If Anyone Is Interested...

I have a 14 year old know it all, arrogant and arbitrarily defiant teen age boy up for loan. Any hard labor...painting, cleaning, window washing, car washing, dog walking, lawn mowing or heavy lifting...he's yer man! If you enjoy unsolicited smart-aleck remarks, selective hearing and/or behavior that very similarly reflect Tourettes Syndrome, have I got a treat for you!

Come one, come all....I'm loaning him out cheap, only $5/hour. Well below the minimum wage. Actually, if you are interested, I am open to paying YOU to put his butt to work so I can have 2 hours of silence. You can't keep him though. He has a loving family and home, it's just that occasionally you see, he really just needs a good kick in the ass from someone that isn't me!

~ ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR ~

Mom needs a time out. Smoking again seems appealing. Breathe. Breathe.

And if anyone is planning on giving me the whole 'this is normal teenager' behavior talk, that's great, thank you...I do appreciate it...but it doesn't make me want to duct tape him to his bed any less. I'm trying t have a sense of humor, don't take my threats of physical punishment serious...I haven't laid a hand on that kid for disciplinary purposes since he was like 7 or 8 when I had to physically pick him up in the middle of a fit and put him in his bedroom on a time out and I left him there to throw his fit. Which was met with the WORST fit ever, and then by the WORST look a kid could ever give a Mom - like I had mortally wounded him (more like his feelings/pride I'm sure) for life and was the truest definition of abominable mother. He screamed and screamed at me for being a 'mean Mom' for a good 20 minutes and then I caved and went to cuddle him because he was crying himself hoarse. My attempts to physically control him only left him feeling more vulnerable and terrified, what choice did I have? Even big tough guys who have to be physically removed from the scene need their mommies right?

Freaking kid. I hope he remembers that when he's older.

Trust me, wringing his little neck has crossed my mind once or twice. But I breathe and think of why I practice a non-violent approach to all living things. Luckily, he wasn't raised in my family where spankings were the norm until you got bigger than your Mom and then it no longer worked as well.

Breathe.

Ok, now I am going to home where I will be the perfect picture of patience and use all my good mommying skills I have learned. And NOT duct tape him to the bed.

Wish me luck. And him too, he might need it.