2 weeks since the surgery, all is going well. YAY Me.
Mom went home today, she has been such a blessing, we'll sure miss her.
More soon, just wanted to let everyone know I'm doing ok. I'm a little achy and, but otherwise good.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
How you could even have the balls to look at me and laugh today in Safeway is beyond me. How can YOU laugh at ME? How can you laugh at MY suffering, when so much of is a result of your actions, how can you not see that?
After everything you've done. You've stolen from, cheated, lied, conned and otherwise disrespected me and my entire family. I am sure you've still managed some how to rationalize it in your mind. Cuz you know, you are SUCH a good guy. You are so sound in the karmic sense? You are a good man, a kind man, a compassionate man? Humble and worshipping of the feminne divine, full of integrity and a martry of peace?
I am sure you are still, to this day after having stolen SO much from me, almost everything some might say....are still quite full of your self, still so sure of what kind of man you are, when in fact, you are nothing more than a child.
You make me sick. You aren't even man enough to face me, my son, any of my family. Coward. Narcassistic, self-absorbed slime. To say that I dislike you is an understatement but I can't ever hate you, not really, because it goes against what I believe in. I won't propegate the hate of this world, not on your sorry ass. Your not even worth it.
Besides, I would first have to hate myself for falling for your lies and manipulation and I can never do that. I've already lost enough, I won't loose what's left of my self worth.
Today you may have sealed your fate with the Universe. I keep trying to keep the faith, trying to remember that you will some day reap what you've sown. Right now, it sometimes feels like I am the only one suffering for this mess we made together. I try to remember that someday this will all be over, I even have days where I almost feel sorry for you because you really are screwed on the macro level. You can't do something so horrendous to another person and not have it come back to you, you just can't. At least I hope not, otherwise everything I've always believed in is a lie. You can keep passing it off like it's nothing, denying it. But it will come back to you. I hope that I am already paying for my mistakes and that I can just move on with my life.
I don't have anything else to say right now, I am still shocked that you would be so cruel as to laugh at me while I'm in this condition. You really are scum.
After everything you've done. You've stolen from, cheated, lied, conned and otherwise disrespected me and my entire family. I am sure you've still managed some how to rationalize it in your mind. Cuz you know, you are SUCH a good guy. You are so sound in the karmic sense? You are a good man, a kind man, a compassionate man? Humble and worshipping of the feminne divine, full of integrity and a martry of peace?
I am sure you are still, to this day after having stolen SO much from me, almost everything some might say....are still quite full of your self, still so sure of what kind of man you are, when in fact, you are nothing more than a child.
You make me sick. You aren't even man enough to face me, my son, any of my family. Coward. Narcassistic, self-absorbed slime. To say that I dislike you is an understatement but I can't ever hate you, not really, because it goes against what I believe in. I won't propegate the hate of this world, not on your sorry ass. Your not even worth it.
Besides, I would first have to hate myself for falling for your lies and manipulation and I can never do that. I've already lost enough, I won't loose what's left of my self worth.
Today you may have sealed your fate with the Universe. I keep trying to keep the faith, trying to remember that you will some day reap what you've sown. Right now, it sometimes feels like I am the only one suffering for this mess we made together. I try to remember that someday this will all be over, I even have days where I almost feel sorry for you because you really are screwed on the macro level. You can't do something so horrendous to another person and not have it come back to you, you just can't. At least I hope not, otherwise everything I've always believed in is a lie. You can keep passing it off like it's nothing, denying it. But it will come back to you. I hope that I am already paying for my mistakes and that I can just move on with my life.
I don't have anything else to say right now, I am still shocked that you would be so cruel as to laugh at me while I'm in this condition. You really are scum.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
07/14/2008 Update
Hi All,
Hope your summer is treating you well, it's a hot one on this side of the world that's for sure!
My surgery is sheduled for Wednesday at 1 PM, it will last 1 - 3 hours depending on how badly damaged my ligaments and bones are. I am expected to recover well and likely have
I will be pretty out of it for the first few days, you likely won't hear much from me for the next week or two. I am really not allowed to do much except ice and elevate, ice and elevate. And then, ice and elevate again:) After that I will steadily be more available (hopefully) and expect to return to working from hnome b mid August.
Hope you are all well, I'll keep you posted as more info becomes available.
Much love
S
Hope your summer is treating you well, it's a hot one on this side of the world that's for sure!
My surgery is sheduled for Wednesday at 1 PM, it will last 1 - 3 hours depending on how badly damaged my ligaments and bones are. I am expected to recover well and likely have
I will be pretty out of it for the first few days, you likely won't hear much from me for the next week or two. I am really not allowed to do much except ice and elevate, ice and elevate. And then, ice and elevate again:) After that I will steadily be more available (hopefully) and expect to return to working from hnome b mid August.
Hope you are all well, I'll keep you posted as more info becomes available.
Much love
S
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
07/09/08 Update
Hello All,
You are receiving this because you have requested that I keep you in the loop
about my current situation or I figured you may not have the detail and I should
fill you in. I apologize for not being more personal, but it’s about the best I
can do right now.
A few weeks ago, while on vacation in WA, I slipped down a small flight of
stairs and busted my right leg up pretty badly. At first we thought it was just
a bad sprain, but the pain was pretty severe and I heard crunching when I fell.
We were staying at my dear friends Dane & Crystal’s at the time. We were
supposed to be wrapping up our vacation there and heading home. The Universe
had different plans for moiJ
As it turned out, my fibula is broken in one spot, as well as two smaller
fractures beneath it closer to my foot. The fibula (for those of you who don’t
know, because I didn’t know) is the small leg bone next to your tibia. So, the
dr. at the urgent care facility gave me a boot, some pain meds and sent me on my
way, insisting I see a podiatrist/orthopedic specialist upon our return to CO. I was also
under strict instruction NOT to fly, so we had to postpone our flight and we
didn’t return to Denver until Tuesday 07/02/2008 (postponed from Sunday
06/29/2008.) With the 4th of July holiday; I wasn’t able to get into Drs until
today.
Today, Mom came and took me to the Drs, more x-rays were done and unfortunately,
my fears about surgery were solidified and I am scheduled for surgery Wednesday
or Thursday next week (07/16 or 07/18.) They are going to plate my fibula and
insert screws to get everything back to normal. I’m going to have hardware, woo
hoo! I’ll set off alarms at airports for real now.
The prognosis thus far is that I will be in recovery mode from surgery for a
minimum of two weeks after the surgery, most likely I won’t be able to work from
home at all during that time. Thus far, I’ve been lucky enough to still be able
to work some hours from home and I should be able to continue working from home
after that 2 week period is finished (hopefully, dr said some folks take up to 4 weeks to
get past the initial surgery depending on pain and what not.)
I will have a hard cast for 4 – 6 weeks after surgery; it is my right foot so I
am unable to drive. I will be in a boot cast for another 4 weeks after that.
We are looking at a minimum of 2 –3 months recovery time. Like the doc said, I
sure didn’t mess around on this one! Apparently when I hurt myself I do it up
right!
I am not 100% sure about what's going to happen with work, I need to get with my
boss and see what's the best for everyone involved. I am lucky to have a pretty
great employer, my supervisor totally rocks for which I am also grateful. I
feel pretty confident that we'll get things worked out in such a way that
addresses everyones needs. Some people might think I am nuts, but I will miss
being in the office these weeks. I'll miss my coworkers, that's for sure.
A lot of people have expressed concern about pain. Right now, I am pretty ok.
They gave me a splint until the surgery, it’s like a soft/half cast type of thing
and it’s not comfortable, but it feels more stable then the boot cast. Bathing
should be interesting with this, argh. Pre surgery, I am going to try and just
stay on the ibuprofens for the most part and maybe some pain meds at night (it’s
usually pretty creepy by the end of the day) and then when the surgery comes
I’ll probably be pretty doped up for the first few weeks. So I’ll be doing a
lot of sleeping I’m sure. Resting people heal quicker, go figure huh?
In the midst of this we have Max starting his sophomore year of high school next
month, I am still unsure of how long we have at the house and I have no idea how
much all of this is going to cost. Thank the gods for insurance, but even with
that and because I will have less income and not mention our regular bills
(food, etc…) it’s still looking a little scary at the moment.
But, I keep telling myself to hang in there. Lots of deep breathes. Again, I
do feel surprisingly positive. Everyone has been so supportive. I need to give extra props
out to Dane for his patience with the situation while I was in WA and to my mom,
Kristen and everyone else who has gone grocery shopping, given me rides,
listened to me cry, brought us food, etc. Thank you so much! I suspect I will
be calling on all of you again in the coming weeks and months, actually you can
pretty much expect it at this point.
And, Max of course deserves a pretty significant high five. We’ve had a few
rough days, but he really has been amazing. I can’t imagine doing this without
him. I also have Thomas (my teddy bear) and two very sweet kitty cats too keep
myecompany.
If I could get the hang of the crutches on the stairs we’d be in good shape. I
never once thought I be in crutches when we moved in this place, ah well, I’m
learning to crab crawl well and my abs and upper body are getting a good work
out that’s for damn sure.
That’s about it for now. I will update more as I can. Keep us in your hearts and thoughts; we need all the good juju we can get right now.
My love to you all
Xo
S
You are receiving this because you have requested that I keep you in the loop
about my current situation or I figured you may not have the detail and I should
fill you in. I apologize for not being more personal, but it’s about the best I
can do right now.
A few weeks ago, while on vacation in WA, I slipped down a small flight of
stairs and busted my right leg up pretty badly. At first we thought it was just
a bad sprain, but the pain was pretty severe and I heard crunching when I fell.
We were staying at my dear friends Dane & Crystal’s at the time. We were
supposed to be wrapping up our vacation there and heading home. The Universe
had different plans for moiJ
As it turned out, my fibula is broken in one spot, as well as two smaller
fractures beneath it closer to my foot. The fibula (for those of you who don’t
know, because I didn’t know) is the small leg bone next to your tibia. So, the
dr. at the urgent care facility gave me a boot, some pain meds and sent me on my
way, insisting I see a podiatrist/orthopedic specialist upon our return to CO. I was also
under strict instruction NOT to fly, so we had to postpone our flight and we
didn’t return to Denver until Tuesday 07/02/2008 (postponed from Sunday
06/29/2008.) With the 4th of July holiday; I wasn’t able to get into Drs until
today.
Today, Mom came and took me to the Drs, more x-rays were done and unfortunately,
my fears about surgery were solidified and I am scheduled for surgery Wednesday
or Thursday next week (07/16 or 07/18.) They are going to plate my fibula and
insert screws to get everything back to normal. I’m going to have hardware, woo
hoo! I’ll set off alarms at airports for real now.
The prognosis thus far is that I will be in recovery mode from surgery for a
minimum of two weeks after the surgery, most likely I won’t be able to work from
home at all during that time. Thus far, I’ve been lucky enough to still be able
to work some hours from home and I should be able to continue working from home
after that 2 week period is finished (hopefully, dr said some folks take up to 4 weeks to
get past the initial surgery depending on pain and what not.)
I will have a hard cast for 4 – 6 weeks after surgery; it is my right foot so I
am unable to drive. I will be in a boot cast for another 4 weeks after that.
We are looking at a minimum of 2 –3 months recovery time. Like the doc said, I
sure didn’t mess around on this one! Apparently when I hurt myself I do it up
right!
I am not 100% sure about what's going to happen with work, I need to get with my
boss and see what's the best for everyone involved. I am lucky to have a pretty
great employer, my supervisor totally rocks for which I am also grateful. I
feel pretty confident that we'll get things worked out in such a way that
addresses everyones needs. Some people might think I am nuts, but I will miss
being in the office these weeks. I'll miss my coworkers, that's for sure.
A lot of people have expressed concern about pain. Right now, I am pretty ok.
They gave me a splint until the surgery, it’s like a soft/half cast type of thing
and it’s not comfortable, but it feels more stable then the boot cast. Bathing
should be interesting with this, argh. Pre surgery, I am going to try and just
stay on the ibuprofens for the most part and maybe some pain meds at night (it’s
usually pretty creepy by the end of the day) and then when the surgery comes
I’ll probably be pretty doped up for the first few weeks. So I’ll be doing a
lot of sleeping I’m sure. Resting people heal quicker, go figure huh?
In the midst of this we have Max starting his sophomore year of high school next
month, I am still unsure of how long we have at the house and I have no idea how
much all of this is going to cost. Thank the gods for insurance, but even with
that and because I will have less income and not mention our regular bills
(food, etc…) it’s still looking a little scary at the moment.
But, I keep telling myself to hang in there. Lots of deep breathes. Again, I
do feel surprisingly positive. Everyone has been so supportive. I need to give extra props
out to Dane for his patience with the situation while I was in WA and to my mom,
Kristen and everyone else who has gone grocery shopping, given me rides,
listened to me cry, brought us food, etc. Thank you so much! I suspect I will
be calling on all of you again in the coming weeks and months, actually you can
pretty much expect it at this point.
And, Max of course deserves a pretty significant high five. We’ve had a few
rough days, but he really has been amazing. I can’t imagine doing this without
him. I also have Thomas (my teddy bear) and two very sweet kitty cats too keep
myecompany.
If I could get the hang of the crutches on the stairs we’d be in good shape. I
never once thought I be in crutches when we moved in this place, ah well, I’m
learning to crab crawl well and my abs and upper body are getting a good work
out that’s for damn sure.
That’s about it for now. I will update more as I can. Keep us in your hearts and thoughts; we need all the good juju we can get right now.
My love to you all
Xo
S
Sunday, July 06, 2008
An Update
I plan to have more detail on our trip to WA up sometime this week.
I am improving daily, I haven't taken any pain meds today yet which makes me happy. I am going to start getting off those and go straight to ibuprofens in the coming week. The swelling has also gone down significantly and blood is beginning to move through the area's, which I have to tell you, is an experience. I can feel the blood moving around in there and things crunch a little and it kind of stings and aches which is a really strange sensation, it's really odd to feel my body actually healing, but interesting too. Since the blood is moving around finally, everything is starting to bruise. Starting to look pretty gnarly, I will be sure to document this via photograph and post accordingly so as to adequately disgust you all:)
I haven't gotten to the orthopedist yet because of the holiday weekend, that will also happen this week.
Max is being pretty great most of the time. I've had to pull rank on him once or twice, remind him that I am simply human and this was an accident and he's really all I've got out here.
It has been an emotionally trying week in a number of ways. MB asked me if the work I mentioned in earlier posts feels less scary still, my answer is yes. Much feels like it is coming full circle for me, it's taken time, but I am getting back on top. A little bit each day, I'm making progress. My friends and family are amazing and supportive, yet comfortable giving me lots of space to come to the light in my own way, on my own terms. I don't even know who I am or what I am going to do with my life, but there seems to be a lot of faith in me anyways. I am grateful for that.
I am ordering pizza for dinner, it's a cop out but it will make Max happy (so he doesn't have to put something in the microwave which is apparently more than should be expected of him today) and me too b/c cheese and veggies on dough makes me happy:) I've been really watching my caloric intake, not today:)
Love to you all, more to come soon!
xo,
S
PS: I watched this fabulous movie about Sex Education in schools called "The Education Of Shelby Knox." It's about a 15 year old girl named Shelby Knox in Lubbox TX (this city at the highest teen pregnancy/STD rate in the USA in 2002) who had taken the purity pledge and also began noticing the increasing numbers of pregnant girls and teens with Gonohrea (it's back, scary!) in her grade. She basically begins a cruscade to educate teens about contraception and safe sex practices. It journals her experiences through the process, including serious backlash from her right-wing Christian community. Good stuff, they should watch it in schools!
I am improving daily, I haven't taken any pain meds today yet which makes me happy. I am going to start getting off those and go straight to ibuprofens in the coming week. The swelling has also gone down significantly and blood is beginning to move through the area's, which I have to tell you, is an experience. I can feel the blood moving around in there and things crunch a little and it kind of stings and aches which is a really strange sensation, it's really odd to feel my body actually healing, but interesting too. Since the blood is moving around finally, everything is starting to bruise. Starting to look pretty gnarly, I will be sure to document this via photograph and post accordingly so as to adequately disgust you all:)
I haven't gotten to the orthopedist yet because of the holiday weekend, that will also happen this week.
Max is being pretty great most of the time. I've had to pull rank on him once or twice, remind him that I am simply human and this was an accident and he's really all I've got out here.
It has been an emotionally trying week in a number of ways. MB asked me if the work I mentioned in earlier posts feels less scary still, my answer is yes. Much feels like it is coming full circle for me, it's taken time, but I am getting back on top. A little bit each day, I'm making progress. My friends and family are amazing and supportive, yet comfortable giving me lots of space to come to the light in my own way, on my own terms. I don't even know who I am or what I am going to do with my life, but there seems to be a lot of faith in me anyways. I am grateful for that.
I am ordering pizza for dinner, it's a cop out but it will make Max happy (so he doesn't have to put something in the microwave which is apparently more than should be expected of him today) and me too b/c cheese and veggies on dough makes me happy:) I've been really watching my caloric intake, not today:)
Love to you all, more to come soon!
xo,
S
PS: I watched this fabulous movie about Sex Education in schools called "The Education Of Shelby Knox." It's about a 15 year old girl named Shelby Knox in Lubbox TX (this city at the highest teen pregnancy/STD rate in the USA in 2002) who had taken the purity pledge and also began noticing the increasing numbers of pregnant girls and teens with Gonohrea (it's back, scary!) in her grade. She basically begins a cruscade to educate teens about contraception and safe sex practices. It journals her experiences through the process, including serious backlash from her right-wing Christian community. Good stuff, they should watch it in schools!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
You may surprised to know....
We just go home and I am in incredibely high spirits all things considered. My trip to WA was insightful (as it always is) and I came home with a lot of work to do, but none of it feels as scary as it did before I left Colorado.
The trip home was really pretty simple. I am still shocked and awed by the love and support of my friends and family. Dane & Crystal (thanks for that extra squeeze before I got on the plane D, it meant a lot) are saints, there's no way I could've got through these past few days without either of you and Crystal, I promise to blog the spider drama in depthly for later reminsicing:)
I love you all, I promise to detail the trip (with photos) soon. Tonight, it's bed time for us.
Max, you are my hero. You truly are a blessing in every possible way imaginable. I love you.
The trip home was really pretty simple. I am still shocked and awed by the love and support of my friends and family. Dane & Crystal (thanks for that extra squeeze before I got on the plane D, it meant a lot) are saints, there's no way I could've got through these past few days without either of you and Crystal, I promise to blog the spider drama in depthly for later reminsicing:)
I love you all, I promise to detail the trip (with photos) soon. Tonight, it's bed time for us.
Max, you are my hero. You truly are a blessing in every possible way imaginable. I love you.
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