Started the big shake down this week, so far so good. I feel incredible. I have tons of energy, I don’t know why I didn’t start this a long long time ago. But I’m doing it now and that’s what matters. Already lost a few lbs, I won’t start bouncing around until that first 20 comes off tho I have a non-food/non-booze present for myself at that mid way mark….I’ve already picked out the jewelry and everything and I’ll just go to wear Max got his ears pierced, that guy did a great job.
Crystal’s visit was lovely. She and D were on the go for most of it so we only got together twice, but I realize I have to share so I don’t get pouty about such things. Dancing and bogeying the night away was just what the doctor ordered for this fruit. It’s nice to have D in Denver, all the more enticing for Crystal visit, how did we get so lucky here in CO is what I want to know? I miss her and Peck so much, friends like that just don’t come along all that often.
Max leave’s for WY June 6th, he’ll be out there through August 1st with a week long break in between at home for 4th of July. I have mixed emotions about sending him off, but I sense it’s going to be ok. More on that when I have more time.
I’ve signed up for a yoga class 2 nights a week for the duration of June and belly dancing classes for most of July and into August. Tammy plans to participate in the belly dancing with me, which should be fun b/c she is like master-sowing woman so she and I have plans to make costumes together. I cannot afford much more then that right now, I had to put the guitar project on the side until I can fund it properly. June and July have booked up pretty quickly already. I am taking full advantage of this time for myself which will include lots of physical activity, time with loved ones, time with nature and plenty of down time. If my energy level holds up as it is currently, things should go swimmingly….
Gardening is coming along; the back yard is still in maintenance mode. I’m not sure pumpkins will have enough time to seed if we don’t get it done this weekend and this is my last weekend w/ Max so I don’t know, we’ll see….I’d really like some for the fall though. Gardening of this magnitude does cost money, we need a weed whacker and loppers and clippers…..all in due time. We enjoy the back yard plenty. Front yard looks great, my seeds are starting to sprout, next Spring should be absolutely gorgeous in my window boxes…this year, we’ll see. Now that I have an idea of how the sun hits everything and where the shade is, I’ll be on top of it next spring.
I’m still searching for the perfect show to go to, haven’t found one yet….Modest Mouse is high on the list, as is Ween. Mile High Music Fest would be the ideal, I mean that would freaking rock, maybe I’ll find tickets under a rock somewhere, maybe the back yard while digging those big ole suckers up?
Still talking to doggeh case worker, it’s slow go, but it’s in motion. I expect my attention may be else where for a while, so it might have to wait till Fall. The really cool thing about life is that there is SO much fun stuff to be doing and trouble to get into that I just can’t help myself, I have to taste a little bit of all of it
Happy Friday chickens, I love you!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Haven't forgotten about you dear Blogg
Life is busier then normal, wonderfully busy, but still not much room for blogging at the moment....more to come soon. xo my lovlies!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Memorial Day Shenanigans
Well, the weekend is upon us and I have so much fun stuff planned I can barely sit still. On the agenda:
Friday Night – Mall & Movie Night
I’m not a big consumer; in fact I mostly despise shopping of all kinds. However, every now and then I get a bug in my butt and like to spend the afternoon perusing stores with Max, eating mall junk food and we usually wind it up at the movie theatre. I have no desire to see much of anything out right now, but Mj is sold on the new Terminator and being that I’ve got 2, maybe 3 weekends left with the man child before he leaves for the summer, I can probably concede to a little futuristic robot war horror for a few hours in the name of hanging out with the kiddo.
Saturday
I have to work in the morning, big project trying to go live in 2 weeks, but getting requirements from the project manager on this project (not Nancy of course) is proving difficult. I could’ve written better requirements in 3rd grade, let’s just put it that way. He doesn’t take anything seriously, everything is half assed and he thinks everything is “easy” as in “Well, how hard can it be to just…x, y & z?” uh, yeah ok buddy….that’s why the average developer in my office is 34 years old and has an average of 10 years experience already. And that’s each pal, EACH of us have been doing this for 10 years already…AT LEAST that, most more like 15. So yeah….I have to do a little hand holding this weekend so I can actually do my job next week. Did I mention this guy gets on my nerves?
Saturday Night
Crystal, Dane, Peck, Randall, Melanie and friends….need I say more?
Sunday
I suspect there will be a recovery period, no one is DDing, everyone is either cabbing or light-railing the night before…this means debauchery. I’m so excited, I expect to do some groove thang shaking my bad self
Sunday Night
Dave & Busters with the whole crew and Max. That should be fun.
Monday
Rest and hang w/ the boy….he’ll be gone soon, I want as much time w/ him as possible.
Bring it on! Woo hoot!
Friday Night – Mall & Movie Night
I’m not a big consumer; in fact I mostly despise shopping of all kinds. However, every now and then I get a bug in my butt and like to spend the afternoon perusing stores with Max, eating mall junk food and we usually wind it up at the movie theatre. I have no desire to see much of anything out right now, but Mj is sold on the new Terminator and being that I’ve got 2, maybe 3 weekends left with the man child before he leaves for the summer, I can probably concede to a little futuristic robot war horror for a few hours in the name of hanging out with the kiddo.
Saturday
I have to work in the morning, big project trying to go live in 2 weeks, but getting requirements from the project manager on this project (not Nancy of course) is proving difficult. I could’ve written better requirements in 3rd grade, let’s just put it that way. He doesn’t take anything seriously, everything is half assed and he thinks everything is “easy” as in “Well, how hard can it be to just…x, y & z?” uh, yeah ok buddy….that’s why the average developer in my office is 34 years old and has an average of 10 years experience already. And that’s each pal, EACH of us have been doing this for 10 years already…AT LEAST that, most more like 15. So yeah….I have to do a little hand holding this weekend so I can actually do my job next week. Did I mention this guy gets on my nerves?
Saturday Night
Crystal, Dane, Peck, Randall, Melanie and friends….need I say more?
Sunday
I suspect there will be a recovery period, no one is DDing, everyone is either cabbing or light-railing the night before…this means debauchery. I’m so excited, I expect to do some groove thang shaking my bad self
Sunday Night
Dave & Busters with the whole crew and Max. That should be fun.
Monday
Rest and hang w/ the boy….he’ll be gone soon, I want as much time w/ him as possible.
Bring it on! Woo hoot!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Tuesday Ramblings....
1. My male friends who are married keep telling me how great their wives are, how lucky they are to have such a wonderful wife. Also, based on what I’ve seen, wives appear to do many of the same chores and other domestic duties I do in a day…so I’ve decided I am going to get me one of those wife thingy’s. I’m wondering where to go about hiring/purchasing one? Do they have some that
2. Food is not friend or foe, just food? Wow…that’s a concept huh? We’ll see, week one starts Tuesday, Mary 26th 2008. GO SARAH BANARAH!
3. My son has been a teenager for almost 5 solid years now. The drastic mood swings and ability to turn for sweet to sour without notice STILL catches me off guard at times.
4. I feel a sense of relief that Crystal ended up riding w/ Dane out to CO. I know it was all very last minute in nature, but I know that drive can be long on your own and I know that those two need that time considering the amount of time Dane is going to be in CO. I am looking forward to my time with Crystal while she’s in town and promise to post lots of pics. I am also looking forward to hanging out with Dane over the weekend when he’s not riding or working or WOWing.
5. Life feels really good right now, things are still uncertain with Max for the summer, but other then that. It’s all good baby.
2. Food is not friend or foe, just food? Wow…that’s a concept huh? We’ll see, week one starts Tuesday, Mary 26th 2008. GO SARAH BANARAH!
3. My son has been a teenager for almost 5 solid years now. The drastic mood swings and ability to turn for sweet to sour without notice STILL catches me off guard at times.
4. I feel a sense of relief that Crystal ended up riding w/ Dane out to CO. I know it was all very last minute in nature, but I know that drive can be long on your own and I know that those two need that time considering the amount of time Dane is going to be in CO. I am looking forward to my time with Crystal while she’s in town and promise to post lots of pics. I am also looking forward to hanging out with Dane over the weekend when he’s not riding or working or WOWing.
5. Life feels really good right now, things are still uncertain with Max for the summer, but other then that. It’s all good baby.
Here's A Thought
If it is true that when we die and go to the “Other Side” we are no longer flesh baring beings and only exist in the spirit form, this would mean that things like food and sex and the smell of incense burning or how music can change an entire day around or the embrace of my child or the sound of rain are no longer relevant? Or AS relevant? That the very glory of evolving into this higher being will supersede all of this fleshy fun?
I’m certain you must retain the memory of these events that bring such earthly pleasures our way. I have to believe that these things must be part of the benefit of being human and living life in the first place, like ice cream for listening to our hearts and trying to fulfill whatever path we are meant to fulfill. But why I would strive and struggle and pray that I might become a loving, forgiving, whole omniscient being after having experienced all these lifetimes full of really cool experiences only to end up on the other end with no peanut butter causes me some distress. Sorry, I am just getting used to enjoying myself and there’s a chance it’s only for a limited time? Really? How the heck does that work? That makes me want to become really greedy with all the earthly enjoyments I can stuff into one life time thank you very much.
My only hope is that if I ever make it there in the first place I won’t be nearly this shallow about such a gift as evolving into a higher being and becoming one with the Universe. I really wouldn’t want to disappoint whomever is waiting there for me on the other side or miss it entirely just because I am a total glutton for all things pleasurable. Sigh.
I’m certain you must retain the memory of these events that bring such earthly pleasures our way. I have to believe that these things must be part of the benefit of being human and living life in the first place, like ice cream for listening to our hearts and trying to fulfill whatever path we are meant to fulfill. But why I would strive and struggle and pray that I might become a loving, forgiving, whole omniscient being after having experienced all these lifetimes full of really cool experiences only to end up on the other end with no peanut butter causes me some distress. Sorry, I am just getting used to enjoying myself and there’s a chance it’s only for a limited time? Really? How the heck does that work? That makes me want to become really greedy with all the earthly enjoyments I can stuff into one life time thank you very much.
My only hope is that if I ever make it there in the first place I won’t be nearly this shallow about such a gift as evolving into a higher being and becoming one with the Universe. I really wouldn’t want to disappoint whomever is waiting there for me on the other side or miss it entirely just because I am a total glutton for all things pleasurable. Sigh.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
.jpg)
Friday, May 15, 2009
I hate it when that happens...
I’ve recently been inserting foot into mouth far too often. For example, today I made an insensitive comment to a friend that if I’d taken the 2 extra seconds to actually consider the situation, could have been completely avoided. Somehow, the route between brain and mouth has been bypassed. Either I’ve become that person who doesn’t care what she says no matter the cost to others or I am just not patient enough to take the time to analyze a situation before commenting on it. Either way, this does not satisfy me. I’d much prefer to be a kinder, gentler type of Sarah who friends and family and loved ones can turn to without fear of being lambasted by my word vomit.
Chalk it up to experience or yet another phase in learning about interacting and communicating with others, but I’m definitely on the road to silencing that voice in my head that isn’t always as considerate of others as it could be.
Chalk it up to experience or yet another phase in learning about interacting and communicating with others, but I’m definitely on the road to silencing that voice in my head that isn’t always as considerate of others as it could be.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
A Brief Vent
Cuz I’m in the mood to cuss a little, not because life is horrible but because there are some things you just have to get off your chest:
Pet Peeve Of The Day:
People who talk on their cell phones while using a public restroom. I don’t need to hear the intimate details of your fight last night with your boyfriend while you are doing your business. I cannot avoid the conversation because of the close vicinity of the stalls. I doubt the other caller wants to hear me flushing the toilet either. There is not a single reason why cell phone usage is required in the bathroom unless calling 911 for some reason, probably because someone stuck that cell phone in unmentionable places and you need help removing it. No matter how you slice it, cell phone usage in public bathrooms is just rude and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Worry Of The Day:
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how self centered and self indulgent I’ve been. I’ve been giving myself permission to be that way for far to long, I am rather disgusted with myself for spending these past few years completely wrapped up in how I feel about everything and not doing anything about it. It’s kind of pathetic in retrospect and while I will forgive myself, move on and try to do better next time….I am worried about how to break the habit while staying attentive to what my heart tells me is right for me. How do I stay present within myself and still love outwardly? I tend to get very lost in others and I will give of myself until there’s nothing left. I can’t do that any more. Balance is always the challenge for me no matter the subject and I am worried that will go to far to the extreme again and end up wondering how I got myself in such a mess with someone. I’m also afraid of being overly guarded as well. It’s been 2 years and I’ve still not got the energy to entertain the idea of really giving much of myself to anyone, other then my existing relationships and even some of those I find exhausting at times. I’m worried I’ve become jaded beyond repair.
Puzzle Of The Day
Why do some people think it is ok for them to treat other people poorly or disrespectfully? What makes them so special that they can scream at some poor clerk for doing her job or they can march around barking orders at their friends or kick their dogs or steal someone’s parking spot? Where do these people get the cajones to act like that? Didn’t their momma’s teach them any better and why does society tolerate it? We all have bad days and get snippy with others, but come one people, have we all lost our manners or what? If we can’t be civil to one another, how does the next generation know how to treat each other? I can’t help but feel like common courtesy and respect extends itself much farther then simply being polite to my neighbor or not going ballistic when someone cuts me off in traffic.
Pet Peeve Of The Day:
People who talk on their cell phones while using a public restroom. I don’t need to hear the intimate details of your fight last night with your boyfriend while you are doing your business. I cannot avoid the conversation because of the close vicinity of the stalls. I doubt the other caller wants to hear me flushing the toilet either. There is not a single reason why cell phone usage is required in the bathroom unless calling 911 for some reason, probably because someone stuck that cell phone in unmentionable places and you need help removing it. No matter how you slice it, cell phone usage in public bathrooms is just rude and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Worry Of The Day:
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how self centered and self indulgent I’ve been. I’ve been giving myself permission to be that way for far to long, I am rather disgusted with myself for spending these past few years completely wrapped up in how I feel about everything and not doing anything about it. It’s kind of pathetic in retrospect and while I will forgive myself, move on and try to do better next time….I am worried about how to break the habit while staying attentive to what my heart tells me is right for me. How do I stay present within myself and still love outwardly? I tend to get very lost in others and I will give of myself until there’s nothing left. I can’t do that any more. Balance is always the challenge for me no matter the subject and I am worried that will go to far to the extreme again and end up wondering how I got myself in such a mess with someone. I’m also afraid of being overly guarded as well. It’s been 2 years and I’ve still not got the energy to entertain the idea of really giving much of myself to anyone, other then my existing relationships and even some of those I find exhausting at times. I’m worried I’ve become jaded beyond repair.
Puzzle Of The Day
Why do some people think it is ok for them to treat other people poorly or disrespectfully? What makes them so special that they can scream at some poor clerk for doing her job or they can march around barking orders at their friends or kick their dogs or steal someone’s parking spot? Where do these people get the cajones to act like that? Didn’t their momma’s teach them any better and why does society tolerate it? We all have bad days and get snippy with others, but come one people, have we all lost our manners or what? If we can’t be civil to one another, how does the next generation know how to treat each other? I can’t help but feel like common courtesy and respect extends itself much farther then simply being polite to my neighbor or not going ballistic when someone cuts me off in traffic.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Rally and Rejoice!
My horoscope was spot on today:
http://shine.yahoo.com/astrology/aquarius/daily-extended/20090512/;_ylt=An36C2t2UQQ5J7jO4RiruqqNb6U5
My motivation and inspiration meter is through the roof (and hopefully the energy to do it all will follow) and I’ve begun making plans for the summer and dare I say, I am a little excited to have a few months to myself. That may seem selfish, but guess what? I don’t really care if it seems that way or not. Everything in my life is pointing toward this being “ok” for the summer. It feels right and why should I fight that because of fear? To let go of my hang ups about Max and his Dad and let it flow, within reason of course. Max seems aware that this will be a summer only situation and then he’ll spend holidays and what not with the Raver’s, but during the school year he will remain at home with me. To me this seems like a fair middle ground to the scenario, though I still haven’t talked to Sean about the details so who knows what resistances I will meet when that happens.
Speaking of, Sean just couldn’t resist calling on Mother’s Day. Haven’t heard from the guy in 2 weeks and he calls on Mother’s Day? How passive aggressive is that. Jerk weed.
In any event, I’m feeling pretty optimistic today and am choosing to capitalize on it rather then question it. In the coming months, I have the following plans being set into motion as we speak:
- Diet Program
I need help to loose these pounds. I need some kind of structured system and accountability. I’ve been trying for months on my own and am getting no where, except I’m not gaining so that’s good. It’s a substantial investment, but one I feel is necessary at this time and the opportunity is presenting itself so I’m jumping on it. I have no ridiculous visions of me being a size 8 or even a 10 again. But a solid, firm size 12 would suit me just fine and is totally realistic.
- Exercise Regime
I have been getting out and walking at least 3 times per week as it is, not as long as I’d like but minimum half an hour. My plan is to up that 30 minutes each morning on the treadmill at the rec center Mon – Sat and whatever else I can fit in otherwise for the first 2 – 3 weeks. After that I am hoping to up it to morning treadmill time plus 3 afternoons of yoga, palates or other more intensive exercise that will help tone, strengthen and help my flexibility/balance. One thing about being so chunky is that my balance is way way off, it has been really ever since I sprained my ankles the first time all those years ago, but now I have very little balance at all which is frustrating. I’d like to feel a bit less clumsy and a little more physically capable.
- Doggeh
I’ve become working with a ‘case worker’ of sorts at Table Mountain Animal Center, which is our local animal shelter. It’s pretty cool, you essentially give her all your specs and she begins working with you to find a good fit. My hope is that we will find a good match within the first 2 weeks of June before Max leaves for WY, thus giving Max the change for input and then giving me plenty of time with said doggeh through the summer months to bond and work with and taking training courses at PetSmart (all free, isn’t that cool?)
- Guitar Lessons
I’m still saving up for my beginner’s guitar and have found lessons, but it’s going to be at least another month before I can afford both. There is some question about whether I should just focus on doggeh first and then pick up the guitar piece or if I want to begin belly dance classes. I guess I’m flailing a bit on the “hobby” front still; I need to focus some really meditative thought on that and proceed accordingly.
Obviously reading and gardening and spending time with friends and family is always high on my priority lists, but these things are my goals for the next 2 months starting June 1 2009. My flower garden in the front is coming along nicely; I am still amazed at how rich and healthy this soil is. Clearly someone was on the same path as me at this residence before. It’s crazy, in some spots you pick up a handful of soil and worms just spill out of it, good stuff. Max is going to help me get some more weeding done before he leaves so that I’ll have a fairly fresh canvas to work within the back; it’s like a jungle back there at the moment. That spring snow we got kicked the ass of our feared impending drought this year; let’s hope it stays that way!
Miss Crystal will be here in about a week. I cannot wait to see her fabulous self. I know Max is looking forward to it as well, he keeps joking about all the giggling and conspiring that will be going on, I tell him to get used to it, that’s what girls do. Until she gets here I have a dinner date with Miss Sassy Sandy Pants, gardening planned for the weekend and a zillion other chores to complete between now and next week, but it’s all good stuff. I love being focused and productive, I thrive on it and live for it. I wish I could express to you all how much moving has cleared my mind and heart, every day I am grateful and every day I feel I owe the Universe the work I promised it when I asked for what I wanted when we moved. I got it, we’ve settled and life is good. Now the work begins and it’s the best kind of work :)
http://shine.yahoo.com/astrology/aquarius/daily-extended/20090512/;_ylt=An36C2t2UQQ5J7jO4RiruqqNb6U5
My motivation and inspiration meter is through the roof (and hopefully the energy to do it all will follow) and I’ve begun making plans for the summer and dare I say, I am a little excited to have a few months to myself. That may seem selfish, but guess what? I don’t really care if it seems that way or not. Everything in my life is pointing toward this being “ok” for the summer. It feels right and why should I fight that because of fear? To let go of my hang ups about Max and his Dad and let it flow, within reason of course. Max seems aware that this will be a summer only situation and then he’ll spend holidays and what not with the Raver’s, but during the school year he will remain at home with me. To me this seems like a fair middle ground to the scenario, though I still haven’t talked to Sean about the details so who knows what resistances I will meet when that happens.
Speaking of, Sean just couldn’t resist calling on Mother’s Day. Haven’t heard from the guy in 2 weeks and he calls on Mother’s Day? How passive aggressive is that. Jerk weed.
In any event, I’m feeling pretty optimistic today and am choosing to capitalize on it rather then question it. In the coming months, I have the following plans being set into motion as we speak:
- Diet Program
I need help to loose these pounds. I need some kind of structured system and accountability. I’ve been trying for months on my own and am getting no where, except I’m not gaining so that’s good. It’s a substantial investment, but one I feel is necessary at this time and the opportunity is presenting itself so I’m jumping on it. I have no ridiculous visions of me being a size 8 or even a 10 again. But a solid, firm size 12 would suit me just fine and is totally realistic.
- Exercise Regime
I have been getting out and walking at least 3 times per week as it is, not as long as I’d like but minimum half an hour. My plan is to up that 30 minutes each morning on the treadmill at the rec center Mon – Sat and whatever else I can fit in otherwise for the first 2 – 3 weeks. After that I am hoping to up it to morning treadmill time plus 3 afternoons of yoga, palates or other more intensive exercise that will help tone, strengthen and help my flexibility/balance. One thing about being so chunky is that my balance is way way off, it has been really ever since I sprained my ankles the first time all those years ago, but now I have very little balance at all which is frustrating. I’d like to feel a bit less clumsy and a little more physically capable.
- Doggeh
I’ve become working with a ‘case worker’ of sorts at Table Mountain Animal Center, which is our local animal shelter. It’s pretty cool, you essentially give her all your specs and she begins working with you to find a good fit. My hope is that we will find a good match within the first 2 weeks of June before Max leaves for WY, thus giving Max the change for input and then giving me plenty of time with said doggeh through the summer months to bond and work with and taking training courses at PetSmart (all free, isn’t that cool?)
- Guitar Lessons
I’m still saving up for my beginner’s guitar and have found lessons, but it’s going to be at least another month before I can afford both. There is some question about whether I should just focus on doggeh first and then pick up the guitar piece or if I want to begin belly dance classes. I guess I’m flailing a bit on the “hobby” front still; I need to focus some really meditative thought on that and proceed accordingly.
Obviously reading and gardening and spending time with friends and family is always high on my priority lists, but these things are my goals for the next 2 months starting June 1 2009. My flower garden in the front is coming along nicely; I am still amazed at how rich and healthy this soil is. Clearly someone was on the same path as me at this residence before. It’s crazy, in some spots you pick up a handful of soil and worms just spill out of it, good stuff. Max is going to help me get some more weeding done before he leaves so that I’ll have a fairly fresh canvas to work within the back; it’s like a jungle back there at the moment. That spring snow we got kicked the ass of our feared impending drought this year; let’s hope it stays that way!
Miss Crystal will be here in about a week. I cannot wait to see her fabulous self. I know Max is looking forward to it as well, he keeps joking about all the giggling and conspiring that will be going on, I tell him to get used to it, that’s what girls do. Until she gets here I have a dinner date with Miss Sassy Sandy Pants, gardening planned for the weekend and a zillion other chores to complete between now and next week, but it’s all good stuff. I love being focused and productive, I thrive on it and live for it. I wish I could express to you all how much moving has cleared my mind and heart, every day I am grateful and every day I feel I owe the Universe the work I promised it when I asked for what I wanted when we moved. I got it, we’ve settled and life is good. Now the work begins and it’s the best kind of work :)
Friday, May 08, 2009
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Sigh....no laptop, no functional development environment, no real work to speak of until Nancy is out of these meetings for the next 3 days. Big changes, hurry up and wait. HURRY UP AND WAIT PEOPLE!
Outside of work life is busy as ever, not much was accomplished around the house this weekend due to Max and I feeling so under the weather. We did start weeding in the back though and much to our pleasure, we found a yard loaded with lots of healthy dirt with all kinds of worms to prove it. Specifically where I'm planning to plant the pumpkins/squash, I'm thinking they are really going to thrive there and I am eager to get a'planting. I've decided to load up on annuals/perennials in the front area and call it good. No reason to make it complicated.
The office still is in no shape for visitors, but I am chipping away at it. I am one of those people that gets really overwhelmed by the sight of a big job, aesthetically I mean. The visual of all those boxes to be sorted through, pictures to be hung and paperwork to file promptly causes me to find something else that needs to be done as soon as is human possible, like get on the computer and play Qwery on Pogo.com. But the office is slowly but surely becoming more like an office/guest room and less like a storage space.
Otherwise, the house feels pretty put together. Well, my closet/dresser is still pretty randomly sorted. No real organization there. Max's room actually looks great, he's done a lot to make it comfortable there. Speaking of Max, he's being awfully agreeable and pleasant. I'm enjoying it tremendously, but can't help but ask "Why? What the hell happened?" I've thought of asking him directly, it's all very strange. I really hope I am wrong and there isn't something suspicious about the whole situation.
Tonight I have plans to walk with Tammy and catch up, cook up some dinner and organize the rest of my books. Darrell is supposed to be down this weekend, we'll see if it happens. He's been planning it for a few weeks now, but that's happened before and something always comes up at the last minute that changes plans. Great guy, but our lives are just so not compatible and I'm really proud of both of us for seeing it for what it is and not making any hard feelings out of it. If he does make it down though, we'll have a great time and he'll go back up the mountain for an undetermined amount of time and that's fine with everyone involved. Sometimes maturing about relationships comes in the strangest forms, I swear.
I'm looking forward to Crystal's visit, only a few more weeks and it will be here! I can't believe I'm actually going to see Peck & Amy also, too crazy. I miss those girls!
Well, back to "work" for today. I really prefer my queue to be full, thank you. Otherwise, all I can think about is what I could be doing besides sitting a cube waiting for them to put me to work.
Outside of work life is busy as ever, not much was accomplished around the house this weekend due to Max and I feeling so under the weather. We did start weeding in the back though and much to our pleasure, we found a yard loaded with lots of healthy dirt with all kinds of worms to prove it. Specifically where I'm planning to plant the pumpkins/squash, I'm thinking they are really going to thrive there and I am eager to get a'planting. I've decided to load up on annuals/perennials in the front area and call it good. No reason to make it complicated.
The office still is in no shape for visitors, but I am chipping away at it. I am one of those people that gets really overwhelmed by the sight of a big job, aesthetically I mean. The visual of all those boxes to be sorted through, pictures to be hung and paperwork to file promptly causes me to find something else that needs to be done as soon as is human possible, like get on the computer and play Qwery on Pogo.com. But the office is slowly but surely becoming more like an office/guest room and less like a storage space.
Otherwise, the house feels pretty put together. Well, my closet/dresser is still pretty randomly sorted. No real organization there. Max's room actually looks great, he's done a lot to make it comfortable there. Speaking of Max, he's being awfully agreeable and pleasant. I'm enjoying it tremendously, but can't help but ask "Why? What the hell happened?" I've thought of asking him directly, it's all very strange. I really hope I am wrong and there isn't something suspicious about the whole situation.
Tonight I have plans to walk with Tammy and catch up, cook up some dinner and organize the rest of my books. Darrell is supposed to be down this weekend, we'll see if it happens. He's been planning it for a few weeks now, but that's happened before and something always comes up at the last minute that changes plans. Great guy, but our lives are just so not compatible and I'm really proud of both of us for seeing it for what it is and not making any hard feelings out of it. If he does make it down though, we'll have a great time and he'll go back up the mountain for an undetermined amount of time and that's fine with everyone involved. Sometimes maturing about relationships comes in the strangest forms, I swear.
I'm looking forward to Crystal's visit, only a few more weeks and it will be here! I can't believe I'm actually going to see Peck & Amy also, too crazy. I miss those girls!
Well, back to "work" for today. I really prefer my queue to be full, thank you. Otherwise, all I can think about is what I could be doing besides sitting a cube waiting for them to put me to work.
Monday, May 04, 2009
The Highs & Woes Of The Technie Industry
My desktop has been attacked by something with malicious intent. Must be all that “adult content” and Facebook-ing I do. Whatever. It’s been quite some time since I’ve done the networking/strictly IT side of things so I have dig way deep back in the little folds of my brain to remember the steps involved with properly detecting whatever it is that is causing my desktop to act like a squirrel on a vente double shot espresso from Starbucks. Sigh. It’s scanning right now which essentially eats up all of my resources until it’s done, thus allowing me to do little or nothing on the Internet, in Office 2003 OR use a single one of my development apps because those are the most resource intensive of the bunch (Visual Studio 2008 in particular) so I thought, hmmmmm, when in doubt, blog.
I’ve been thinking about my blog a lot lately. What is the purpose of it really? My intentions oscilate between it being about my own random meadorings, not really intened for any specific audience and wanting to use it as a means to keep folks posted on the somewhat mediocre life I’ve created with the occasional hiccups that produce both pleasures and pain, which in a sense seems a little narcasistic now that I am thinking on the subject. I’m undecided as to whether I need to change up the format and focus just on something specific, something USEFULL to the Internet world or if I am content to keep on posting, blathering on about whatever. I surely don’t expect that anyone is reading it, but when something blows up, I am reminded that it is being read and I should take that into consideration.
Things on the Max-front are interesting. He’s been ill for a few days and nothing brings out the “I want my mommy” – ies like having a head full of phlegm and a sore throat. So I did my duty as a mother and cared for him all weekend, meanwhile nursing my own bout of the ickness. Luckily we are both feeling much better today, no harm, no foul. I can’t quite figure him out, but something changed again around Wednesday or Thursday. He started being “nice” again, almost overly so. I am suspicious, suffice to say I don’t trust the boy at the moment. My mind wanders in all kinds of ugly places so it’s hard for me to know what’s really going on with him. Is he trying to trick me into thinking things are on the up and up, but secretly there is plotting going on behind my back? Yesterday we ran some quick errands and hung out most of the day together and I tell you, I enjoyed every moment of it. He has such a great sense of humor and can be like the sweetest guy on the planet. I figure hey, I’ll suck up this time with him where I can, it is fleeting after all. Something tells me this child is going to break someone’s heart in his life time and who’s heart to men always break first? There mother’s of course. Then, one would hope their mothers get to reap what’s been sown for the last 18 or 21 years, but we’ll see.
Work is quiet again, I keep having this fear that I’m going to come into work one of these days and get laid off. I’m trying desperately not to let that idea linger to long as to avoid it being cooked up as a reality (I’m a bit superstitious like that) because I’d really like to believe my job is stable so I can continue working on stabilizing the rest of my life, which is coming along nicely over all. But the fear hasn’t quite left me yet, it flares up and then the fear fire is put out by more code for me to write or trouble shoot, my inclusion in all things development team related and things all around being seemingly normal. For example, our department received a gold award from a global conference for delivery providers last month. It’s fairly prestigious and our department of 8 little developers and one kick ass supervisor (Ok, I GUESS the 24/7 IT admin staff had something to do with it….I mean SOMEONE has to make sure those servers are consistently operational and the database’s are being managed properly - they rock seriously) has some how managed to play with the big dogs in terms of application development to manage media delivery. So it’s nothing to sneeze at, we are even having a bbq thrown in our honor on Wednesday and I know the whole staff appreciates those types of events on occasion. Good for morale and all that. We are also getting ready to sign contract with a group that will pour a fair amount of cash into our department to merge our applications with their existing delivery media software. We are looking at potentially doubling our staff to make that transition happen so that gives you an idea of the kind of money we are talking about. Not sure where we are going to fit everyone, we are already crammed in here like sardines as it is, but I trust management to make it comfortable. They’ve never let me down yet. However, my bottom line is that I am insecure about my skill set at this point. Any new developers they hire are going to be experienced developers, I will continue to be low man on the development totem pole until I don’t know when, it really just takes time and experience and I wonder sometimes if my employer can have the patience to allow for that time to pass and experience to be gained. The reality is that they need a certain type of developer and I’m just not there yet. On the other hand, I believe that Nancy does value me and PDC isn’t the type of company to just throw someone away after 4 years, though I have seen it happen in one particular case. So I do feel like my ass is on the line and all I can do is get my butt to work every day, work hard and try to let them know I’m up to any task they have for me. It is stressfull tho, I can’t quite totally quiet the voices in my head telling me I’m on my way out and to get ready for it. That’s just how I’m built, to always be on guard for potential crisis. It wears me out some times.
Doh…back to work, my laptop is toast. It will have to be rebuilt and until then I will be sitting in the only empty cube in the office, setting up THAT environment for the next 2 days until my laptop comes back and then I’ll be setting THAT environment back up so I can actually get some work done. Poo. Not my happiest Monday, not the worst either tho I suppose :)
I’ve been thinking about my blog a lot lately. What is the purpose of it really? My intentions oscilate between it being about my own random meadorings, not really intened for any specific audience and wanting to use it as a means to keep folks posted on the somewhat mediocre life I’ve created with the occasional hiccups that produce both pleasures and pain, which in a sense seems a little narcasistic now that I am thinking on the subject. I’m undecided as to whether I need to change up the format and focus just on something specific, something USEFULL to the Internet world or if I am content to keep on posting, blathering on about whatever. I surely don’t expect that anyone is reading it, but when something blows up, I am reminded that it is being read and I should take that into consideration.
Things on the Max-front are interesting. He’s been ill for a few days and nothing brings out the “I want my mommy” – ies like having a head full of phlegm and a sore throat. So I did my duty as a mother and cared for him all weekend, meanwhile nursing my own bout of the ickness. Luckily we are both feeling much better today, no harm, no foul. I can’t quite figure him out, but something changed again around Wednesday or Thursday. He started being “nice” again, almost overly so. I am suspicious, suffice to say I don’t trust the boy at the moment. My mind wanders in all kinds of ugly places so it’s hard for me to know what’s really going on with him. Is he trying to trick me into thinking things are on the up and up, but secretly there is plotting going on behind my back? Yesterday we ran some quick errands and hung out most of the day together and I tell you, I enjoyed every moment of it. He has such a great sense of humor and can be like the sweetest guy on the planet. I figure hey, I’ll suck up this time with him where I can, it is fleeting after all. Something tells me this child is going to break someone’s heart in his life time and who’s heart to men always break first? There mother’s of course. Then, one would hope their mothers get to reap what’s been sown for the last 18 or 21 years, but we’ll see.
Work is quiet again, I keep having this fear that I’m going to come into work one of these days and get laid off. I’m trying desperately not to let that idea linger to long as to avoid it being cooked up as a reality (I’m a bit superstitious like that) because I’d really like to believe my job is stable so I can continue working on stabilizing the rest of my life, which is coming along nicely over all. But the fear hasn’t quite left me yet, it flares up and then the fear fire is put out by more code for me to write or trouble shoot, my inclusion in all things development team related and things all around being seemingly normal. For example, our department received a gold award from a global conference for delivery providers last month. It’s fairly prestigious and our department of 8 little developers and one kick ass supervisor (Ok, I GUESS the 24/7 IT admin staff had something to do with it….I mean SOMEONE has to make sure those servers are consistently operational and the database’s are being managed properly - they rock seriously) has some how managed to play with the big dogs in terms of application development to manage media delivery. So it’s nothing to sneeze at, we are even having a bbq thrown in our honor on Wednesday and I know the whole staff appreciates those types of events on occasion. Good for morale and all that. We are also getting ready to sign contract with a group that will pour a fair amount of cash into our department to merge our applications with their existing delivery media software. We are looking at potentially doubling our staff to make that transition happen so that gives you an idea of the kind of money we are talking about. Not sure where we are going to fit everyone, we are already crammed in here like sardines as it is, but I trust management to make it comfortable. They’ve never let me down yet. However, my bottom line is that I am insecure about my skill set at this point. Any new developers they hire are going to be experienced developers, I will continue to be low man on the development totem pole until I don’t know when, it really just takes time and experience and I wonder sometimes if my employer can have the patience to allow for that time to pass and experience to be gained. The reality is that they need a certain type of developer and I’m just not there yet. On the other hand, I believe that Nancy does value me and PDC isn’t the type of company to just throw someone away after 4 years, though I have seen it happen in one particular case. So I do feel like my ass is on the line and all I can do is get my butt to work every day, work hard and try to let them know I’m up to any task they have for me. It is stressfull tho, I can’t quite totally quiet the voices in my head telling me I’m on my way out and to get ready for it. That’s just how I’m built, to always be on guard for potential crisis. It wears me out some times.
Doh…back to work, my laptop is toast. It will have to be rebuilt and until then I will be sitting in the only empty cube in the office, setting up THAT environment for the next 2 days until my laptop comes back and then I’ll be setting THAT environment back up so I can actually get some work done. Poo. Not my happiest Monday, not the worst either tho I suppose :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)