Paging Mr. Dumbass!

Ok, I am a dumbass.

I sprained my ankle during the move. I can hardly put pressure on it and it's swelling. Again. At least it's the left one, if it was the right one that I all but completely mangled last year, I'd be screwed.

What my ankle does not know is how much work is left to be done.

I ignored it, but it didn't go away.

I tried to reason with it, it does not wish to be rational.

I begged, pleaded and even tried to bribe it to behave. No dice.

I can't wait to tell C about this, he's going to love me and I'm going to owe him big after THIS move. Jeesh.

Bad ankle.

Bubbly Little Butterflies

I just ate a ginormous vegetarian breakfast burrito with the most delicious veggie green chilie I've ever tasted. I am now ready for a nap and it's only 10:30 am Colorado time at this very moment.

We are all completely exhausted in general. The move went well though not as organized as I'd hoped. My Type A personality is sighing and fidgeting in every room with all the things that are yet to be done, but being in my new home feels like a rebirth. It's so bright and shiny and warm feeling. The very environment is affirming the decision. It is such a blessing. As we explore each room and play with the ideas of where pictures should be hung and pieces of art displayed, we are finding it feels even better and better as we spend the time doing so. It is a joyous process, however, moving any time in the foreseeable future is not on my agenda. Moving is really unpleasant, I'll pass for a while me thinks.

Maximus seems quite happy, he's been very bouncy and happy. The cats also seem enchanted, specifically with the downstairs. So many places to become invisible and peer out at us ridiculous humans. Gaia Cat has found a new home on our black office chair, which then becomes an office chair with a pair of gleaming green eyes. Chance literally sat on her yesterday because he didn't see her sitting in it. That was damn funny, they both got quite a surprise out of that one:) Pumpkin Kitty is just having a blast in general. Her arthritis seems to be getting to her with all those stairs, but I am hoping it will keep her spunky and happy for the rest of her years.

Speaking of stairs, I may not need to buy a treadmill after all. Running up and down all those stairs will probably do the trick. My ankles are letting me know that I did indeed hurt them very badly just about a year ago, I'd forgotten. Silly me. I also managed to stub my toe the day of the move, it still looks abnormal and strangely bluish. I now have Smurf Toe and Meatball Ankle.

All in all, the weekend was a success and I am just we are sleeping in our now home. No matter how disheveled it may seem, it does feel like home already. Side note: We were 30 minutes late for the closing on Thursday night, Chance and I almost strangled each other from the stress....but the closing itself went smoothly and quickly.

After the closing, we promptly drove to the house to thank it. Thank it for sharing with us. Kristen had been watching Max for me (achem, closings are really boring...just an FYI) and they all came to meet us at the house. We then went to Mary & Howard's for a wonderful wonderful meal and evening. How I adore them, they are so good to us. So kind. Mary and I have bonded tremendously this past year, I feel very close to her and her whole family. They are my family.

Friday, Justin lit a fire under my ass and informed me we were moving Friday instead of Saturday. I said ok and then stubbed my toe and felt like blaming it on Justin for making me rush around but then was happy that he got me moving cuz then we could sleep in our house on Friday. Friday was spent moving out of the yucky house and into the yummy house. Colleen had baby Evan with her all day and I was so happy to see him and have him in our new home, I adore that kid and can't wait to have him over night again. He's one of the happiest babies I've EVER seen! Rhi brought Miss Paula over for a quick visit and we chatted and went to Target, kitty litter is important when you have cats in a new house. Nice to see Paula, she is whole entire entity unto herself...like a new life form completely. A plant or lady bug, with a little stinger of course:) I also love how happy Rhi always seems when she's around Paula. A happy Rhi is good in my book. I then fell asleep after having to rush back to the Teller house to turn off a drippy washer faucet that threatened to flood the house. Dang!

I slept awful, mostly cuz we didn't have any blinds or window coverings up yet. I felt a little exposed. Chance and Max slept in late and I got up and got moving. I took a very long bath in my new tub. The caulking needs to be redone in some spots and bleached, there is a small bubble of mold growing. A few actually. Mold in Colorado is strange, I am still shocked it can grow here with the zero humidity levels most of the year. The rest of the day is was filled with people in and out all day, Mom & Jim came down to see it...Justin & Colleen came over again and Matt came to help finish what was left after a very long night for him, bless his heart. He's quite the reliable friend, I was so proud of him even though he looked pretty wrecked and very tired. He worked very hard.

Saturday night I had a fantastic chat with Aunty MB, I love her voice. It's got it's own character, like it's alive outside of her self. I miss her tremendously and in our usual fashion I babbled on and on about my life before I finally asked what was new for her. I am terrible with that, I just get excited and sort of "Blah" everything right away, ah well...that's just how I tick. Aunty sounds great, but Lil Tory sadly did not sound quite on top of his game. I got an email from her this morning that was profoundly moving, I really don't have the words as the email not only demonstrates her deep love for this sweet Lil Farm cat, but her ability to convey thought and emotion through written word. My heart hurt and rejoiced at the same time in reading of this love, it's a deeply curious thing...love, how we love each and our furry little buddies and all the that grow and give around us. Bravo to Aunty MB in capturing this love and setting it free. Thank you for sharing it with me, Tory is definitely the King of your heart and mine to in that he brought so much to your life. Bless him.

After I got off the phone with Aunty, we settled in and relaxed. Wrapped some soooprize gifts for Max, he was under the impression there was not Christmas this year. He was wrong, yay!

"Mom?" "Mom?" "Mom?" He found the Christmas Tree we put up and his gifts and spent an awful lot of time eyeballing them before finally coming to wake me, I was proud...he was rather patient. We got up and had a wonderful morning, it was a wonderful day in general. We didn't do much, I really couldn't cuz my ankles were swollen and my Smurf Toe was acting up...so I decided to leave the unpacking alone. We just chilled and watched movies and played games and Max played with his new toys, he's still a little guy in lots of ways even though he acts like a really big guy in most ways:) I love him, he is a dear.

Oh..and Matt did NOT ruin Christmas for the record.

Monday was not as productive as it could've been, I was actually quite irritated with everyone and really just wanted to go back to bed but there was much to be done. I did some work and then settled in for some golf. There was definitely some unneeded drama between Matt, Chance, Rhi and I. That won't be happening again. I think there were just too many cranky bodies needing some space, that said...everyone should probably apologize and move on.

Chance and I have decided to keep New Years ultra low key this year and spend it at home just he and I. We need some time together in our new house together, I am looking forward to it. We are going to make Sushi and drink Saki and hold hands and be in love. :) Yay.

Max is with his Grandparents until 01/02/2006. sigh. That is a very long time for Momma Bear to be away from her cub, but my little cub is pushing for more space and I am left with little choice. He's pushing in LOTS of directions...mostly just mine:) That's ok, we are finding our groove.

Well kids, I should be off. I have relatively little work to do, but should try to stay somewhat focused today. It's so quiet in here today, there is literally only about half the staff here...it's really nutty! Also, just an FYI to all...I don't have Comcast.Net access at home until Friday, so I am only checking email from work for now.

Love you all so so so much, peace.

Dear Friends & Family...

Dear Friends & Family...

Our lives are totally crazy right now, for reasons many of you know and some most of you don't right now...please do not take my lack of communication personal. I love you all and please send your positive vibes and prayers our way right now...we really need them.

Happy Holidays and I hope this finds you all well. More to come soon.....

I've Had It

I need to vent for a moment.

I am a little angry today and since I am supposed to be working on alleviating my anxiety more and stressing less, I will take this opportunity to blow off a little steam.

a) If you say your going to do something, do it.
If you do not, I don't not forgive this easily. To me, if you renege on a plan or task you've obligated yourself to and then blow it off, distrust begins to form in my mind. What's worse is if you obligate yourself to something and then leave me stuck with it; again and again and then act all confused when I call you out on it.

b) Double Standards
I work a full time job, I am a mother and I am a fairly sensitive person. I can not do and will not do everything. I am sorry if I have let some people in my life down. If you have suddenly realized that I am human and not some image of perfect, ever-nurturing, ever-tolerant individual and you are disappointed, tough ta ta's. Oh yes, and please don't assume that since I am a female it is my responsibility to act proper or chaste simply because it makes you more comfortable. What you see is what you get.

c) Accountability
I can not tolerate those who refuse to hold themselves accountable for their own behaviors, actions, opinions, etc. Do not blame or point your finger at me if you screwed up and especially do not expect me to bail you out or attempt to manipulate me to emotionally rationalize your own behavior. I'm tired of the guilt trips, I'm tired of the mental abuse and I'm damn tired of your chilly attitude. Don't expect more from me then you are willing to put forth yourself.

d) Kindness
Never ever mistake my kindness for weakness.

e) Gentleness
Those with gentle and tolerant character catch my eye, open my heart and perk my ears to listen carefully. Negativity, sarcasm, cruelty and apathy disgust me; and though I have love in my heart for all things, it does not mean I have to subject myself to that behavior and I have the right to walk away and remove myself form it. If this offends you, that is your choice.

I feel a little better, I am definitely looking forward to a good work out this afternoon though. breath and activity do wonders.

Peace all, hope your having a great day.

It finally happened....

Much to my dismay, it has finally happened.

I have officially "blossomed" into the round, semi-gelatinous tree fruit that is my namesake.

Main Entry: man·go
Pronunciation: 'ma[ng]-(")gO
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural mangoes also mangos
Etymology: Portuguese manga, probably from Malayalam mAnna
1 : a tropical fruit commonly with a firm yellowish red skin, hard central stone, and juicy aromatic pulp; also : an evergreen tree (Mangifera indica) of the cashew family that bears mangoes

Thanks Chance, I hope you are happy ;-)

I just consumed a gigantic bag of Moose Munch. 8 oz. of dark chocolate, almondy crunch-n-munch goodness. Before that I ate a round chocolate ball filled with gooey gummy peanut butter.

For lunch I ate a bowl of very healthy, low sodium vegetable soup and quickly added about 3 good pinches of salt and pepper to it. Sort of defeats the purpose doesn't it? Chance would KILL me if he knew I had a secret stash of salt in my drawer at work.

For breakfast I ate a bowl of very healthy oatmeal with and then promptly drank 4 cups off coffee with cocoa in it. OMG....CHOCOLATE in my COFFEE! That's right kids, I stirred chocolate into my coffee cuz cream and sugar just wasn't cutting it this morning.

I am developing cube butt and my middle has grown exponentially in the past several months. FYI, the Moose Munch is now gurgling around in my tummy and my tummy is pretty happy about it. Thank you Moose Munch, I am so glad you are not really a Moose.

I am round. It is cold outside and I am packing on the blubber, I expect to go into hibernation at any moment. Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Or...wait, what do Bears say? ROOOOARRRRRRRRR! ~ Waddles Back To Hibernation Cave ~

I like salt, caffeine, sugar, cheese, peanut butter, wine and the occasional cigarette. I like all the things that are bad for me. I like all the things that are good for me too, I like almost all food and drink and know I am blessed to NOT be a "selective" eater...cuz there are so many delicious things to consume it's almost maddening to think of. What I don't really like is that my metabolism is noticeably pokey these days and I, unfortunately, have not been blessed with the ability to eat whatever I want and look simply dashing doing so.

THEN I've got the "I'm stressed so I'll start grazing" munchies. I'm a little tense these days, admittedly. Who wouldn't be? I'm buying a house, slammed at work, have "sort-of" quite smoking, I have a 13 year old who loves to torment me and a 33 year old who apparently also takes great joy in giving me a damn hard time AND it's the freaking Holidays. Don't even talk to me about money. What I want to know is, why then can't I be one of those people who gets THINNER when stressed? You know what I mean? Well not me, no maam. I just get hungrier and do tend to work out more, but that does NOTHING when you eat a whole bag of Moose Munch and a freaking peanut butter ball for your snack at your sedentary job where you sit for 8 - 10 hours a day. Nope, that is NOT conducive to a sleek and cellulite free body, nope nope nope.

Danget, where's that Moose Munch?

So, I'm done with that whole rant. I mostly just wanted everyone to know that I am a big round jiggly and giggly fruit now. Don't be alarmed when you see me. You'll be able to spot me by the long blonde hair atop my gigantic Mango head, supported by my huge Pear shaped body.

My primary concern at this point is that I may spontaneously combust into a large pitcher of Mango Juice which will make a huge mess in my cube or car.

Whoooaaaa Nelly!

Um...it's like Windy and stuff:)

For any of you living in the Denver area you know what I am referring one of the blustery days I've ever witnessed in Colorado. It's a little unsettling, not too mention totally and completely freezing. But it is part of winter here, at least some of the time and I've always thought of the Wind as Mother Earth's way of very blatantly providing us with information of some sort or another. A warning, a sign, a sweet caress on a warm day. Wind is powerful and gentle all at the same time, no matter the intensity I always listen.

That said, I managed to avoid 2 boxes and 1 plastic garbage can (yes, GARBAGE can) on the way to work. One box almost slammed right into me from the other side of the highway on the way in, doubt it would've done damage to The Baby Jetta, but it startled me nonetheless. The garbage can was bouncing all around my exit off I25 to work and seemed to be mocking me more than anything, I'd steer away from it and it seemed to go the same way, steer the other direction. It was following me, I'm sure of it.! The highway was a challenge and I am thankful I made it without serious incident.

I am wrapping up the final pieces of documentation required in order to process my loan agreement with the lender. The inspection piece is completed and the sellers have agreed to the terms and conditions of items they must fix and/or address before we move in. The appraisal will be scheduled for next week and things are moving quickly, but smoothly. Every day we work through this process is another day in which I am reminded of how blessed and loved we are. Everyone has been so amazing, I am overwhelmed and overcome and grateful all at the same time. I think I may just need to pack the magnitude of this generosity in the depths of my heart for right now as trying to absorb it on top of going through the actual process of buying a home is probably a little much for anyone.

The weekend was a joyous one, tho exhausting to be frank. I had little baby Evan for the night on Friday and most of the day on Saturday. He's so sweet and I do enjoy him tremendously, so that was nice. I enjoy his little baby giggles and smiles and coo's and warmth, he provides an escape that is unlike any other.

We then went bowling and I mopped the floor with Chance and Max. I'm a good bowler and yes I am gloating, but it's cuz it's the ONLY thing I am at par with the guys on, otherwise, they kick my butt at EVERYTHING. Good thing I'm not pouty about it, but I will take my 15 minutes in the spotlight when needed:) After bowling we invited the gang over for dinner and some video games and what not.

I did need some girl time with Rhi and I am happy she could oblige. It's amazing how just verbalizing a thought or working through an emotion with another person can put things in perspective, I am glad she could listen as it helped me sort out some things I already knew the answers to but needed to just spit out in words. Also got to talk with Crystal which was such a treat, I miss her so and I enjoy hearing her voice. I miss our talks. Crys was at the fun store, we shared a few silly jokes and it was time for us to part temporarily. The remainder of the evening was fairly quiet and as always, I enjoyed my time with Matt and Rhi tremendously. I am also pleased to be getting to know Sam on a more personal level, I've always found him interesting and am happy to be learning more about his experiences and who he is.

Unfortunately, I did pay for staying up too late with the "kids", I am learning very quickly that my body doesn't bounce back like it used to from little sleep and it takes me days to recover when my routine is broken. Ah well, like everything else I am still finding the balance.

Sunday afternoon I spent some time with Max, talking about the new house and just snuggling him. He's pretty excited and I know he's going to love the new place, he's a great kid albeit an ornery one on occasion, but over I couldn't ask for more.

Last night C and I planned to have some quiet time to ourselves, but that did not pan out as I was soooo tired I fell asleep on his arm and that was that. mmmm, sleep good. So tonight, we will have quiet time after we clean up the house and make sure Max has everything ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow night is his first band concert, I'm excited;)

I should get to work. The townhouse is definitely consuming a lot of my resources, so I am having to make up time at work where I can. This means missed lunches and nose to the grindstone when I am not picking up a fax from my realtor or on the phone with my lender....talk about juggling, I should be good at this.

FYI: I'm telling everyone not to take it personal if I am not in touch or you've not heard from me much, especially given the time of year. It's not personal and I love you all. Oh and by the way, 2.5 weeks and counting till we move....whooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Nelly!

Oatmeal With A Fork? Ok, that'll work...

Yes boys and girls, it's that time again where I am attempting to eat oatmeal with a fork at work as I have no spoon today and our company is much to cheap to supply any sort of plasticware for our breakfeast and/or lunchtime pleasure. But I don't mind, becuase so far it's going well. It's the bottom of the bowl where the fork situation gets tricky. I also don't mind that my company is cheap about such things, they take pretty good care of us over all.

Next.

After a rather annoying moody day yesterday, I am feeling tip top today and ready to get going. I am pretty excited about the inspection today, mostly becuz it gives me an opportunity to ooooh and ahhhhh and MY (yes, MY! okay...I guess it's Max and Chances too) new digs. I can't wait to grin and smile and start taking measurements for the window coverings and really hope that there's nothing terribley wrong during the inspection.

Work of course is very busy, one thing I know for sure about life is that just becuase something life altering is going on in your immediate world, the rest of the world does not cease to stop moving. Danget. And here all this time I thought it was all about me ;-P

In other news, the 15 year old Orange Noise Monster now wakes me up at 5:30 each morning with her insessant mewing and sitting on my head. I have not decided if this is a positive thing or not, I am not an early riser generally but I am trying to make my mornings more usefull...perhaps Punky is here to help with that.

And finally....as if it was a big surprise that Alito was uber conservative and definately tips the scales (as if they needed tipping) in the Supreme Court...there it is quite clear that his stance on abortion and womens productive health will continue to complicate the issue and Planned Parenthood attorneys will certainly not be unemployed anytime soon. What bugs me is how sneaky he is about it, at least stand your ground if your going to have an option!