Consider the following:
Fact 1a: Raccoons weigh approximately 12 - 25 pounds
Fact 1b: Cars weigh approximately 2 - 4 tons
Fact 2a: Raccoons are made of fur and whiskers and cute little stripy things that make them look like little burglars
Fact 2b: Cars are made of steel and petroleum products and a standard combustion engine
Fact 3a: Raccoons amble and highways are not meant for ambling
Fact 3b: Cars move quickly, make sudden and sometimes erratic movements pending on their operators
Fact 4a: Raccoons live and climb in trees
Fact 4b: Cars cannot climb trees
Logic would dictate that raccoons should thus avoid highways and large, loud, heavy things that move at a rate of speed not conceivable by said raccoons.
Can't we all decide that it's in your best interest to simply pretend as if the highway isn't there, it's like some great looming unknown that you don't dare explore? I know it's not fair, I know you were here first and us stinky humans came along and screwed it all up for you. Trust me, this saddens me tremendously. But seeing your lifeless little bodies in numbers unparalleled to years before makes my heart wrench.
If nothing else, please try to put the fear of the Gods in the hearts of your babies so they will at least avoid all that concrete! It's scary stuff danget and I love you and don't want anyone else getting smooshed. It's just not such a great way to start the day, you know?
Peace be with you little furry burglars and stay off the damn highway! Don't even go near it! Ok?
Yours truly,
Fruity Raccoon Lover
2 comments:
This is both the cutest and saddest post I've read in a long time. I too have noticed more raccoons than seems normal on the side of the road. *frown*
Funny, little burglers - that's great!
It might become my personal mission to save these little guys. I know a lot of people think they are an annoyance. Truth be told, they ARE total trash diggers. But that's not their fault, they are just going where the food is and us humans dispose of the tastiest morsels around. It's like a buffet right at their doorstep, for the taking....so I can't fault them for rummaging through our leftovers.
But this morning, after seeing the 5th or 6th youngish raccoon in as many days on the side of road...it's just to sad. I don't know if they've become displaced some how or what, but something is surely amiss.
Freaking furball burglars, don't you know how much inconsiderate us humans are?
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