No fun for you!

It's a raucous day in PDC land, whoa nelly! There is giggling and yuk yuking going on all around me. I participated a little myself and then all hell broke loose.

We all just got the smack down from the higher ups about giggling and too much fun going on in the office.

wow. NO FUN FOR YOU!

Ricky Raccoon, Watch Your Speed Man!

Ok, to all the raccoons that live in the fields and tree growth on either side of West I76 between Kipling & Pecos will you PLEASE PLEASE stop trying to cross the highway? Is there something so totally delicious on the other side of the high way that you simply must have it? If your family is over there, you must all decide to stay on one side and call it good. Your sweet, little, furry bodies are simply not capable of moving faster than cars careening down the highway at 65+ miles per hour at all hours of the day and night.

Consider the following:

Fact 1a: Raccoons weigh approximately 12 - 25 pounds
Fact 1b: Cars weigh approximately 2 - 4 tons

Fact 2a: Raccoons are made of fur and whiskers and cute little stripy things that make them look like little burglars
Fact 2b: Cars are made of steel and petroleum products and a standard combustion engine

Fact 3a: Raccoons amble and highways are not meant for ambling
Fact 3b: Cars move quickly, make sudden and sometimes erratic movements pending on their operators

Fact 4a: Raccoons live and climb in trees
Fact 4b: Cars cannot climb trees

Logic would dictate that raccoons should thus avoid highways and large, loud, heavy things that move at a rate of speed not conceivable by said raccoons.

Can't we all decide that it's in your best interest to simply pretend as if the highway isn't there, it's like some great looming unknown that you don't dare explore? I know it's not fair, I know you were here first and us stinky humans came along and screwed it all up for you. Trust me, this saddens me tremendously. But seeing your lifeless little bodies in numbers unparalleled to years before makes my heart wrench.

If nothing else, please try to put the fear of the Gods in the hearts of your babies so they will at least avoid all that concrete! It's scary stuff danget and I love you and don't want anyone else getting smooshed. It's just not such a great way to start the day, you know?

Peace be with you little furry burglars and stay off the damn highway! Don't even go near it! Ok?

Yours truly,
Fruity Raccoon Lover

This Should Be A Crime

OMG, last night I made breakfast for dinner. Max's personal favorite, cheap and easy. I made a huge pan of fried potatoes in olive oil with garlic and onions, turkey bacon and sunnyside eggs for the man and egg beaters w/ mushrooms and tomatoes for moi! I love fungus, on everything, even eggish things.

Well, I had some left over and reheated for breakfast today at work, it should be illegal to eat this good on a Wednesday morning! YUMMMMMO

Annnnnnd Obama is at the Thornton tonight with Roy Romer for a Town Hall meeting? WHATTT?

http://www.9news.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=92495

To bad it's not open to the public, that's ok, I'll let it slide this time. Education reform is on the docket for today, which is sorely needed in this state and the surrounding I know as well, specifically Wyoming and New Mexico. Unless your kid goes to private school in these states, there is a good chance they aren't receiving adequate education to help transition them into adult hood, i.e...the work force. We'll see what Mr. Man has to say about that:)

* Happy Sigh *

I'm an Obama Girl!

OH and I get to take my first official .Net certification class in September. WOOT WOOT! Approved by Nancy and comped by Ameriteach. BUYAH BABY!

Long Weekends - Le Purrrr

This weekend was so relaxing, active, but still enjoyable.

Friday: Max and I spent time with my mom and Jim. It was fun, though I will never ever play Monopoly again with either of them. Some people have different idea's about what constitutes a healthy competitive spirit:)

Saturday: We mostly slept and ate all day, we were both totally wiped from my Mom's the night before.

Sunday: Got up early, did some laundry and went to Iron Man. Good flick if your into that genre. Better then most of the other Marvel Comic movies, sans XMen which is my personal favorite. The sound track was exceptional, definitely added a touch of intensity to the already action packed film. Oh and I love Robert Downey, Jr. I think he's an incredible actor and has grown in the public eye to the best of his abilities.

Helen invited us to her mom's for a bbq. We went, families are fun. Passing the baby around, boys playing sports and girls sitting around talking. Good stuff. I was totally humbled by the story of one family that I met and it has stuck with me since. This 23 year old woman and her husband adopted her 6 (or 8, I can't remember) brothers & sisters after her mother abandoned them and her father went to prison. The children range in age from 8 - 18, mostly boys:) It's a very sad story, but one of triumph and hope. If this young woman, who has been through so much pain and abuse can strive to do the right thing for her family and make it work, surely we all can take something from that?

Monday: We slept and ate all day again. It rained most of the day, so it was perfect for those activities anyway.

Max has finals this week and is actively looking for a job. This week looks mostly quiet for me, I should be starting the doggy day care on Saturday, though I still haven't received confirmation of that. hmmm, flakey? We see.

I missed two calls from Kai & Kenari yesterday and didn't realize it until later in the evening, so I need to firm up plans with them to this week. It's amazing how difficult it can be to connect with people sometimes, between schedules and life and family! Jeesh.

Signing off for now
Xo
S

www.postsecret.com

The Reason (Hoobastank)

A song close to my heart, it's my theme song for Max.

A weird mouth day?

I'm having a weird mouth day. Everything I eat tastes weird, off somehow. Even my salad, that I prepared myself last night tastes strange today. The iced tea I have drunk every day for the past 3 years of my life even tastes a little bitter and metallic. ick. Something is amiss...

Hopefully, we'll get to leave early today. I'm already eyeballing the time and it's only 12:30. Sigh. It's been a long week. I hope this weekend can be calmed and defused at home, it's been tense with Max. He's probably at home breaking my fairy and sticking things in my candles. It is an all battle of wills at my house right now, he's not getting his way and I'm not backing down. Fun stuff.

I've decided that nature is just cruel. The love that parents have for their children is surpassed by nothing else and once you become a mother, this becomes your entire life for many years so you and that baby can bond. Bonding then serves as the connection while surfing through the difficult waves of adolescence. Except, the adolescent ends up resenting the parent for the bond on some level because it feels to consuming and they must break away and become their own individuals. Which the parent wants for the child of course, because this is how you become a healthy adult. But the growing pains in between it all are heartbreaking. yick.

We are supposed to go to my mom's tonight, we'll probably go. She offered to front me a little gas cash, it's wicked expensive right now in CO for gas. It might help to get Max and I out of the house..

I really want to eat the rest of my salad, but the memory of my last bite is still lingering. I'll settle for some water I guess and see how that goes.

Off for now, happy long weekend everyone. Have a good one!

I've Decided

That whoever came up with the term "Slept Like A Baby" either:

a) Never had children, because babies don't really sleep all that much

or

b) Only caught his infant son sleeping soundly after his son's mother had breastfed, burped and walked/rocked the baby for 3 hours.

I've also decided that when babies DO finally sleep, after their basic needs are met, it's only because:

a) They don't know yet what loss, anxiety, pain, fear and worry are

and

b) They don't yet that they will someday have a child that will keep them up at night fretting

You were born to love, Sarah, no matter the cost, no matter what someone else said, and no matter how the past once played out.

- The Universe

TUT TUT!
http://www.tut.com/

I'll Miss That Tree

Summer is visiting Colorado. Almost 90 today. It's warm enough that I need to keep the windows wide open and at night, I am asking the wind to come and the air around in the house. Especially that top level, it gets wicked hot up there in the summer as heat rises you know! Luckily, the basement has been our refuge in the 100+ degree weather of past summers.

Last night, the wind was giving the Aspen in my neighbors yard plenty of banter for discussion. This tree has lulled me to sleep many a hot night when the welcome summer breezes whisper through it and the leaves get to talking to one another. This tree is about 20 years old and pretty mighty for it's age, it shares it's leaves with my yard each fall and each spring. Funny that I never really minded raking the leaves, though the joke was always that Danny (the neighbor) should have to rake them since it was his tree

As I lay there listening to the tree rustling and bustling, a fresh batch of tears sprouted as I drifted off to sleep. I will miss that tree. I will miss my house and my front yard, which is sprouting up all the flowers I planted last summer beautifully. Spring has been kind to us this year.

I have unbearable days of anxiety, fear and depression about the house. I have others where it's more bearable and it really feels like the right decision. Regardless, one thing I've learned for certain is that this life is determined to give me clear instruction about accepting and managing change and what can be done to avoid chaos in the process. Like listening to my intuition and being proactive, even when it's painful. And taking care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually. duh, I know.

I hope there will be a tree outside my window wherever we land next. It's such a soothing sound. Aspens have always been a favorite of mine. To me, they are the crème de la crème of Colorado tree's, each with their own unique personality, almost animated in nature. Except that Aspens actually reproduce their root structures in a genetically identical fashion, so you can have these huge forests that are all connected by one root system with clumps of tree's that match genetically, which generally means they will look similar depending on environmental factors and growth patters.

Hm. A day trip to Estes Park may be necessary in the fall, to wish those forests a good nights sleep until the spring. It's still boggles my mind that one of the oldest and largest living organism is actually a forest of connected root bound Aspen tree's in Utah. A trip to Utah in my life time might be in order.

Until then, I will appreciate the Aspen tree that is basically in my front yard and hope for lots and lots of subtle breezes in the coming months.

Another Shoe Dream

Last night I dreamt again about shoes. This time a salesmen was trying so sell me a beautiful pair of black and white Mary Jane chunky heels that looked amazing on me and I actually could afford them as I was getting some kind of insane discount. I looked a lot like a blonde Betty Page with a black and white polka dot dress in this dream. Unfortunately, I was having a terrible time making up my mind over the whole thing and the salesmen was pressuring me and I ended up running out of the store, sobbing. The whole dream was in black and white btw and the salesmen was a total creep, but I was madly fascinated with those shoes.

So, since this is the second shoe dream in as many nights, I finally looked it up out of fun and maybe to ease my subconscious a little. Google "Shoes" or "Black & White" along with "Dream Interpretation" and you'll come up with the same results I did. They all pretty much say the same, some blah blah about love and relationships and my path in life. Like WE didn't already know that:)

The Gods Are Smiling Upon Me Today?

Finally, after 3 full months of ongoing communications with this potential employer for part time work, they have finally offered me one of the two weekend shifts available. I've been pinning for this position since I was first in contact with the owner, who I find to be quite enjoyable to interact with. But, it seems her employee's don't like to give up their jobs at Dogtopia willingly, so I've been waiting, yes actually on a waiting list for this opportunity. All of the other doggy daycare places needed me to be available during week days, usually in shifts of 10am - 2pm or 11am - 3pm. That sort of thing, obviously not going to work. The evenings were like 10 PM - 6 AM. Yeah, sure only if I wanted to land in the nuthouse for realsies this time. So, this was the one I was wishing and hoping for and voila....here it is!

Here is the website to give you an idea of the work I'd be doing, mostly doggy day care which I can tell you sounds like way too much fun to get paid for. Some admin work, easy peasy stuff.

http://www.dog-topia.com/

This type of part time work, doesn't exactly pay a ton, but it is extra cash. Not enough to save my current situation or get me out of Chance's debt, which is the whole reason I was searching high and low for an extra job from Nov 2007 - March 2008. But I'm going to take it anyway, at least through the summer. I can committ to wrastling with doggehs for 6 hours on Saturday or 5 on Sundays. And it would bring in SOME extra cash, which no one can really ever complain about that right? Besides, I asked for it and here it is so I figure I owe it to this very sweet small business owner to commit to something. Work ethics aside, it just feels right.

I'm hoping to start this weekend, she wasn't sure if she wanted to train me on a Holiday weekend, so we'll see. And no one panic, they already know about our trip to WA in June and I will have to trade shifts with someone, but it will get worked out.

WOOF!

One more thing from this weekend....

I forgot to blogg on my dreams from last night, which seem worth documenting to me for some reason.

I dreamt that I was living with two men in a large house with hard wood floors. I am a little older, Max is off at college. Neither of the men are at all familiar to me. One is obviously my boyfriend, dark haired (why do men always have dark hair in my dreams?) and major five o clock shadow, kind eyes, softly spoken and very tall, considerably taller then myself. Probably at least 6' 4" or more.

The other man, is younger by about 5 years or so, possibly my boyfriends brother. I'm not sure, but they are very familiar with one another like family tends to be.

It is a Monday morning, I am getting ready for work and I am running late. I emerge from the shower and am dressed, hair and make up done perfectly. You would never know that I'd just taken a shower, but there steam rising from all around behind me when I open the door. I am quite stunning in this dream. I am wearing a dark green knee length broomstick skirt, lined with black velvet and a white tank top with a black velvet vest. My eyes are huge and a bluish violet color. I am tall and lean and even slightly tan. My hair is huge, almost like a spiral perm, but it's very very long so the curls aren't to kinked up. Kind of like mermaid hair. Totally larger then life and exaggerated idealistic version of myself.

When I open the door from the bathroom, my boyfriend and his *brother* are watching something on a desktop computer sitting on a desk in the room directly in front of me. They are laughing and pointing at something on the screen and giving me a hard time for making us all late for work. Between us are literally hundreds and hundreds of boxes of shoes. I begin to dig through the shoe boxes frantically because we are REALLY REALLY late, it's like 9 AM already and I still don't have my shoes on! Except, I can't find the shoes I want to wear that match what I am wearing. There is a very distinct pair I am looking for obviously and when I do find the shoes I want to wear, there is only one of them and then I can't find the matching shoe. I am really upset about this, the boys are poking fun at me and asking why can't I just pick a pair of black shoes, it doesn't' matter which pair right?

Finally, because we are all so late for work, I settle on a pair of shoes that aren't exactly what I'd pictured wearing with my outfit that day but fit and are comfortable and look nice enough and at least they match right? My boyfriend comes up to me and says "You've never looked more beautiful to me."

And that's the end of it.

What the?

Rico Suave

What a weekend! Productive AND fun, my kind of way to spend a few days away from the office.

Friday: I wasn't feeling well at all and did nothing Friday night.

Saturday: Woke up feeling refreshed and embarked on a completely crazy day. House cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry and a little cooking. Max and I went on a hike in Golden. This Spring is absolutely amazing, very lush for Colorado.

H texted me at about 7 to see if I might like to come with her to the Rock Rest, the only place like it west of Denver. At first, I was hesitant. I am broke, I was tired after a long day and H's friends are a slightly different crowd then I'm used to. Nothing directly unpleasant about them, we are just very different people from what I can see. Matt is still on the mend and I could tell she wanted to get out a bit, which I realized I also did so I agreed. She picked me up and we were there by 10 or so. I danced for 3 solid hours, I'm talking solid hours of aerobic exercise Gilad would envy. My thighs, calves and abs are still sore today. My hair was soaked with sweat by the time we left the club and my arms were even getting a good work out toward the end there. It was all worth it, I had a fantastic time. Reminiscent of my days with Crys & Dane at The Church. Those days are long gone and I am definitely pushing the edge of the age where it borders on inappropriate for me to be at such an establishment, but who really cares right? The music was thumping and a good mix, the dance floor was packed and I was feeling it 100%. Good times. We went to Village Inn after and munched some greasy, fatty fried foods and went home and slept until 10 AM only to wake up with RICO stamped on my hand, which inadvertently was then stamped to my face from sleeping on it. You'd think I'd have learned THIS lesson by now! Ha!

I did gain some insight from Saturday night. Solitude has become a critical factor in my over all equation toward growth, it took my some tough situations to learn this, but I now know that I require solitude regularly in order to reflect and regenerate. However, in standard Sarah form, I took it to far there for a while. I have been in a self imposed isolation for some time now and I think I'm about over it. I had forgotten that I am a naturally social individual. Social extroversion is an obvious aspect of my personality. I thrive off of the energy of large crowds and experiences that allow me to interact with alot of different people. Exposing myself to new people and experiences is something I genuinely enjoy and get excited about. I've missed that and I realized that a large piece of my social network has changed in this past year. All for the better, I assure you. But it has changed nonetheless and I now have the opportunity to explore my options. It's kind of exciting to think about it. The next question would be what do I want to do to expose myself to different people and environments? Book club fizzled out (too many working moms!) so that's not going to happen yet. I don't want to go to clubs every weekend and it's not quite what I have in mind, that's for sure. I thought a class at Colorado Free University after we move might be a good option. I have 3 weeks of classes to take at Ameriteach, but that's all during work hours and is totally devoted to the advancement of my career. CFU would be more for fun anyway. Maybe Spanish or Creative Writing or a Dance class of sorts? Or maybe a class in graphic design. It's not free, but there courses are considerably less then CU and some actually qualify for credit! Volunteering is also something I've been considering. I've been off and on with PAH for years, I may stick with them, but as I've mentioned before working with animals or young children also seems to be a direction I feel pulled in.

I guess we'll see. Certainly the current political climate gives me some opportunities as well, there is much going on in the world right now that I could sink myself into that would be both stimulating emotionally and mentally, but socially on some level. I find that when you are involved with a group of people with one common goal, you are likely to have a lot in common with them on other levels.

Sunday, I did a little cooking and Max and I lounged about the house. It's getting warm in CO, I was actually hot last night. Supposed to be close to 90 tomorrow, it's a little early for that if you ask me. Good thing I packed away those flannel sheets already!

This week doesn't look overly chaotic, normal I'd say in terms of activity. I am supposed to do something with Pam this weekend, we'll see if that happens. Either way, it's a long weekend and I'm ready to chill a little. June is going to be busy busy busy! I can't wait to see my family, I miss them all so much.

Xo,
S

I did it!

I have a cold, I feel like giant crap today. I caught it from Max, who had it last week and as far as I can tell it only lasts a few days.

However, I am happy today! Not because I am hacking and my nose is trying to run straight off my face? Noooo silly! Because it's been almost two full months since my last cold thing, which is a record for this past year in which I have been almostly constantly ill with flu-ish, cold-ish, stomach problems. I did get a touch of food poisoning about a month ago, but that's just par for the course and couldn't be helped. The fact that it's my first viral thing in a while seems like progress yes? I've been taking my vitamins, have almost completely cut out fast food (except salads and even then I use my own dressings) and have been walking a bit more regularly. So, all things considered, could it be I am on the up swing physically?

HALLELUJAH!

The goal now is to avoid it becoming a full blown sinus/ear infection. I will overcome!

Heart burn or burnt heart?

Helllllp, my biscuits are burnin'!

Last night, I experienced full on heart burn for the first time ever. Or at least, that's what I think it was. My stomach has been rockin' and rollin' since last Monday night. I've never had my body react so strongly to stress as this. My guts feel like something is seriously wrong in there and last night, after a particularly difficult afternoon all this nastiness came up from my tummy and burned my throat and about made me throw up.

I DON'T THINK SO STOMACH! You and me, we need to talk.

I thought I could reason with my tummy. Explain to it that I haven't been eating anything particularly acidic or otherwise problematic to my standard tough-as-nails stomach lining, I don't take vitamins or drink OJ without eating something first and (baaaaad idea by the way, you know, in case you were considering it) I don't much care for tomato based sauces, but do eat them raw whenever I get the chance b/c they are SOOOO yummy!

I said "Tummy, what's your deal? I'm good to you, in fact a little too good...have you noticed the muffin top you've got going on? HELLLO!"

It said "Burllllurrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppppppp."

I said "Tummy, come on. We can be friends, right? I know times are tough, I know the rest of my body isn't exactly agreeing with me either right now, but YOU? I've always thought I count on you?"

It said "Burllllurrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppppppp." and more burning crud came up, which made me run to the potty because I thought I was loosing my lunch. No such luck, this was WORSE then the dreaded porcelain god worshipping, way worse!

Fine, you win tummy. For now. But don't get too excited, this isn't over.

Rainy Day....Just Keep Swimming!

It's perfect for my mood, I am a bit....deflated I guess today. I am not sleeping well at all. I sit up and worry and fret and agonize about my choices and whether I'm doing the right thing. Certainly, I did not get here on my own. I wouldn't have even probably traveled down this road were it not for outside influences and my not being strong enough to say when. I am stronger now, but that doesn't exactly solve the current situation at hand.

Just keep swimming.....just keep swimming!

A 30 something woman's take on 40 something men

Max has been doing yard work for our neighbor, Gary. Which has given me the opportunity to get to know him a little more in the past month or so.

Very kind, crazy sense of humor and is in his late 40's. He is a successful photographer and will be traveling to China to cover the Olympics in Beijing for a few contracts he's secured, one of which is National Geographic. His home is basically a storage area for his equipment. Literally, every room is wall to wall camera's, lens, tri-pods, digital equipment, lighting equipment and things I as a novice have no clue about. The basement is being used as a dark room (perfect, the basement in that unit is not finished like mine) and this residence doesn't really feel like a home, more as a place he has landed. It belongs to his ex wife and he is renting it while on assignment in CO for the next year or so.

Friday night, after Matt & Helen left (we had some food and visited for a bit) I was heading out to my car to get my iPod. As I was heading back up the stairs from my car, I noticed Gary sitting on his deck having a cocktail. Joining him was Tracy, a long time friend of Gary who has been in town from Milwaukee. Tracy is also a photographer, out here on assignment from a magazine Wisconsin for the Democratic Convention, this was his first visit to familiarize himself with Denver. I found out this weekend that Gary is also from Wisconsin, Kenosha. Freaking cheese heads, wow small world aye?

In any event, I smiled, waved and they invited me over for drinks and I proceeded to spend the remainder of the evening chatting with them and having probably one of the best evenings I've had in months. We talked and laughed about Wisconsin. We talked about their work, my work. Max and life in Colorado. Conversation flowed incredibly well and I found myself basically enthralled by these guys and frankly, I think they both appreciated a pretty woman to spend the evening with, even though they were both perfect gentlemen and I did not at all feel like either of them were looking at me as if I had nothing interesting to contribute to the conversation. I felt more as if I was appreciated, just for being who I am. Considering that Gary is 48 (16 years my senior) and Tracy is 42 (10 years my senior) I was sort of expecting some degree of condescending comments about my age or lack of experience or any number of different things. Not once, in fact both of them seemed quite impressed by what I had achieved thus far (though I briefly explained my poor decision making in the past 3 years) and generally seemed interested in what I had to say. I kept checking for signs of creepiness, whether or not they were really more interested in my anatomy then our conversation, but I didn't get that vibe and I kept thinking to myself, could it be that THIS is what maturity does to men? Or maybe just these men.....

I learned a lot about these two people in the time we spoke. The photo journals they each have are breath-taking, it's like looking at 20 years of someone's life all documented in black & white or vivid color. They have loved, lost loves. Both have been married before, but not since. Traveled all over the world and lived in various cultures, had money and none at all. Lost mothers, fathers, children (one story was particularly heart breaking) siblings and best friends. Of course they both play instruments and eat organic food and are politically minded. And of course, I was totally charmed by them both. I'd say mostly because neither was in a big hurry to congratulate themselves on their own self importance or some how trying to impress me or one another.

Tracy and I hit it off quite well and Gary ended up heading into bed. Tracy and I sat up talking until 2 or so in the morning, drinking champagne and swapping life stories. I felt incredibly guilty for keeping him so late as his plane left for WI at 11 AM on Saturday, but he kept reassuring me that he was a "big boy" and sleep was something he'd become accustomed to coming and going. We exchanged email addresses, as he'll be back in town in July and then again in August to cover the convention. I realized, at the end of the evening that I had, once again been utterly charmed by a creative intellectual with a rainbow of life experience behind him, some incredibly sad and horrifying stories and some amazing. I even spent part of Saturday wondering what it might be like to date this man? Considerably older then myself and seems to share some of my passions in life. I am most definitely attracted to him, I can't lie. I thought that to myself the first time I met him 2 weeks ago. He is tall, dark and looks like someone you might see in a movie. Dark dark hair and skin, his mother is Puerto Rican and his father is French. He is cultured and interesting and has a masters degree in history and world religions. He is creative and a musician and is definitely passionate about life, though not at all creepy or disrespectful.

At least, this is what I saw in him Friday night based on what he's shared with me. Which could all be lies, though I'm inclined to believe much of what he say's because of the interaction between he and Gary. They obviously have known one another for at least as long as they say and it's sort of hard to ignore the photo journals. Pictures of past photo shoots, locations, wives, girlfriends, kids and families. It's hard to ignore that....

Silly woman! NO NO NO! BAD SARAH! Hello, haven't you learned your lesson? Chance APPEARED to be many of these things when you first met him, right? Hello, remember how madly insanely in love with him you were? How blinded you were by his charm and we all know how that turned out. Don't be stupid. Though, just writing about my evening makes me smile because it was, again, one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had in some time. And I won't deny that I secretly hope Tracy does email me, because I find him fascinating and would like to talk with him more and hell, if he wants to take me to dinner when he comes back here in July, why wouldn't I let him? He certainly was hinting around about that, but I am still sort of weird about men and don't trust anything that comes out of their mouths. But I will admit to softening a bit in this man's direction.

I will also admit to thinking to myself long and hard about why I it was that I happened upon these two at 8:30 on a Friday night? Both of these guys basically treated me like a princess the whole night. I didn't have to lift a finger. If I was low on champagne it was immediately noticed (and no, they were not trying to get me drunk) and I was asked if I would like a refill. And it wasn't cheap crap, their taste in liquor is pretty high end. Food was ordered from the Italian deli up the street and their choices were outstanding. Neither of them goffed at my requests (they asked what I would like) for at least one vegetarian dish and to my surprise 3 were ordered, along with their own choices and we all shared with plenty to spare. When I tried to pay my way for my portions of the meal, they looked at me as if I was insane and said absolutely not. Tracy made every effort to be quiet when Gary went to sleep so we would not disturb him and was considerate of that the entire evening. He was, after all a guest in this man's house. A little consideration of one's fellow man? Whoa, I was floored.

Maybe it was the universe giving me a little nudge, if you ARE going to date at some point, maybe you should consider your options and open your horizons a little. Dismissing a man simply because he is 10 or more years your senior seems ridiculous now. Quite the contrary, more so the idea seems more appealing.

There must be something seriously wrong with both of them, that's all I can say. The range of things have entered my mind. Commitment phobic? Set in their ways and insane? They eat with their feet? Have exploding foot fungus? *giggle*

How sad am I? Can't even trust it when the world hands it to me on a platter. That's enough of that distraction, but it was a nice one for a few hours:)

A Sweet Sweet Day

I woke up early, had some break feast with Max and we both went back to bed until noon! I slept like a baby and a Gaia cat was even keeping me company. I awoke to fresh roses and baby's breathe from Max and this silly little sheepish grin on his face. What a darling he is, he was so proud of himself and I was of him as well. It's the kind of thing only a son can do for their mom's that brings that silly grin out in their face, I am so blessed to see it every now and then:)

We spent a few hours putzing around the house and then ordered pizza and rented some movies. Turned off our phones and the boy actually cuddled me! Can you believe that? It made me realize how starved I am for physical contact, I felt like I never wanted to let him go. I realized as I was snuggling my boy and feeling totally content in the moment that our lives are changing in such a rapid motion that I am pretty overcome by it. I feel a little alone and a lot scared. But I still hold a sense of trust in the world and the people in it. I'm growing up a bit, Max is growing up alot. Big changes, universal shifts for us and the world at large I think. All of us are going through major transitions in this time, certainly I am not the only person I know facing adversities, challenges and growth. There's isn't exactly a sense of contentment in that knowledge, but at least the idea that we are changing. As a culture, as a world nation. I hope for the better, mostly I think so.

I am heading to bed, having checked my emails for the night and a few other sites I check in daily. Here's an interesting Alternet article, definitely worth a read:
http://www.alternet.org/workplace/84962

BAAAAAD KITTEHS!

Pumpkin:
A rare shot of her in total kitteh peace. She's quiet, not licking me or molesting my shoulder and is tucked up in a nice little kitteh hug.

Gaia: Going ape shit over the blue feather duster thingy. BEHOLD DEMON CAT!

Cat Hair

I just noticed there is Pumpkin hair all over my shirt. sigh. That's what I get for dressing in the dark and having a cat that sometimes sleeps on my clean laundry. That's ok, I'll go home and put my human smell all over her and then she'll have to take a long bath...wait, that's Gaia. Pumpkin can't get enough human, Gaia could mostly pass on it unless there's sink water or milk in it for her....oh and Kitty Krack (catnip) as Max now calls it. It occurred to me last night as we performed our daily catnip ritual and Gaia was rubbing all over it, only to flip over unexpectedly and race up and down the stairs a few times that it says alot about our culture that there is an entire industry devoted soley to the intoxication of our dear kitteh's so that they can goes nuts, all for entertainment purposes. Ours and the cat's I guess too. But more for ours I think, this seems a little sick when I think of it like that.

Gaia is looking gorgeous by the way, most of her fur has grown back from the surgery and her coat is getting back to it's luxuriously beautiful black self. Pumpkin is old and crotchety and needs constant attention when I am home, which I don't really mind except she has to be practically on top of me at all times if I am sitting and sometimes it's like DOOOD, I need some space!!!!!

I sort of feel like that in general right now, like I need some space. Physical space. Head space. Sometimes things get so complicated and emotional that I'm not totally able to manage it. Being a big girl isn't always easy and unlike when I was younger, I require a lot more solitude than I used to and I've not been getting it. Luckily, weekend is looking quiet. First weekend without a soccer game for.....2 months? Something like that. No social engagements, no work. Wow. I'm kind of excited actually b/c I have some motiviation to sort through junk in the basement and get all the shelving boxed up and cleaned out. It's something I've been ignoring, there's still a box full of Chance's garbage in there if you can believe it. I'm not sure what to do with some of it as it's electronics stuff, I think there's somewhere I can take it to be recycled? I also need to call the people to come and pick up the old washer and dryers. I know those can be useful somewhere.

Some big changes going on at home, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Said solitude is required before I can do so.

Xo,
S

www.postsecret.com

Thanks for reminding me P!

My current favorites....

You Came In With The Breeze....On Monday Morning!

Blogg title reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUqTH9e9sQU

Happy Monday Friends!

I'm at work, bright and early and ready to start another week. Our lead developer is currently yucking it up with our new DBA, swapping stories about past nasty roommates. They are being pretty loud for 7:15 AM on a Monday morning, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't annoying me as I got in early to get a head start on my week. I'm trying to ignore them because frankly it's pretty rude and the content of their discussion is seriously gross (5 guys living in a house during college, yeah ewwww!) except the stories remind me of what a total slob and inconsiderate person Chance was to live with and how happy I am to no longer be cleaning up after him. Max is an amazing helper around the house, cleaned his room spotless yesterday without even a word on my end and also manages to keep his own bathroom fairly neat. Getting Chance to even lift a finger was like pulling teeth and I was made to feel like a crazy person for requesting assistance and expecting a fairly organized and neat environment. What a freaking relief.

Dinning Out For Life went well on Thursday night, I don't have totals yet for our location but I'm sure they'll update the website at some point:
http://www.projectangelheart.org/

No new information on Matty, our thoughts are with him. I really hope we will have more information today, I keep repeating in my mind that speculating and worry will do no good at all.

Plans are coming together for our WA trip in June. I will have a pretty solidly itinerary by Friday. I need to just wrap up a few things with the Cousins and Crystal and we should be good.

The knee feels like it's on the mend, all the stairs at Jose O' Shea's on Thursday night for Dining Out For Life did a number on me though, probably could've done with out that.

Max is doing ok, I see a bit of a shift in attidue which is most appreciated. Perhaps the wave of hormones has subsided, School is still up for debate, it is what it is.

Ok, off to work. Busy week, as usual but my funk seems to have lifted a little, thank the sweet goddesses because otherwise I was thinking of checking in at Sunnybrook for a few:)

Xo,
S