I Love The Smell Of NIN In The Morning

I'm pretty worked up these past few days. To others it might sound counterproductive, but angry rageful violent music helps me transcend this energy into something more positive. Because I can release it safely, that's the beuaty of music. For some of us, it serves as such a poweful outlet it can change an entire situation around so one can think more clearly. NIN, Tool, Blue October are perfect for such situations for moi. The angry situations I mean. The frustrated-hateful-I-want-to-thrash-around-and-scream-my-head-off in-the-car ones.

There really isn't any new reason for the place I'm at emotionally. Filing for bankruptcy is pretty stressfull. Max is a teenage boy who can only see me as the tyrant who wants to control him and is constantly in his business about school (How dare I CARE about him!) and I've managed to blow out my knee pretty badly via an injury that would've never occurred 30 lbs ago. The blues are also perservering, which makes me want to scream. Sometimes I despise those raging chemicals in my body. Don't they have better things to do then put me in a funk? Why can't they work on shaping me into a glowing, svelt beuaty? I feel more like a cranky old witch, complete with wart on my nose and crooked little teeth. The better to eat you with my dear.

Yargh.

Oh well, I should learn to follow my own advice to others who are panicking. Last time I spoke to Pam, I told her "At least you know it will change. Something will eventually change and with changes comes the opportunity for progress and growth."

Sounds better than it feels right now.

Yargh MATEY!