A hug from my "little" boy, who is now officially 13 makes me smile in a way no one else can see. Even though the Hormone Monster has bitten, I still catch moments of sweetness from him when he thinks no one is looking. Secretly, he still loves me and thinks I'm "ok", even if the rest of the world can't know that for right now. I guess there is a comfort in knowing that the bond created between us through all of these years (which some say the bond between single parents and their children holds an entirely different dynamic then the typical mother/child relationship, with both challenges and many assets) cannot be broken so easily.
Max is loved tremendously and is blessed in ways he cannot fully comprehend right now. I am so happy for all the people in his life who adore him and take the time out to let him know it. Birthday cakes, hugs and well wishing go far. Taking the time to let a kid know that you love them is bigger than simple words may seem.
I am a much better bowler than I remember and enjoy it much more than I ever thought I would, I kicked the guys butts all 3 games. YAY Sarah. I think it might be fun to play more often, we spent $40 total on an entire evening of lots of fun, including a few beers and video games for the "kids." You can't beat good, cheap and fairly clean (sans the bowling shoes) fun!
Some times the people you love are going to hurt you, it is a fact. One can hardly expect complete anonymity from such things, though it always stings a little when it does occur. For the most part, these little snafus in the human condition gone awry are forgivable and easily recognized for what it is, humans being humans. No one is perfect after all, no matter how much he or she may wish to portray him or herself as such and it is also natural that our loved ones may become subject to our suffering and frustrations and own internal pain or doubts. In most cases, these sorts of things are forgivable and something that can be reconciled. Interactions and relationships of all sorts require tolerance, patience and forgiveness. I suppose I am learning this just as much as the next person, but I am an extroverted Aquarius...I spend a lot of time processing everything, listening to my heart and feeling things through. I used to believe this was a curse, I know now it is a blessing when embraced by myself and those around me.
I spend a lot of time working through my fears and insecurities in my dreams, to the point where there are moments when my very dreams become painful. And often, just when I believe I've worked through something nagging at me, a simple comment or suggestion can send my dream cycle into chaos. Perhaps I am simply to sensitive to others or my maybe my subconscious energies from each day are overwhelmed. I am not fearful of my dreams themselves, it's just they are so real and vivid sometimes that I find myself waking up in a panic and feeling lost. I also often question whether my dreams are prophetic or they create the reality the envision. Either way, that's a lot to consider.
On the Anniversary of 9/11 each year, the spin by the media is so completely frustrating. Every year it's something different, some "new" piece of information is "exposed." I find myself speechless at the lengths the media will go to capitalize on death.
We watched a movie last night called "Crash." I would highly recommend it, very compelling and thought provoking. It has a Spike Lee, "Do The Right Thing" edge to it, or at least that's what it sort of reminded me of.
Doing some research on Attachment Disorders and the impacts from infancy to adulthood. It is a fascinating project and I am learning a lot, will share more as time permits.
More later...
1 comment:
*hug*
Post a Comment