Put On A Happy Face

How does that song go?

"Gray skies are gonna clear up,"
"Put on a happy face;"
"Brush off the clouds and cheer up,"
"Put on a happy face."
Bye Bye Birdie

I've never heard that song all the way through and am sure I've only heard it in movies and the like, but I'm taking it's advice today....

It's been raining in Colorado for several days, but the heat is returning and I am so grateful for the rain we had over the weekend. We needed it so badly and it was nice and cozy, a good way to spend the few short days we are given each week to spend with our families and loved ones. The weekend....it was pretty great, I could use many many more like it. It was the first weekend in I don't know how long that we didn't have something filling it up the entire time. There weren't people at our house all weekend, there weren't excessive chores to be done, nobody had to work and my Little Man came home from the Grandparents in a fairly light and happy mood, for which I am truly greatful.

We met with C's family for Sunday lunch as his Grandfather was in town, what a treat to meet him! Though I was telling Max that Gayle & Chance must get their eyes from Gayle's Mom cuz Robert's (Gayle's Dad) are a brilliant and playful blue. Robert also just turned 70 this year which is like shocking when you meet him, whatever he's done his whole life to be in such great spirits and health, he could probably sell it in a bottle. Chance and I were discussing our hopes that we might be so lucky to have look so great in 40 years! We both agreed that laying of the Mexican food and beer would be a good start ;-)

It was also very sweet of Gayle to treat us all to such a great lunch, we are so broke and a good meal out was desperately needed. We will miss her so much, I worry that C isn't really showing his true feelings about them moving to California. I am heartbroken for one and I know Max is pretty sad too, but we keep rationalizing that California isn't that far away really, if we had to drive it or something it's doable.

I am looking forward to another, somewhat quiet weekend ahead. I hate to wish my life away by speeding through the weeks and longing for the weekends, but I think I am at that point in life where I'm just a bit fried on the whole work thing. I know, I know...I'd better suck it up. I've got what...another 35+ years of working ahead of me. sigh. ok, that's depressing. I love what I do, I love where I work...I just wish I had a bit more free time to be at home with my family. Even if just for a while, Max is growing so fast and I love my home but never have enough time in it.

I am finding myself absolutely exhausted a lot of the time, it's making it hard to get up and do anything but drag my butt to work and maybe get home and do some laundry and cook dinner. It's starting to concern me a bit, when I mentioned it to my doctor his instant response was that I was likely depressed and need Xanax, here Sarah, let me write you a prescription and dope you up like the other 2/3rds of America. No thanks, I am looking into another physician. If I am depressed, I don't want to fix it with a pill...I want to figure out why and get healthy, but mostly I think I am just worn down and often feel like I have very little, if any help because I do have a great deal of responsibility and most of it is not the kind that one can get help with. Except the guys can do things like put the toaster away when they are done with it or wipe up their crumbs or (gasp) actually put their dishes in the dishwasher. But otherwise, it's mostly stuff I have to do anyway. It's just life right?

Suck it up and put on a happy face. That's my motto for the day. It sounds a little bitter doesn't it? Doh...ah well, I don't mean to be. I, like most other working Mom's I know, just want a break...maybe a long term one that doesn't involve living my life in my car and working for a company that may appreciate me to some degree, but I am easily replaceable and therefore a drone. Like on a beach somewhere, sipping fruity drinks and looking absolutely fabulous doing so (cuz I magically lost 30 lbs) with Chance and watching Max frolic in the water.

sigh.

Calgon, take me away!