Weekend Warriors

We just got done eating dinner, we had fish tacos with Chance's homemade tartar sauce. Kick ass stuff yo! Jessie is diligently cleaning herself on the floor next to me and I am diligently enjoying my last alcoholic beverage of the weekend. And what a weekend it was!

Max and I had been sick all last week and Friday he and I were starting to sort-of feel better, so by the time I got off work I am ready to cut loose a little and relax. CMan thought we should take Maxter out for Crab (Max's fav) and bowling (cuz I'm really getting good at it and Max likes it too!) for his 2nd consecutive weekend of Birthday Festivities. Well, I was in a bit of a foul mood as much as I tried to curb it. I just couldn't turn "Crabby Sarah" off and turn "Go With The Flow, Pretty Mellow For The Most Part Sarah" on. I guess even us Cool Chicks have our moments, eh? Ok, whatever. I was not being very flexible or tolerant. After much to do about nothing, we ended up at the 'Brazilian Cafe' which doesn't have Crab, but does have some of the most delicious food I've eaten in ages. CMan treated us to an incredible meal of totally decadent foods and drink, which I know poor Max sort of struggled though, but being his wonderful self, he enjoyed it to the best of his ability and we then went in search of an open lane at our local bowling alley. To no avail unfortunately, all was full. League night. But, we did grab some movies from Blockbuster and decided just to chill at home.

After Max was fast asleep, CMan and I spent some time enjoying boisterous laughter from some of favorite stand up comedians and settled in for a night of discussion and giggling and warmth. We had one of "those" discussions which I know all couples have, what does this all mean and looking at the bigger picture. I left that discussion knowing that in spite of my occasional frustrations, this man does appreciate and love me and is completely committed. I could not ask for more and I find nothing but joy in this person, he is the one for me. Sure we spat and fiddle and poke fun at one another, but it is all done in love and I've never felt so bonded, like this person truly knows me in a way that few others can or do. Blessed be.

Saturday morning we awoke to face the day and participate in Max's paintball party for his 13th birthday. Let me first just say that I was pleasantly surprised by this experience. I guess it sort of taught me that when a group of men get together and down and dirty, they are not always (ok, a little of Sarah's baggage here) going to act like hedonistic a-holes and I sensed a real comradery amongst all involved. Everyone was there was all about having fun and the organizers/owners of this establishment partake and encourage the fun with great enthusiasm. Admittedly, I have a hard time understanding the appeal of going into a building and shooting one another with little plastic balls filled with paint. Which stings like the dickens if hit in the right place from what I can tell, but I saw something this day that I've never witnessed before. Dudes having dude fun and it gave me a whole new respect for the scenario.

The Birthday Boy, Cousin Owen, Matt, Daniel and Chance all participated in the days events. Max knows all about this, he's done it before and he acted the pro in my eyes. One thing I noticed during the games was how grown up he seems, he is developing man hands and definitely has an aire about him these days. It's pretty neat to witness this transition. He is developing into a little person right before my eyes and I was so proud of him as he was eager to be strategic in his methods and had it all planned out, all the while making sure everyone was having fun and ever being the caretaker if someone was injured. Ok, and a little Mom Glory in the fact that he kept thanking me for a good time, yay me...I somehow managed to make my baby happy!

I was pleased that CMan chose to participate as he was not feeling well (he caught our cold/flu bug) and was having a hard time even functioning really, but he was a trooper and did it for Max. Thanks babe, cool stuff! Matt, poor guy, had a rough time getting there and seemed in a bit agro mood when he first got there but was definitely having fun by the end of it all. Daniel who is always astonishing to me, I am ever amazed at this kiddo. He is such a brave and unique individual and I adore him completely. And Max and Big Man Owen were all over it, completely slimed and ready for more by the end of it all. BTW: There is nothing sanitary or comfortable about paintball. All males walked out with some sort of injury (which proudly had to be displayed and discussed several times over after the fact) and tales to tell about the experience. Not to mention that everything in the paintball arena is greasy an slimy, even the chairs! Paintballs are designed to be bio-degradable Mat informed me, which is why they are so gross. So the paint just eventually fades. I spent a good portion of the afternoon outside, so as not to impede on the fun. I found myself saying "Max, are you ok?" and "OMEGA, are you oK?" to so many of the players so many times that I decided my exit was probably necessary. I don't do well when I see my child being pummeled by ouchie-things, or the men/boys I love with huge welts all over their bodies. Not to mention the exuberant amount of testosterone, which a part of me craves, but the other part of me is just like...."Ok, this girl who has hung out with Frat Boys her whole life is ready to go outside!"

Afterward, boys were starving so we went for all-you-can eat-pizza. I tremendously enjoyed watching these boys all together, eating pizza with excited discussions. CMan and Matt went to play Golf (video game) and Owen & Max went to play pool after everyone was full. CMan and Matt are forever adorable in their competition, which I know is all in fun and I love to throw them both for a loop with it sometimes by playing cheer-leader for one side or the other. Jeez, if I got REALLY excited and started jumping and down, who knows what would happen!!! LOL. Gets their blood pumping! The kind-of little ones were attempting to play pool, Max loves it but it still learning how. Owen is actually a pretty good shot for a 13 year old! I was really touched by Matt's attempts to show Max how to play, to give him some advice. I thought it was really cool how Matt said, quietly like not to embarrass Max, "Max, you want some pointers?" instead of just barging in and acting like he knows everything and giving Max the opportunity to make a decision, I thought it was a very respectful thing to do. The whole pizza thing was very sweet for me, watching the boys I love having a great time and I just sat there drinking water with lemon and enjoying it all.

We came home, CMan was playing with the computer, Owen was helping. Max and I were so tired and Matt was off to have Man-Fun at the big boys club. Saturday was a good day.

This morning, CMan and I got up and were snuggling warmly in bed talking about this and that and the other thing. We were talking about kids, the night before Matt & Chance were talking about how "scary" babies are. "What if I drop the baby!" they both said, almost in unison. I couldn't believe it! You don't just DROP a baby, I know this all sounds sort of weird, guess you had to be there. Especially with these guys, they are some of the most wonderful and compassionate men! I know neither one of these men would ever take a baby lightly and would be loving if given the opportunity, but still, I couldn't help but laugh at them. Silly boys. Like I would ever let either of them drop the baby! Just joking:)

But, I am happy that CMan and I are on the same page about kids. It's not something that's going to happen for us, I mean unless by accident. I think we are both really ok with that, not just as individuals but also as a partnership. CMan loves Max, he is such a gift to us and I am forever amazed how willing he is to take on all that it means to be involved with a Single Mother. He does it with such respect and grace, more than anyone I've ever known, it just sort of fits. Max and I are both profoundly blessed by CMan's love, probably more than he knows and which he gives of so willingly. But CMan also knows that I am probably not going to have any more children, I've been a parent longer then I've been an adult and while I am grateful for every moment I have with my child, I know that if I could, I would've had another one along time ago, now is not the time for either of us and I highly doubt as the both of us push into our 30's, it's is something we will want. And of course, we were discussing what a wonderful father Matt will make if given the opportunity and of course, after he's had his time to play. I watch him with my Boy and am forever pleased that Uncle Mat is part of my Childs life. It sort of just comes naturally for Matt, whether the thinks so or not. He is wonderful with many people, not just my child and I hope he knows he is always welcome in our home. Family is a strange thing, it's not always blood that binds. I know this with many in my life and you know who you are:) Twinkle Twinkle!

Max is loved by so many wonderful people. Sometimes I get freaked about his future, and then look at the male influence he has....Grandfathers, CMan, Bryan, Justin, Matt & Dane...all really outstanding men. And even outside of that, Max is an outstanding individual on his own...sigh. Wow. AND...Consider the female influences...My Goddess! As a mother, I watched my child this weekend and knew that he was going to be ok, he is a being outside of anything I've ever known and probably outside of anything many of the people in his life will ever know, he will make a difference, he will be loved. Not that this will influence his destiny, but this Kid has hope, more than a lot of us has ever had. And I am so happy for the reality of that! Bless us these next several years!

So, I guess out of everything I learned this weekend...which I feel sort of takes away from Max's fun, which is not my intention at all...the men/boys in my life are forever teaching me lessons about love, respect, honor and integrity. Not one of them is a disappointment to me and whether they know it or not, it speaks volumes of my trust and love.

Happy Birthday Max, you are getting to be a Big Guy now and know that I love you and am here for you with every breathe and beyond, but respect your space cuz your doing good stuff with it! Most of luck to you baby, life is short and long at the same time, but Gawd Damn if it isn't beautiful!