhhh Sarah, don’t forget girl…he’s NOT YOU. Get over yourself sister.

• Facebook has become so much more a joy then MySpace ever was for me. I fear it’s headed down the MySpace path but what I’m realizing is that like in “real” life, who you spend time interacting with makes all the difference.

• I have exciting news about a dear friend but I’m not sure if I can “out” the news yet. I’ll leave that up to her.

• Crystal is rocking the CPA as we all knew she would. And loosing weight and looking like the hot mommasita we all know she always has been and always will be. I might get to see her soon depending on what Memorial Day brings. I keep thinking of how weird it is that every time I hug her after not having seen her for a long time, I almost knock her over with and then inhale deeply because I always like her smell. Is that weird stalker behavior or what? It seems a little strange to me, but she’s never been like “Ok freak, that’s enough!” so I guess I’ll just let that be what it is and move on.

• Matty and I had a lovely visit Friday night. Gawd I miss him, it’s hard not to miss someone you practically spent every weekend with for several years. We’ve both grown so much and I’d say we are closer then ever and we’ve decided that it will be my job to get us to Mexico and his job to sit on the beach and drink a lot. He’s already got his passport ready, yayyy Matty. Almost there bro, hang in there.

• Richard is working on my car again this weekend. It needs a new power steeling line installed. All together now “PAIN IN THE ASS” for him. Poor guy, he’s so patient and understanding. How lucky am I? It’s a pricey job, shitty timing but I can’t help but still feel a sense of gratitude because with Richard I would be so much more stressed about it. And I wouldn’t know Richard without Randall and I wouldn’t know Randall without Carin. It is fascinating how one amazing person in a life time can affect you forever. I thanked Randall for that the other night. For introducing me to Crystal, who also changed my life. I’m like shocked out how truly cool Richard is, like he’s just one of those people. Like Randall. Randall keeps telling me “See, there are GOOD guys out there. Just hold out ok?” I think he’s trying to make a point, seeing that we’ve both been put though the love wringer recently. Sigh, another day. Anyway, thank the good sweet gods for Richard. I can’t help but feel such joy for the simple fact that I can rely on him. Relying on a man? Whoa, not to be entered into lightly no matter what the context of the relationship.

• Doh gotta go. Jobs done. I’m out, I’ve gotta go to the store, do some light house cleaning and make my kid do his homework. Peace out ya’ll, love you!