Helllllp, my biscuits are burnin'!
Last night, I experienced full on heart burn for the first time ever. Or at least, that's what I think it was. My stomach has been rockin' and rollin' since last Monday night. I've never had my body react so strongly to stress as this. My guts feel like something is seriously wrong in there and last night, after a particularly difficult afternoon all this nastiness came up from my tummy and burned my throat and about made me throw up.
I DON'T THINK SO STOMACH! You and me, we need to talk.
I thought I could reason with my tummy. Explain to it that I haven't been eating anything particularly acidic or otherwise problematic to my standard tough-as-nails stomach lining, I don't take vitamins or drink OJ without eating something first and (baaaaad idea by the way, you know, in case you were considering it) I don't much care for tomato based sauces, but do eat them raw whenever I get the chance b/c they are SOOOO yummy!
I said "Tummy, what's your deal? I'm good to you, in fact a little too good...have you noticed the muffin top you've got going on? HELLLO!"
It said "Burllllurrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppppppp."
I said "Tummy, come on. We can be friends, right? I know times are tough, I know the rest of my body isn't exactly agreeing with me either right now, but YOU? I've always thought I count on you?"
It said "Burllllurrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppppppp." and more burning crud came up, which made me run to the potty because I thought I was loosing my lunch. No such luck, this was WORSE then the dreaded porcelain god worshipping, way worse!
Fine, you win tummy. For now. But don't get too excited, this isn't over.
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