Hellllooooooooo From The Other Side Of The Universe

Hello Boys & Girls.

Sorry for the lack of communication on my end, I've been in and out functional consciousness now for about a week. There is some nasty-ass viral funk going around and I've managed to catch it and am now trying desperately to release it.

A few notations about being ill:
- My life doesn't care if I should be in bed or have a fever.
- The demands are real and plenty and being "sick" is a poor excuse apparently, for things not getting done.
- I cannot just stay in the house, even if I am taking a sick-day from work and NOT work, do laundry or dig into unpacked boxes that need to be organized.
- I am irritated that I have had to use PTO (paid time off) for sick days rather than having fun days.

I'm sick of being sick, so I am moving on and pretending it is not happening.

In other news, my car just got it's first tune up and 20k mile maintenance from the dealership since I bought her. She's running like a champ and the Baby Jetta is now shining in all her glory, she is a very happy Baby Jetta. Entirely too much fun to drive, I can feel everything firing properly under that hood and when that turbo kicks in...I'm like ~ squoooosh ~ Is it wrong to have such devout love for a large metal object that is killing Mother Earth? It probably really is, but I am quite fond of the Baby Jetta and will take my lumps according when I must face my judgments.

Speaking of taking my lumps, it has come to my attention that I have in-advertantly offended a friend of a friend several weeks back during some late night shenanigans. Naturally, I feel I must take responsibility in this offense as it is my intention to do no harm unto others. So I of course I will apologize and humbly move on, having learned a very valuable lesson. My only request would be that in the future, if someone finds themselves offended or hurt by my behaviors or actions, that they come directly to me with it rather than discussing it behind my back. It is embarrassing and disrespectful, the idea that my "friends" would have a round table discussion on how to "handle" me when a simple request would suffice. Anyone who knows anything about me knows that. But, I cannot control how others will behave only my reactions to their behavior.

This issue leads me into the next that has been on my mind as of late and that is me and my big mouth. You would think that by now in my life time, I would have learned that not all not all are comfortable with my forthcoming and direct nature. For some, my bluntness is often construed as offensive, rude, crass or considered over the top. Mostly, I could give a crap what most people think.. I stand by my "What you see is what you get." approach to life and my interactions with others. I am not a vision of perfection by any means, but I also don't feel the need to hide who I am through public and social facade. If something comes out of my mouth, one can be rest assured it doesn't come out of my mouth to intentionally offend, disrespect or dishonor another. Those are the words that have spewed forth from my heart, mind or spirit at any given moment and tho it may not always be comfortable for everyone involved, I won't be put on trial or guilted for speaking the truth. And there are times when I am very silly and very giggling and this some how bothers people. Ah well. If I love someone, I will speak it. If I am curious about someone or something, I'm going to investigate it openly. If I am angry, in pain, frustrated, etc...I'm not going to hide it. If I see something that strikes me as completely wrong, I'm not going change sides for the sake of a false peace. Why should I? I've spent years finding my voice, I like it alot and am proud to have it.

Having said all this, I have had some serious realizations about the extent of fakeness in our culture and there are days when I do wish to crawl into a shell and smile and nod and be complacent. It would be a hell of alot easier. And some times I do, just cuz I don't have the energy or quickly realize what we all do on those days..."it's just not worth it." Sometimes, it takes time for some of us to learn when to shut the hell up. Sometimes, it takes a while for some of us to learn whether or not it's really that important to them..."What will others think of me if I don't shut the hell up?"

Interesting ponderings indeed, but I am moving on from that subject now.

Max is doing well, playing soccer again and has several more practices a week then in previous seasons. I am excited for him, I think this league will be a good transition for him out of the recreational soccer realm and into the more competitive. He is so adorable, we've been having a lot of fun lately.

Matty showed up at my door at 10 am yesterday morning, having drove some ridiculous number of hours from Reno to get to Colorado. I squealed and squished him and was very happy to see him. I know Rhi is relieved that he is home and I am too I guess, I think we like to keep an eye on him. Matt has more Mothers, Sisters and Girls than he knows what to do with I think. Either way, I am happy he's home just in time for summer and I am looking forward to a weekend camping trip or something hopefully. That is if I can wash his mouth out with soap first, he's picked up a M.O.U.T.H. from hanging out with all those glass guys :)

CMan is laid up with some sort of neck injury, he is very uncomfortable and I am very concerned. I hope it's nothing serious, but he slept downstairs last night and I missed him terribly. I plan to harass him all day until he goes to the doc.

Shout out to Rhi & Matt for showing up at Dan A's show last night. Thank you for taking the time to participate in the life of someone who is very important to me. Mary was very touched that you guys could take the time to make it, it means alot. Supporting kids in their creative ventures is a pivotal role in their ultimate success. He looked so great up there, on that stage. I could still see his 7 year old sweet little face in his 17 year old, "all grown up and a dude now" body. I think Max's reaction to the punk club was a highlight of the evening for me, one of Max's first exposures to less than suburban life :) Freaking cracked me up!

Oh yes, and thanks to Rhi for bringing over the Tupac dvd's. I miss him so much, I hope to see more of his work published and his message being propagated in the community.

The weekend was fun over all, tho I spent most of it on the couch or being sick. I had some silly fun with Rhi Friday night, it was nice to see her. The coming weekend will be all about the folks and family, so it was nice to have a little silly fun time with my girl.

And on a final note, I'd like to say a little something about trust. Clear, honest and concise boundaries are the first step in giving and receiving trust in any situation. If once those boundaries have been established, they are crossed, then perhaps one can than find a reason to distrust the other. But if you don't know where your heart sits, where your own personal boundaries are in general, in life, then how can another? If one is firm within themselves and with others about their personal conviction, then there is no question about the boundaries and thus the trust. Sometimes, we need to explain to others what it might be that might hurt us or causes us to question another persons love or loyalty. Until telepathic communication is accepted and practiced by human beings, we cannot know what the other is thinking/feeling/etc...without communications and you can't communicate how you feel about something to someone until you've thought it through yourself.

Until next time, peace out ya'll.
L-S